Thanksgiving; Time with Family. No Thanks
 copyright © 2009 Betsy L. Angert. BeThink.org As Americans ponder the Thanksgiving Day holiday expectations are high. Young children look forward to all the activities loved ones plan. School age individuals are told tales of the Pilgrims and the Indians that befriended early settlers. Most imagine that on this November day, people come together peaceably. That, for the little ones is a welcome thought. Too often, tension exists in the parent child relationship. Some say angst increases as the offspring age. Whilst many wish to believe the strain occurs over time, as a child becomes more autonomous, indeed, recent research shows early interactions give rise to the relationship that will be. Toddlers and tots rarely have opportunities to quietly, calmly, and genuinely converse with parents or the caregivers they are fond of. Hence, lads and lasses feel a sense of loss. By the teen years, the thought of another Thanksgiving celebration with relatives evokes an almost automatic response, "No thanks." |
Thankfully, a second stolen in the car, a tender thought expressed while on the run, these are life's little riches. Yet, these treasures occur infrequently. Oh, how much Mike and Michelle yearn for a few hours of tête-à-tête with the Moms and Dads they love. Juanita and Jorge too hunger for a long and heartfelt talk, followed by a hug. Angelique and Akil desire discourse. A deep discussion with Mama and Papa would mean so much. Children crave a balance, parental involvement coupled with reciprocal reverence. A baby, a boy, a girl, or a blossoming adult wants a hand to hold gingerly rather than a hand that guide.
While mothers and fathers also hope to establish a strong relationship with their offspring and other relatives what occurs at home is often other than fulfilling. Time together on Thanksgiving Day does provide for a new normal. Superficial exchanges are as common during the commemoration as they are day to day. We dream of the good times and too frequently feel the holidays are not it. Nevertheless, individuals still hold on to hope. Let there be a reason to give thanks.
In some, Thanksgiving Day, and the entire celebratory season, elicits memories of fight or flight. Nonetheless, there is a thought that usually associated with appreciation; a turkey feast will likely be featured on the menu. Pumpkin pie will probably be served too. Oh my!
Thank goodness for food. With childhood memories intact, men and women who reflect on the delicious delicacies expect to feel fulfilled or full even if they feel forced to endure the company of family. Sights, smells and that ever-present sense of loss will stimulate emotional overeating. Elders promise themselves, just this once they will indulge. After all, Thanksgiving Day is special occasion. At least food is a fine distraction from feelings of loneliness or a lack of involvement. Indeed, as headlines howl, Isolated Americans try to connect . . . not with Mom, Pop, and siblings, with all the other more welcome traditions.
A time to party, to perform, to watch football, to prove to ourselves that we are [authentically] close to others, and to pretend. Thanks for the distractions.
Those that wish to act in the spirit of the national holiday can also take refuge. After all, the intent of the celebration is good. Community Service acts of kindness can be even better. A Christmas Gift Drive, Homeless Shelters and Soup Kitchens, helping the elderly, animals, and others in need can never be wrong. However, even when engaged in an honorable pursuit, so many say they feel alone in the crowd. The sensation can be as it is in a home full of holiday lore and little love. Grateful? For what?
Thanksgiving Day, and more so the day after, illustrate an American truth. "People are increasingly busy," said Margaret Gibbs, a psychologist at Fairleigh Dickinson University. "We've become a society where we expect things instantly, and don't spend the time it takes to have real intimacy with another person."
Author, and Clinical Psychologist, Madeline Levine reflects on what she sees in her practice. As recounted in a Washington Post article, the mother of three observes; over-involved parents who pressure their children to be stars -- in school, on athletic fields, among their peers -- have created a generation that is "extremely unhappy, disconnected and passive." Immodestly materialistic and indifferent to worldly affairs, young persons, from an early age on are both bored and "often boring," writes Psychologist Levine.
When the apathetic, acquisitive find themselves lost and without a cause, they do what is familiar. People shop until they drop.. Much to the delight of retailers, the parents and their children shop. Bye-bye forced family togetherness. Hello , buy, buy, buy. Thanks for the gifts.
Purveyors are happiest whence the Thanksgiving holiday arrives. During these November and December days, people rush to the stores with a greater sense of purpose. The Friday after the traditional Thursday celebration begins their best time of year. People purchase presents to give to one and all. It seems that love is in the air from late November until the New Year. In truth, even when individuals meet with family or friends in the winter, when they mix, and mingle in the spirit of gratitude, few feel connected.
Indeed, Americans express a sense of separation.. It is no wonder we hope a holiday will console us, help us feel connected.
Yet, as John Powell, a Psychologist at the University of Illinois Counseling Center, states "The frequency of contact and volume of contact does not necessarily translate into the quality of contact." The observer of social behavior understands; most persons, young or old, do what is comfortable, even if that means stay a safe distance apart from the persons he or she most wants in their lives.
Thus on this Thanksgiving Day, it may be important to reflect on all the hours before and after. Lynn Smith-Lovin, a Duke University Sociologist offers, "We know theseclose ties are what people depend on in bad times. "We're not saying people are completely isolated. They may have 600 friends on Facebook.com [a popular networking Web site] and e-mail 25 people a day, but they are not discussing matters that are personally important." Nor are these persons, when home, engaged in conversations that communicate much.
Possibly, parents and children can find more personal ways to establish and then retain a reciprocally reverent relationship. On this day of thanks, and the eve of Black Friday people may ponder; food, fun with those we barely know, and material finds are not golden.
Psychologist Madeline Levine, Author of The Price of Privilege" proclaims advantages are not always as they appear to be. Affluence does not breed brotherly alliances. Nor does money beget benevolence. Children do not connect to cash givers. Possessions may not leave a loved one proud. Moms and Dads cannot bequeath material goods and hope to receive emotional gifts in return. However . .
There are several thing parents can do: Families should eat dinner together [and truly talk] as much as possible, and kids should be involved in rituals -- at church, the synagogue, at Meals on Wheels or wherever.Parents need to impose consistent discipline, which will help kids develop self-control, which is vital.
Kids should never, ever, be paid for grades. Real learning is about effort and improvement, not performance. Your kid's C actually may be the far greater achievement than the A that comes easily.
And they should have chores. A lot of kids I see don't have to do anything except shine. And if you turn out kids who aren't expected to do anything but shine, you turn out narcissistic or self-centered kids. As one girl I see told me, "If I'm so special, why do I have to clear the table?"
Ah, the mundane deeds can be so divine. Everyday errands and exchanges can build character and give birth to a quality bond. On any date we can choose to be more open and honest in our interactions.
Thanksgiving Day and the holiday season are a good time to slow down, chat, and pay homage to the humanity that resides within your home. With relatives near or far, everyday deference would be even better. It is never too late to learn how to relate, to change habits, and to bring into being the tenderness that might not have existed in the early years. Expressions of gratitude and kindheartedness have no season, and need no reason. Thankful. Hopefully that is what each of us might feel. Beginning today, we can chose to consciously create togetherness from birth, in childhood, as adults, and always.
References and relationships . . .
- Tension common in parent-child relationships. Live Science. MSNBC. May 7, 2009
- Gene-Environment Interplay and the Origins of Individual Differences in Behavior, Frances A. Champagne and Rahia Mashoodh. Columbia University. Association for Psychological Science Volume 18-Number 3. Copyright 2009
- More Parent-Child Quality Time? Thank Harvard, BV Catherine Rampell. The New York Times. August 26, 2009, 2:25 PM
- That Parent-Child Conversation Is Becoming Instant, and Online, John Schwartz. The New York Times. January 3, 2004
- Fathers Gain Respect From Experts (and Mothers), By Laurie Tarkan. The New York Times. November 3, 2009
- When parents are too hands-on, By Stephanie Dunnewind. The Seattle Times. September 4, 2004
- I'm dreaming of a right-size Christmas, By Carolyn Butler. Washington Post. Monday, November 23, 2009 3:44 PM
- stimulate Mindful Emotional Eating: Leveraging More Coping per Calorie, By Pavel G. Somov PH.D. Psych Central. November 24, 2009
- Community Service Projects for Kids,Youth,& Families. Families With Purpose.
- Isolated Americans trying to connect. The Associated Press. USA Today. August 5, 2006
- Social Isolation Growing in U.S., Study Says, The Number of People Who Say They Have No One to Confide In Has Risen. By Shankar Vedantam. Washington Post. Friday, June 23, 2006
- Parents create 'disconnected' generation." UPI NewsTrack. 2006. Retrieved November 01, 2009 from accessmylibrary
- National Young Readers Week November 9 through the 13, 2009.
Posted by Betsy L. Angert on November 26, 2009 at 01:00 AM in "Take me as I am!", Adult Influence on Children, American Dream, American Family, Americana, Approval or Love, Art of Loving, Have or Be, Children, Communities and Communication , Daily Distress, Dreams Live and Die , Education or Economics, Emotional Decisions, Emotional Intelligence, Empathy and Evolution, Family, Functioning, Fables, Fear, Health, Human Nature, Isolation. Insulation. , Looking at Life, Looking for Love, Over-Scheduling, Quality of Life | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
What Pulls Us Apart
copyright © 2008 Betsy L. Angert. BeThink.org
It was a cool Fall evening in South Florida. The breeze was gentle; the sunset glorious. As I approached the intersection where, each weekend I stand in support of peace and tranquility, I did as I do when at this crossroad. I placed my arm out the window. My digits were extended and formed the symbol associated with serenity. When I am in a vehicle, at the locale commonly considered the Peace Corner I work to preserve the intent of my Saturday mission. I strive to advance awareness for the notion, this nation remains at war. Soldiers are slaughtered far from the shores of home sweet home. Civilians, in their native country continue to lose their lives for a want of war. I crave global harmony and will work to restore some sense of civility worldwide. However, as I sat silently in contemplation cries of "Country First" startled me.
The divisiveness that has become pervasive during this political season smacked me in the face. Shaken, I turned to see where the words of contempt might have come from. There they stood, two young boys, perhaps eleven years of age stood on the sidewalk with homemade signs in hand. "McCain Palin" was painted on a poster. Smaller type, difficult to read from even a short distance, said more. I might pretend to portend what the words were meant to communicate. However, I rather not assume. I can only describe what was said and done as the seconds on the street turned into minutes.
As others had done when they passed me with my peaceful placard for oh so many years, I expressed my belief in a manner that might be visible to these youthful demonstrators. I reached for my Obama sign, which is neatly tucked between my windshield and the dashboard. I held the glossy rectangular navy blue sticker up, my arm stretched beyond the side of the automobile. The near Middle School age gents immediately saw my marker and exclaimed. "He is a Muslim!"
I calmly cried, "No, he is not. Barack Obama is a Christian." "However," I continued, even if he were as you seem to believe, why would that matter?" " Do you really wish to be intolerant of other religions?" "What of our rights as afforded by the United States Constitution?" Perhaps as one who taught Junior High School students for so long, an invitation to discuss seemed ideal to me. These young people, not familiar with me, and my love of open and reverent conversations were intent on repeating the rhetoric they likely heard in their homes.
I could not help but wonder would the words Communist, Socialist, or terrorist, pass through the lips of these lads. Might one boy or the other tell me as drivers had days ago when I stood on the corner in vigil for peace, "Barack Obama is Black"? My mind raced as I reflected upon the two chaps. I realized the issues important to them were those the elders they loved had discussed at length. Human as the young men were they knew what they knew. The adolescents were taught to think as the adults important in their lives did. We all do, at least initially.
I remembered a tale I frequently told pupils in the past. In my own life, I later understood, when I was young I was unaware of the infinite options and opportunities to think, say, do, and feel, in ways that were uncommon in my family. I could not imagine what was novel to me. If questioned I would defend my beliefs; however, unlike these preteens I did not dismiss a request for thoughtfulness. A want for greater wisdom was instilled in me from the first. I learned to desire discussions. Fury in my family seemed a futile emotion. It brought more wrath and offered little promise for peace.
However, my relatives did not raise these miniature men. Perhaps that explains why the pair of youthful McCain/Palin supporters began to rant and rage. They chided me for the size of my sign. The littler than full-grown lads laughed as they pointed to a banner firmly planted, permanently into the ground. Behind them was a monstrous sign, perhaps eight-feet wide and six feet high. The words McCain Palin stood strident for all passer-bys to see. On a background, so dark as to appear near black, the white letters screamed support for the Republican ticket.
The boys shrieked; "I cannot even see your sign." "It is so small," the two shouted. I did not react. The language the boys used morphed into a lexicon I will not utter, even when distressed. After moments when I avoided actual engagement; although I did not put my Obama sign down, I decided to speak again. "Love and peace," I proclaimed. I was quickly told there would be none of that. A slew of statements not to be repeated spewed from the mouths of babes. I was stunned, not by the venom but by the similarities and contrast.
While I waited for the light to turn green, I found myself lost in reveries.
As a child, also at the age of eleven or possibly twelve, I first began on my path as an activist, an advocate for people, regardless of race, color, creed, or religion. My civic maturity was intellectually realized through acceptance. I was taught not merely to tolerate others; I learned to embrace all. Amongst my lessons, diversity is as significantly wondrous as similarities. These were our family values. More importantly, the skill that was honed in my parents' home was listening.
My Mom and Dad helped me to understand that if I chose to hear what another believed, I could grow wiser. Together, communities are greater when the commonweal is the central concern. Fundamentally, my family believed, all individuals believe in love and goodness. "All men [and women, children too] are created equal.
Perhaps that is why, while in Middle School my family participated in a civil rights march. I was invited to join them. Years earlier, at the age of five, I became interested in politics. As my parents engaged in the most animated discussion I had ever witnessed, I learned of elections.
I grew aware of the emotional impact an economic issues and the impact these could have on a vote. Education, the environment, war, and peace all played a part in ballot decisions. At the kitchen table, as I sat and listened to the lively talk on topics that related to every aspect of life, I realized the power of everyday people. All Americans who vote shape our society. I also understood that those to little to cast a ballot had influence.
Mothers and fathers often jest, "My children learn what I never did." Proud papas revel in the knowledge a son or daughter shares. Modest Mamas marvel when their offspring offer informed opinions. In my youth, I may not have realized the words I uttered as a student enrolled in school were of interest to my Mom and Dad. What I saw and felt taught them. As I talked aloud, my parents learned. We chatted. The child was a mentor. Caregivers were counselors. Each gained and received a greater education from the other.
The difference between my experience and what I witnessed at the intersection was in my family, peace was promoted. A reciprocal reverence was advanced. A word such as "Muslim," a person's religion, was not considered a source for a slight.
I was not encouraged to slam or damn another being, not one who stood before me, or one who wished to serve the public. Indeed, behavior than might demean or dismiss another being was sincerely discouraged.
As a child, I was taught to believe competitive temperaments are counter productive. Characteristics that could be classified as cutthroat were considered childish, aggressive, and contrary to the traits that might create peace. Calmness was considered the pinnacle path. In my family, communication was thought to be the greatest travel, that is, next to thinking.
Even in election season, I learned at the knees of Mommy and Daddy; empathy is the best educator. I wondered. What had these young men experienced in their homes?
Would their mothers and fathers be pleased as they heard their brood proclaim prejudice statements from the pavement, "Barack Obama is a Muslim." Might the Moms or Dads of these chaps be indignant at the discordant idea of "Country First?" Would they rather the children cry in concord, "We, the people, are the change we can believe in." Likely not. Progeny are the products of parents.
If we teach the children to chastise, they will. Offspring trained to offend others do. Those tutored to act defensively often deliver dubious dictums. Fear fills the spirits of those who were not treated with abundant respect. Apprehension is frequently expressed as anger.
Concerned communication gives birth to calm and care. If we edify praise, as well as unity and peace, our offspring will practice kindheartedness. When mothers and fathers teach attentiveness and acceptance, the children will acquire comparable customs. Elders who choose to listen and learn from and with their progeny teach little ones to do the same.
Perchance what divides our country is not political parties, religious practices, color, or creed. What fractures America is the manner in which we parent our children.
Posted by Betsy L. Angert on October 20, 2008 at 09:00 PM in Adult Influence on Children, Americana, Children, Communities, Communities and Communication , Compassion, Conflict, Complex, Elections, Empathy and Evolution, Family, Functioning, Fables, Fear | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
The Lesson; All Beings Are a Beautiful Bundle of Love
copyright © 2008 Betsy L. Angert. BeThink.org
The day was delightful. The water was superb. The sun was full and bright. A few billowy, puffy clouds floated through the sky. They were white, cumulus, fluffy fellows, the type that excite many a child as they gaze into the heavens. In parks, on lawns, little ones were likely looking up and pointing. "Look," they might say, "It is a horse, a donkey, or perchance a unicorn." It was a day for whimsy. The children, playful in the pool, barely noticed the graceful shapes as they danced above their heads. Instead, they were focused on what they decided were June bugs.
Three young sweet girls stood in the warm water near their Daddy. All were calm, content, and serene. The sisters chatted easily. Father smiled. The youngest lass expressed her curiosity. As her sibling searched for bugs on the plastic rope line, the "baby" in the family asked of the insects. "Are they icky to touch," the cautious curly haired youngster inquired. The more confident elder sister said, "No! They are cute," she said. See." The "older" child showed the girl of fewer years.
A stranger, in the adjacent lane was preparing to swim. Becky was her name. She was much older than the children, and perhaps no wiser; nonetheless, she share her assessment of the beetle. Becky said of the six-legged lovelies, "They are life; all creatures are beautiful." With that thought, the father beamed, and the older lady plunged head first into the water filled cement reservoir.
Lap after lap and look after look the woman and children enjoyed the quiet of the day. The words the swimmer shared seemed to hang in the air. People came and went, throughout the afternoon, and splendor was all anyone saw.
Then, everything changed. The evolution from tranquil to trauma was slow; nonetheless, unexpected. Those in the recreation park were struck, as if by a bolt of lightening. However, unlike when a storm threatens, swimmers were not forced to leave the pool. The jolt evoked more silence. No one screamed, but the sole boy, victim to the method his Mom's adopted for instruction.
The young mother, a woman, perhaps, in her early thirties, was extremely pleasant in appearance, and it seemed her personality was equally delightful. She, Madison, entered the deck area with her small son in her arms. Skin, beautifully tanned, this well-dress lady strode to the lifeguard tower. The little guy, let us call him, Michael, was not as bronze in color, and was visibly agitated. Michael whimpered, even as his Mom held him close.
Becky, the swimmer who enjoyed the company of the little lasses and their Dad before she began her exercise had just finished the more strenuous part of her routine when the mother and child came into view. Becky, a teacher, enjoyed children, in or outside the classroom. She marveled at the openness of a mind not yet crushed by the weight of worry. The sincerity of a small one was a source of fascination for Becky. Children, early in life, were candid and joyous, at least most were, or appeared to be.
Little Michael, a lad, maybe three, or four, was not a cheerful child. He wore no glee on his face, although his features were cute as could be from what Becky was able to see. When the swimmer first noticed Madison and Michael, they were yards away. They approached the guard tower at the opposite end of the pool and spoke with Brianna, the young adult hired to protect the public in an emergency. Becky thought nothing of the interaction. She was relieved to have only her stretches left to complete. Becky moved the shallow end and commenced with another ritual.
Behind her, a metal chair scraped along the concrete. The sound startled her and she looked up at the area where people sat enjoying the sun. Had Becky waited just a moment she would have known Michael and Madison had moved closer to her. The cries filled the air. The sweet little boy shrieked, "I wanna go see Daddy." Michael howled; "No Mom!!!! No!" His face scrunched tightly, this little lovable fellow yelled, "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Please Mom! No!" Michael repeated the words, "I wanna go see Daddy!"
His mother chided him, gently. "We have to do this." Madison did not seem to believe she could quiet her son's fears. An expectation that the little guy might enjoy was void from her voice. The Mom simply worked feverishly, to accomplish the dreaded task. She prepared Michael for his dip in the water, and said, "Let's just get this over with."
Becky continued with her work out and wondered of the circumstances. Perchance, the mother and father were divorced or newly separated. Michael may have expressed the deep distress he felt for a family no longer united. Becky, the daughter of parents who parted understood how stressful such a situation might be. She was eight when . . . her reverie was interrupted.
Madison had abruptly carried Michael to the step at the shallow end of the pool. The Mom now wore a white shirt over her own bathing suit. Sweetly, she smiled and leaned forward. Madison said to Becky, "I do not wish to disturb you. I want to warn you; I am teaching my son to swim and he screams, loudly." As an experienced educator, Becky imagined it would be a mild and momentary shout. As one who swims daily and had for well over a decade, the teacher witnessed many a young child learn to paddle and breathe in water.
Indeed, at this very facility she has observed perhaps hundreds of child learn to master their strokes. The excellent swim teachers, parents and paid professionals, helped calm many a neophyte nerve. Often Becky watched with admiration as patient Moms, Dads, and lifeguards helped little ones wade through the water. It was as she shared with the girls earlier in the day, "They, people and insects, are life. All creatures are beautiful."
What Becky witnessed next was not beautiful; it was brutal! Madison held Michaels arms tightly. She forced him into the water. The Mom insisted the boy's head remain face down immersed until she pulled him up. Apparently, they had practiced this cycle before. Becky now understood why Michael cringed and cried out long before he was ever near the expansive liquid sea.
Initially, the trained instructor was paralyzed. Becky could not imagine that a mother might torment her child. The volume of Michaels screams increased. His little arms flailed. "Mom, No! Pleassssssssse!" The emotional agony he felt was palpable. Mom did not stop as he pleaded. The pain on his face did not move Madison to succumb. His words, his anguish, nothing stopped this mother on her quest. For Becky, what must have been a minute or less seemed like hours, years, decades. She thought of sweet obedient Michael. While he shed many a tear and shrieked when he could gasp for air, the little love did as he was told or required to do. He dropped his head into the pool on demand.
Off into the distance, in the parking lot, just outside the fence, Becky noticed a late model shiny black vehicle. The man at the wheel peered in. His car was not situated in a space meant for stopping. This fellow seemed interested in the antics of Madison and Michael. Becky mused; possibly the sound of suffering haunted him as it did her. She could not stand by a moment longer.
With an earnest concern, Becky expressed her empathy for the child. She inquired; "Is he frightened.." The mother responded, "He can swim." Becky queried aloud, had the mother sought other means for instruction. Perchance, if Michael were given the opportunity to slowly adjust to the water. If he were allowed to breathe easily as he slowly learned to stoke . . . Becky's words were cut off. Still somewhat genteel and reserved, Madison explained, "This is what his teacher taught me to do." "She is excellent. Everyone goes to her. They call her the swim Nazi."
The practiced swimmer, and professional educator, shared her own expertise. Becky told of a time when she worked with another teacher who was extremely punitive. This castigatory colleague was an award winner. Some children loved her, parents too. Students taught Becky what she had not known; if you are raised in a family where cruelty is common, you learn to believe that rough treatment is love. Violence is fondness when a family is familiar with vicious behavior.
Becky spoke of a man she loves. He was introduced to swimming in much the way Michael was guided. This man loathes his parents. As an adult, he says of himself, he is really messed up. For the man Becky cares for, trust is not an option. The lesson he learned at the hands of his mother, who taught him how to swim, just as Madison now advised Michael, is that people will hurt you.
In this very short and quick conversation Becky, recalled her own memories, and how she has vivid recollections of events in that occurred in her life when she was younger than Michael. Becky looked over at Michael's face. The torment was already etched into his skin. The screeches scarred him.
Madison listened, maybe. She was polite. The Mom never let go of her cherished son, Michael. The activity did not stop. Nor did the blood curdling screams. The echoes of pain continued to pierce the air, and break delicate decorum.
People within the recreation center while startled, they stood still or pretended to ignore what escaped no one. Only Becky articulated her concern. Madison expressed her interest; more so once she realized Becky is an educator. However, without a moment of hesitation, or a break from or for Michael, she offered a retort. "I will speak with the teacher." Becky again offered, the teacher does what she thinks is best. Perhaps, she, just as the pupils Becky spoke of, had parents who were as aggressive as she was.
Those who admire the techniques the Nazi swim teacher endorses may also be intimately acquainted with instruction through intimidation. "In my family no one yells," Becky said. Madison responded; the same was true in her life. She and her husband do not scream.
Michael continues to squeal. "Mom, Please, No!" He thrashes. He grabs for her mother. Michael reaches for Madison's shirt and slaps her body and face. The Mom had mentioned she wore the blouse just for this purpose. Michael grabbed at the swim instructor, just as prescribed, and when with her, Michael clawed for Madison's clothing.
His moves do not seem to suggest an intention to hurt the mother Michael loves. From appearances, the boy only hopes to find a source of solace. He wants to hold on to someone, anyone. His words seem to express a desire that his Mom will save him from her. The child cries out again and again. He flaps; he flounders. Little lovable Michael thrashes and struggles. Madison was not discouraged.
Still alert and attentive to her purpose, Madison proclaims, "The swim teacher has them trained within a week." Once more, she says, "Everyone goes to her." She may have sensed or seen Becky's alarm. Apprehensive, the mother said, "I will speak to my husband. He is in the car."
Becky realized the man who she had observed earlier might have studied the pair with an interest that could not be described. Possibly, what the father felt was beyond words. Becky knew that emotionally, this event tugged at her heartstrings. She wondered; did the Dad wait for he too could not endure the misery inflicted on his son. How could a mother be so cruel? How could anyone treat a child with such contempt? Why were words of compassion and caution not enough to stop the abuse? Was Becky alone in her anguish?
She exited the pool area, entered the locker room. Then she scrubbed herself in the shower. All the while Becky heard the howls and the hollers. This small sorrowful soul did not rant or rage against his Mom. He only called out for help. Each shout sliced the air and sent chills up Becky's spine. She could hardly contain her own tears.
Becky left the building and again approached Madison, whose energy and purpose had not waned. The worried woman spoke, "If I could I would like to inquire; would it not be better if Michael loved his lessons (and the person who teaches him)?" Did she share the latter thought? She was so troubled, she did not know what she said. Had she asked if it was necessary to master the skill in a week? Madison ignored Becky. She was done with this exchange. She said to Michael, "Just a few more minutes."
Defeated, Becky left the deck. She walked to the office where the guards stood in alert. The group discussed what left each of them distraught. A resigned Brianna verbalized her belief, "There is nothing we can do or say." Shocked to discover Becky spoke to the woman, Brianna began to ask of what was said. Then she realized Madison, with a drained and strained Michael in her arms, was near. She let out a sound that signaled the need for silence.
The mother and her madness quickly fled the premises. After a short discussion with the guards, Becky thanked them for listening to her fears and followed the path from the pool to the parking lot. Apparently, the couple and their child were settling into the coupe. The father glanced over as he saw Becky near the vehicle. Nothing was said. For Becky, there were no words.
She pondered. Was Becky the person now considered a predator? Had Madison grumbled to her husband as she shared details of the encounter? Exhausted and uncertain of the empathy she had supposed all beings had for others, Becky went to her car. She could not drive away, although she saw the family did. The lover of living beings, of children, could not fully understand what existed only for moments in her own life. She was haunted by the hurt she saw in Michael's face and heard in his calls.
Stunned and shaken Becky sat trembling for a very long time. She wailed; she wept. Had she just let a sweet child fend for himself in a world too awful to survive?
Hours passed and Becky imagines, in her life, Michael, and the impression he made on her would never move on. Sadly, she fears, what for her was but minutes, for Michael, will be life.
Becky had mentioned to Madison, or hoped she had, the effect of trauma. To this day, the older educator recounts the stresses that transformed her being. The lessons, what her Mom, Dad, and mentors did supposedly for her benefit, if not facilitated fondly, harmed her deeply. Cognizant that children absorb all they encounter and are affected by every exchange, Becky contemplates the drama Michael endured.
In a desire to calm her self, Becky, an educator who loves to learn, sought answers. She had so many questions, so many concerns. As a teacher, never labeled a dictatorial tyrant, she had much trepidation. What had Madison taught Michael? Was he expected to sink or swim? As she read, her angst increased. What would become of Michael?
How Do You Recognize a Patient (or Person) with Trauma if it is Not Always Obvious?
Different people respond differently to traumatic events. Some people will carry it around in ways that everybody can see that they've been impacted. But most people actually will go through a traumatic experience and won't have any easily visible or obvious manifestation of that. The problems may emerge many months or sometimes even years after the original event. So it's very important for people who are trying to understand trauma to become aware of the various ways in which traumatic symptoms can manifest, the various ways in which trauma can be carried forward by children and adults, and the pervasive impact that trauma has independent of the way someone is observed to perform.How Do Relationships Affect the Way the Brain Develops?
Human beings are at our core, relational creatures. We are designed to live, work, play, and grow in groups. The very nature of humanity arises from relationships. You learn language, you learn social language, you learn appropriate emotional regulation, and essentially everything that's important about life as a human being you learn in context of relationships. And the very substance of a successful individual is bathed in a whole host of relationships with people in that person's life . . .
Can You Continue with the Relationships and How it Affects the Brain
When you look at someone, when you hear someone, when you have a conversation, when you make a joke with somebody, when you touch someone, every single one of those physical interactions are translated into patterned neuronal activity that go into the brain of both people in that interaction and result in positive changes. These physical changes influence our immune system and they influence the autonomic nervous system that controls your heart and your lungs and your gut. Literally, when people have a wealth of relationships, where relationships are present in high quantities and they're of good quality, these individuals are actually physically healthier, they're emotionally healthier, they're more cognitively enriched, and they actually reach their potential to be humane in ways that are impossible without relationships.It's a very interesting thing that people don't really appreciate this very much, but that there's no better biological interaction that you can have than a relationship.
Yes, all beings are but a beautiful bundle of love. Yet, rarely do humans honor that veracity. So few people understand the depth of each interaction. Too frequently, individuals do what was done to them, or what they think they can. Societal standards, customs, traditions, the lessons taught by authoritarian teachers shape them. People learn. Yet, they may not have studied the ultimate lesson. We are each a lovely and fragile beings. We grow well when hearts, minds, bodies, and souls are tenderly touched.
"Michael, I am soooooooo sorry," Becky mused. What of the relationship she had with Michael, or for that matter, with all beings. What affect did her actions or inactions have. Becky though of how all that occurred developed, and how Michael might grow. "If only I had done more, been more, were a better teacher to your Mom, or had offered to help you learn to swim." Becky, heart heavy with regret promised herself, if she were to meet this family again, she would . . . in truth, she did not know what she could or would do. She only hoped that someone would tell her. How does one swim in a world where too many forget, all beings are but a bundle of love.
Sources and Suffering . . .
Posted by Betsy L. Angert on July 6, 2008 at 09:00 AM in "Take me as I am!", Abuse, Adult Influence on Children, Aggression, Approval or Love, Art of Loving, Have or Be, Change the World [Within], Children, Desire to Learn, Dreams Live and Die , Education, Emotional Decisions, Emotional Intelligence, Empathy and Evolution, Family, Functioning, Fables, Life, A Forward Motion, Looking at Life, Nature or Nurture, Quality of Life, Teach The Children | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Calm Communicators Unite Us. Cruel Commanders Divide Us
copyright © 2008 Betsy L. Angert. BeThink.org
Americans are at odds. As a nation, we are splintered. The parts do not function as a whole. Some wish to control and command. Others prefer to work for the common good. As we stand, we are a country divided.
The most recent Internal Revenue Service data, shows one percent of Americans received twenty-one and two-tenths [21.2] percent of all personal income. In 2005, fifty [50] percent of the people in this nation, those who have long struggled to survive, earned twelve and eight-tenths [12.8] percent of all wages and salaries. In the United States, dollars earned split the population. Wealth is not all that separates us.
Color causes schisms. Citizens live in regions of the country labeled Red, or Blue. Brownish immigrants, with or without papers, are relegated to reside in neighborhoods far from the affluent or influential, even when authentic assimilation is meant to be an option. Frequently Black Americans are housed in communities where opportunities are few. When persons of various hues intermingle with the massive pinkish population, in the United States, the people of color are alienated.
Were Americans do physically unite, they would likely remain segregated. Americans subtly separate themselves from those they loathe, and form the people they love. Few ever consider what they do to create a rift. In America, demeanors, the way in which we communicate, divides us.
In this nation, a large portion of the population is frequently aggressive, abusive, and antagonistic. Those they encounter, the not obnoxious or toxic ones, accommodate, appease, appear unaffected, or remain anxious when in the company of the people who believe the best way to appear authoritative is to dictate what needs to be done, by whom, when, where, and why.
At times, the public is able to openly observe and discuss abuse, but usually, only when it is evident in the extreme. Banner headlines may scream a need to attend to what, for the most part remains hidden. Neglect, Abuse Seen in 90, 000 Infants. However, mostly Americans demonstrate their angst in manners identified as normal. No one speaks of what is standard. Perchance, the reason is, in the States reactive behaviors, which reveal annoyance, are so common as to be customary.
Daily, in periodicals we read of what we would wish to think is not traditional, but may be. The accounts scream to us. Citizens in this country think it outrageous when they realize. In Chicago, youth violence is increasingly prevalent. Twenty-two [22] students were slain in this heartland city so far this year. Our fellow country men remark, 'This sort of thing occurs only among 'those people.' Surely, the rest of us are sane and serene. 'The average American would not strike out in such a manner.' People say, 'Weaponry is for outlaws,' or at least, mechanical arsenals are meant only to combat a political enemy. Those who reside in the United States never imagine that "they" would use a gun in anger, or lash out when with a friend. Few consider how frequently they attack those they say they are fond of.
When words are the weapon of choice, and blood is not spilled, most in this country think no harm is done. War and wounds are what we see on the battlefields, and mostly abroad. In this country, life is calm.
We read of skirmishes elsewhere daily. Americans witness what occurs in the Persian Gulf. Iraqi deaths are on the rise regardless of the Americans attempt to Surge and subvert the violence. Now, that is awful. Thankfully, this nation is not torn apart by war.
Few ponder the fact that these excessive examples illustrate and amplify what is apparent in American homes. People pounce easily and often. We cruelly criticize and intentionally drive a wedge between unions. We conquer; and in America, we destroy.
In this country, enemies are thought to be around every corner. We publicly rant and rage when we refer to people of another race or religion. Privately, many are punitive towards those who reside in our homes. When we look upon those the "commanders" consider beloved, we see differences, and ignore similarities. He is wrong; I am right. She is flawed. "I am perfect." Spite is right. Malice is might. Vindictiveness is used to undermine viciousness. In many American homes, tit for tat is the acceptable.
Those in authority, "Tsk, tsk," the ones who they would wish to weaken. Children are infrequently given information about the consequences of their choices. Calm and complete communication is too often a rarity in our abodes. Rather than work to create cohesive communities within a household, parents and their progeny dictate, and divide.
Adults learn their aggressive manners in childhood. A slight from a toddler's first teachers cuts to the core. Terse comments, a tease, or a taunt directed at a teen does not simply slide off the back of one scarred by a lifetime of verbal slashes. Adults do not deflect digs; some have merely learned how to present the appearance of being unaffected by an oral assault. In truth, "Sticks and stone may break my bones, and names hurt me more than a physical attack might." Many may relate to a common event and decide this is not my business.
As I was leaving gym one morning, I overheard a mother berating her daughter for refusing to put her face in the water during a toddlers' swim class. "You're such a little coward," she told the sobbing child -- who could not have been more than three years old. "It's the same every week. You always make your daddy and me ashamed. Sometimes I can't believe you're really my daughter."Although my stomach churned with rage on the child's behalf, I said nothing. After all, I rationalized, the mother would just tell me to mind my own business. But I had no doubt that what I had witnessed was in many ways as bad as a brutal beating. It was emotional child abuse.
"The bruises don't show on the outside, so there are no statistics on how many children are victims," says Dr. Elizabeth Watkins, chief of pediatric primary care at St. Luke's-Roosevelt Hospital Center in New York City. "But anyone who works with children knows that the problem is widespread."
University of Minnesota psychologist Byron Egeland, who has conducted extensive studies on parenting and early-childhood development, says the effects of emotional child abuse may be at least as devastating as those of physical abuse. Research conducted by Egeland and his colleagues suggests that emotionally abused children suffer an even greater decline in mental and psychological development as they grow older than do physically abused children.
This abated state does not necessarily translate to an academic deficit. Often times, persons who were beaten down emotionally excel in their physical and intellectual endeavors. Countless adults, who were verbally assaulted as children, believe that the cruelty and callousness they endured, has made them stronger. People in older bodies show no physical blemishes. A mature member of society is not noticeably bruised or disfigured. Most middle-aged grown-ups, those once exposed to such exploitation have learned to hide the scars. Hurt hearts do not inhibit intellectual growth; nor do the effects of verbal and emotional injuries restrict achievements. As a tot, a teen, or an individual in his or her golden years, a person harmed by words can thrive and triumph. The attitude is, "I will show them!" The thought that provokes our success is, "I will do well. Then, they will [finally] love me."
The truth is mean Mom's and dismissive Dad's do love their offspring. They simply do not know how to show it. Too often, we do as was done to us. As adults, we become the people our parents were. While we may have abhorred mother or father's behavior, it is what we know. We grow to be as those who taught us were.
At birth, we learn of what we despise most. In our parents dwelling, as tots, we become acquainted with insults, invectives, and insolence. The invisible barbs are experienced as a barrage of bullets; each pierces the flesh. Mothers mock us. Fathers jeer. Brothers and sisters, bully. In our earliest years, we begin to think of when and how we can leave the company of those who say they treasure us. In time, as children we decide the best defense is a good offense. Hence, we become equally odious, angry, and ambitious. Often adults, who were verbally abused as children, when they speak of their parents, state, "They did the best they could." Indeed, perfectionist parents do what they believe is best, and they expect their progeny to do better.
In ambitious middle-class families, one of the most common forms of emotional abuse is the denigration of any achievement that falls short of perfection, such as when a child is punished for bringing home a B instead of an A. Jeree Pawl, director of the Infant-Parent Program at San Francisco General Hospital, observes that "perfectionist" parents may display irrational expectations.
After a time, Mom and Dad no longer need to express what they expect; children know what is necessary. In fact, a young person will demand more of him or herself than either parent ever did. In our youth, we become self-critical. Our parents likely did not disparage us as well as we demean ourselves. Each day, we improve. We can deliver venom more vigorously than Mom or Dad ever did. Persons, who were the victims of verbal mistreatment in their youth, inflict the same sarcastic and sardonic on them selves as they age.
The use of hurtful declarations becomes a habit. Spoken stabs pull a person down. Those not stated aloud do us in with greater force. The voice within is perhaps more furious than the one separate from self. Our self-assessments are as a cancerous virus. Merciless messages kill. Yet, no one notices the cause or effects of the illness. Too many Americans share the symptoms; hence, the pain is standard.
Parental verbal abuse may wound children's psyches so deeply that the effects remain apparent in young adulthood. Such abuse may wreak psychological havoc greater than that caused by physical abuse.With an M.B.A. degree under her belt, 24-year-old "Jaime" (not her real name) should have glowing job prospects in Chicago. But she harbors memories that erode her self-confidence and make her bristle with anger—memories of her father shouting at her, during drunken rages, that she was ugly and of little value.
Indeed, verbal abuse during childhood can scar people deeply, a new study suggests. It was headed by Martin Teicher, M.D., Ph.D., director of the Developmental Biopsychiatry Research Program at McLean Hospital, which is affiliated with Harvard Medical School. Results were published in the June American Journal of Psychiatry.Although the injurious effects of child physical and sexual abuse have been the subject of considerable inquiry, not much attention has been paid to the possibly noxious effects of verbal abuse on children.
People attend to what they see. The battered hearts, the wounded souls are not visible to the eye; although the effects of these are apparent if we wish to see them. Researchers studied and discovered what lies just beneath the surface.
People who were verbally abused had 1.6 times as many symptoms of depression and anxiety as those who had not been verbally abused and were twice as likely to have suffered a mood or anxiety disorder over their lifetime, according to psychology Professor Natalie Sachs-Ericsson, the study's lead author."We must try to educate parents about the long-term effects of verbal abuse on their children," Sachs-Ericsson said. "The old saying about sticks and stones was wrong. Names will forever hurt you."
Moms and Dads wield words as weapons daily. An innocent and sweet child may be saddened by what is said to them. Frequently, a lad or a lass, who has come to expect the worse is fretful, frightened, or apprehensive when near those who vocally attack. After a time, a child turned teen, may appear angry, as an adult resigned, acquiescent when with Mom or Dad. Still, the pain seeps out. It spills onto all the injured individual encounters.
The cycle starts subtly. It is all so subterranean. How often is a child told, "You need to take responsibility"? Yet, how frequently does neither guardian seems to accept that they play a part in what occurred in their own lives. After a night on the town, too much food, and an abundance of alcoholic beverages, Dad may bellow, "Stay out of my way today if you know what's good for you." Then, as if to inform his brood, father would offer, "I'm in a bad mood." Daddy does not wish to be liable for his own limitations. Thus, if he was under duress, or hassled, surely, someone else must be to blame.
It is a "me against the world" mentality. Those who command and seek control, the power they did not feel they had in their youth, see themselves as separate from the others. Hence, the great divide.
Mom may be no different from Dad. This sweet, soft-spoken woman, a mother committed to her children often commented, "My life would have been perfect if it were not for you." She would then say, "Get out of my sight; you are a bad boy, a hateful, ungrateful girl." Then, moments later, Mommy would say how much she loved you, or I. Life and love, as a child, and later as an adult can be caustic, chaotic, and troublesome, even if we emerge confidently. Either parent can do the damage. Both can build the barriers that teach one of the brood to be boldly brazen.
Weeks ago, Americans watched an esteemed achiever, a Presidential aspirant, vent wrathful words. The statements made echoed in every American household. On television and radio airwaves we heard, "Shame on you. “It is time you (act in a manner) consistent with your messages in public. That is what I expect from you. (L)et's have a debate about your tactics and your behavior . . ." Only days prior, we, as a nation, were moved by the magnanimous words, "(Y)ou know, no matter what happens in this contest -- and I am honored, I am honored to be here with [the same person who was slammed two days later.] I am absolutely honored." Hours before the homage was delivered in a face-to-face encounter, the self-proclaimed "fighter" raged, she was ready. The person she humiliated after offering a sincere homage was not. Then, in a fit of anger, this eloquent and accomplished adult exclaimed to her audience, "Let's get real."
On an occasion or two, the New York Senator states if she and her adversary worked as one, all dreams would come true. Quickly, Hillary Rodham Clinton reminds us that the same individual who she thinks praiseworthy is incompetent. He cannot command; nor is he qualified. The waling wounded Clinton claims the man who might steal her win is but a "child." She demeans his experience while she exaggerates her own. In a breath, the scared child, now a grown Senator, cries out. The former First Lady, who continues to carry the weight of a world built on pain within her, tells us the man who angers her is eloquent, admirable, and yet, inadequate.
One day this wise woman is passive or polite; then in the next moment she is aggressive and antagonistic. As Hillary Clinton speaks of Uniting the States, creating a cohesive Democratic Party, she works to divide these entities. She loves her country, her challenger, and her community; yet . . .
The push-pull of these love-hate relationships may remind us of what too many of us as children and adults experience in our family homes. In the "United" States, division, derision, declarations that divide a union are natural. Most accept the conventions that have been familiar throughout their lives. Few are disturbed by the divisiveness a Presidential candidate puts forth. Perchance, the American people relate. Might we consider the climate that was the candidate's childhood, her history, and the truth that fashioned her family?
The couple fought. In 1926, Dorothy's father filed for divorce, claiming that his wife had hit him in the face and scratched him on three separate occasions, according to Cook County records. In a March 1927 court hearing, Della Howell's own sister accused her of abusing her husband and abandoning her two daughters."She had a violent temper and flew at him in a rage, and would fight him," testified the sister, Frances Czeslawski.
Della Howell did not show up to contest the divorce -- she could not be found by subpoena servers. Dorothy's father was given custody. But, either unwilling or unable to take care of his daughters, he put them on the train to California, where his parents, Edwin Howell Sr. and Emma Howell, had moved a few years previously. . . .
The grandparents were ill-prepared to raise Dorothy and her sister, Isabelle.
Edwin Howell Sr. had emigrated from Wales. He worked as a machinist in an auto plant and as a laborer for the Alhambra street department, according to Alhambra city directories from the time. He mostly left the girls' care to his wife.
Emma Howell was a strict woman who wore black Victorian dresses and discouraged visitors and parties. Once, discovering that Dorothy had gone trick-or-treating on Halloween, she ordered her confined to her room for a year except for school.
"Her grandmother was a severe and arbitrary disciplinarian who berated her constantly, and her grandfather all but ignored her," Clinton wrote. . .
"Once I asked my mother why she went back to Chicago," Clinton wrote in "Living History." The answer? "'I'd hoped so hard that my mother would love me that I had to take the chance and find out,' she told me. 'When she didn't, I had nowhere else to go.'
Too many of us can recall a time when we wanted to be appreciated, admired, accepted by those who brought us into the world, or taught us to be the best we could be. Even when those we care for harm us, we still crave their adoration. A child who feels less than cherished will try harder. Humans will do whatever they believe they must do in hopes that someday, they will be treasured by their first teachers, the people they call family.
Hillary was the best student among her siblings, the one who took her parents' lessons most seriously. . .Hugh Rodham, unlike many other fathers of his era, raised his daughter to be ambitious. When she brought home straight A's, Rodham would say, "Well, Hillary, that must be an easy school you go to," she [Presidential hopeful, Hillary Clinton] wrote. . .
Hugh Rodham took thrift to even greater heights than many survivors of the Depression. If Hillary, Hugh Jr., or Tony left the cap off the toothpaste, he would toss it out the window and send the child to search for it. An allowance was out of the question. "I feed you, don't I?" she remembers him saying.
Clinton speaks of her father admiringly, but . . . no one disputes his gruffness. "He was character building, like our winters in Chicago," Ebeling, Clinton's best friend, said. . . .
He was "highly opinionated, to put it mildly," [Hillary] Clinton wrote. "We all accommodated his pronouncements . . .
Hilary is as many warriors in society are. She expects the electorate to tolerate her brusque, sometimes demeaning, statements, just as she accepted much of what her father said. If the people wish to argue with the aspirant, as occasionally she did with her dear Dad, Clinton thinks that is fine. After all, she is a fighter. She knows how to win. Just as Hugh Rodham did when he felt his children were uncontrollable, the dictatorial, decidedly aggressive decider known as Dad escalated the argument. "You are with me or against me" is a common refrain among those who command cruelly.
Many progeny adapt to parents who can be punitive. After a time, offspring learn, the boundaries that divide them are best when they remain as invisible, just as the wounds on the heart are. Children convince themselves, they are strong. They are in control. As long as they go along to get along all will be well, and it will be, until the next emotional upheaval. Even then, those who scream and demean will be fine, for what they experience is familiar.
I offer a personal anecdote, one that helped me to understand the divide that exists among us in America. There are the "fighters" well-trained to battle, and the peacemakers, those who talk in tones that are more tranquil.
I realized this only in recent years. A time ago, after I had lived on this glorious green Earth for more than three decades I thought I understood people. I experienced much in my lifetime. As a child, I settled in the suburbs, the city, and the country. In my earliest years may family had all the fineries. We were exceptionally wealthy. Then, there was the divorce. My Mommy, new Daddy a sister, and I were extremely poor when I was in Elementary School. Eventually we evolved into Middle Class. I felt as though we were average.
At seventeen years of age, I declared my independence. I left home, lived on my own, and struggled to earn enough money to survive. I inhabited neighborhoods not thought to be safe. My knowledge of life and it's various styles, I believed was expansive.
Then, it occurred. I met a man. Immediately, I knew I loved him. I had never been easily impressed. Romantic relationships were not part of my repertoire. This person, I perceived as beyond special. I admired him, and I intensely appreciated him. This gentleman was brilliant. He was very successful. He smiled ever so warmly. Until . . . suddenly, he yelled. The wrath was intended for me. As Gary excitedly expressed his disgust, his face was flush. His eyes and veins were bulging. This cherished chap was agitated, accusatory, and exceptionally anxious. To this day, I know not why. I have asked. Yet, an explanation was not forthcoming.
As Gary ranted and raged, I stood frozen, as a deer in headlights. I was stunned. In my whole life, no one had ever yelled at me, or so I thought, previous to that day. There was one other occasion.
That narrative aside, as Gary and I stood face to face, as he screamed and shrieked, he articulated the assertion, "You are having a tantrum." I marveled. I am a calm person. As a child, I was just as serene. In my entire life, I did not recall being explosive. As I observed Gary and listened to his words, I was uncertain which aspect of this encounter was more amazing to me, his conduct, or his contention. After, the damn or dam broke, he seemed free of his agitation. I was anxious, although still silent. I knew not what to say or do. What had I witnessed? What did it mean? How did I feel about it?
In time, I did learn as Hillary Clinton, and others whose hearts are hurt by words, do. I could choose to tolerate the brusque and debasing language. I could choose to appease, to please, or to patronize. However, I also understood no matter what I decided to do, there would be consequences. There would always be a chasm between Gary and I. I would never fully feel comfortable, for I did not know what might bring on another brutal belch of bitterness.
I walked on eggshells, and he, with all his hollering, hoped to secure the impression that he walked on water. I came to discover that Gary had been challenged all his life. His parents were the purveyors of agenda after agenda. As a child he had felt as he now teaches others to feel, as though he was and is less than. Gary was told too often, he was not good enough, smart enough; he was wrong. If Gary received an excellent evaluation in class, he too was meet with the remark similar to the ones the New York Senator heard in her youth. "Well, that subject is just too simple." "An "A" grade is not good enough."
Dissect a heart. Dismember a sweet spirit. It is the American way, divide and conquer. In a competitive society, where cruelty is common, most everyone will suffer, so that the few spoiled souls can feel, even if only for a moment, that they have succeeded. Sadly, their triumph is our demise.
Gary, Hillary, and too many we encounter have become so familiar with belligerent behaviors they no longer think there are other ways to work with people.
I was raised in a family where no one yells. To say I am jarred by loud aggressive rants is to understate what I feel. For a time, I team-taught with an instructor deemed superior. This person won District-wide awards. I understood why when I assessed the curriculum this teacher originated. Yet, this individual chastised students vociferously and with ample abandon. When in a rage, this educator's voice traveled throughout the building. I literally jumped in fright on more than one occasion.
Even without the volume, this teacher's words could cut like a knife. When the venom was directed at me, I froze. I am extremely sensitive to the lexis. The phrases this instructor used were not part of my reality. Our philosophies on life were disparate. Yet, I truly enjoyed this individual when the conversation was amiable. When jovial, the professor was a delight. Indeed, this person often was happy and genuinely fun.
When a scream was heard through the walls, students and I would react. Some smiled. A few laughed nervously. Others and I were startled. We cringed. When the world was again calm, quietly, throughout the room, discussions emerged. The demeanor of this academic was the topic. Talk of the teacher was approached tenderly. As I listened, I learned. If a person grows up in a home where one particular approach to life is normal, they learn to accept and appreciate that manner of expression. People who were taught to expect verbal lashings, as Hillary Clinton noted, learn to accommodate or accept.
If cruel criticisms were common in a home; howls were considered to be a sign, someone cares, painful as that might be. Those never exposed to love that did not hurt could not imagine the possibility. Tis a sad state in this union, when those we treasure most are the ones we whip to a pulp with words. A country divided cannot stand.
Perchance it is time to truly discuss what divides America. Dollars and legal documents are not divisive. Paper does not have the power to pull us apart. Race cannot physically separate us. In nature, every hue is a significant part of the whole. Religion does not cause a rift between neighbors. A philosophy can only teach us. Principles do not reach into our souls and cause us to slice and dice. It is we who control the chaos that drives a wedge between our brethren and we.
Might Americans come together at home and on every avenue? From Wall Street to Main Street let us speak kindly to each other. Let us teach the children well.
Perhaps, it is time to tell those you share a life with that you revere them without reservations. If we choose to use words that consistently show we care for those we love, perhaps, peace will have a chance. If our words were to mirror our stated beliefs, possibly, money would have no power, color could do no harm, and religious principles would be evident in our every expression. Please, imagine and work to give birth to what for too long was thought impossible. Let us live in an America, united in more than name only.
Sources, Scars, Screams in a divided society . . .
Posted by Betsy L. Angert on April 4, 2008 at 08:00 AM in Abuse, Aggression, Americana, Approval or Love, Art of Loving, Have or Be, Children, Compassion, Conflict, Complex, Dreams Live and Die , Emotional Decisions, Emotional Intelligence, Empathy and Evolution, Family, Functioning, Fables | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
School Shootings; Standards Kill Students and Society
The Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development (ASCD). The Whole Child
copyright © 2008 Betsy L. Angert. BeThink.org
School shootings are in the news. Throughout America, adults express concern. Are the children safe when in a classroom. Repeated rounds of ammunition affirm, they are not. Some say times have changed. There seems to be a consensus,; we must secure our campuses, Solutions are standard. Society must protect the young. Few think it possible to prevent another occurrence or attack. Let us examine the whole situation, the whole of our children. Perchance, the problem is not as it appears.
People presumed all was well or hoped it was. Individuals were reassured. It was quiet. However, the silence was broken thrice in recent days. Correction; a forth shooter sprang out before people could take a breath. Three dead in Louisiana campus shooting. Student Shot During Gym at Tennessee School. Student Wounded in Southern California Junior High. Northern Illinois University [NIU] Shootings Stir Sense of Helplessness. Theories abound. Why are school shooting so prevalent?
Some say class size is the cause. As a society, we see the effect of too many students served by too few teachers. No single educator can connect well with each of the tens or hundreds of student they are expected to serve. Experts argue, children are healthier when placed in smaller classes. Judith Kafka, an Assistant Professor of Educational Policy, History, and Leadership at Baruch College, in New York City, writes It’s Guns, Not School Size. Perchance it is neither, either, each, and much more.
Americans recognize there is much to consider. Legislators propose, school employees carry concealed weapons. Some instructors already do.
High school English teacher Shirley Katz insists she needs to take her pistol with her to work because she fears her ex-husband could show up and try to harm her. She's also worried about a Columbine-style attack.
Katz is not alone. Another instructor chose to protect herself regardless of District policies. In a Washington Post editorial the statement is made . . . There are no reliable figures, but it's a safe guess that in many or most of these instances, the guns were owned by the students' parents." This may not always be so. Other pupils' Mom's or Dads may own an arsenal, or a young person may have discovered other connections. Cyberspace can be good source for guns. We cannot be certain. What we do know is, guns kill, and weaponry is easily and infinitely available.
Homicide is the second leading cause of death on the job for workers in the United States after motor vehicle crashes (1). Every week, on average, 20 workers are killed, and 18,000 are assaulted (2). It is only in the last decade, however, that violence against workers has become widely recognized as an occupational health problem.
In a discussion on the topic, of guns in the workplace, Researcher and Co-author of the University of North Carolina Study, Homicide on the Job: Workplace and Community Determinants, Doctor Dana Loomis offered . . .
"[T]here was a nearly seven-fold increase in the risk of a worker being killed in workplaces that allowed guns and other weapons." . . ."We don’t know employers’ reasons for allowing workers to have guns on the job, but the belief that firearms offer protection against crime is obviously a possible motive." . . .
"However, our data suggest that, like residents of households with guns, who are more likely to be victims of homicide, workers in places where the employer allows guns have a greater chance of being killed at work."
As a nation, it is important to realize we are part of a global community. Worldwide guns kill one-thousand people each day. An International Action Network on Small Arms report states, "640 million guns are in circulation across the world and there are enough weapons to equip one in every 10 people." So, while we can argue whether students have access or not, perhaps the more important question is why a child might pick up a revolver. What motivates or frustrates a little one or a young adult to take aim and shoot.
While conjecture continues, authentic answers have been few. Solutions were tried; none were true. In classrooms throughout America, teachers remain on guard. Educators await the moment when a crash will be heard within the classroom. Instructors trust the sound would be more than a book slammed on a desk. Instructors know that a bang in the hallways or a blast from the science lab may not be an innocent incident. Pupils understand this as well. While all may appear playful, pupils seem to be joyful and learning, the troubled few may actually be the majority of the student population. It is difficult to discern who might break first, last, or not at all.
Throughout the nation, educators engage each scholar, or attempt to, within the constraints of the curriculum. Tim, an awkward adolescent, quivered, quaked, grunted, groaned when in the classroom. This active lad moaned, lashed out, and laughed when he worked with his teachers. Tim shook with joy, stumbled clumsily, stood straight, and then flopped to the floor. The strange boy could focus; however, rarely on a prescribed lesson. Educators labeled Tim a failure. Even in "special" sessions, this energetic, enthusiastic young man seemed unable to learn. There was a time when Tim was occupied and eager; however, that passed to quickly.
Elsewhere, an instructor is aware of the student in the front row. This little lass is painfully shy. Emma rarely participates in class. She is plainly submissive. On reflection, the instructor, friends, and family realized they never considered how distressed the girl was. No one thought she would cut herself. Now, they wonder why.
Asa was sometimes rowdy, understandably so. He was starved for love and attention. No matter how or what he tried, he did not receive kindness, only admonishments. Soon Asa settled for scorn. If people showed contempt for him, well, at least they knew he was alive. The fourteen-year old just wanted to be acknowledged. Asa hurt inside. The pain poured out. "He did seem angry. He was always angry in the face but he had no reason." Finally, the teen could hold his hurt no longer. He cried out, "I cannot stand to live this way." Then, he ended it all.
"I thought they were joking. I never took it seriously," she said. The young lads were fascinated by the infamous. A massacre might appeal to those that crave retribution, reprisal, punishment, or some sort of popularity. This form of expression might only be as a shout. We cannot be certain. Perchance, we could inquire. The boys, Bradley, William, and Shawn, might tell us what they feel and why. However, would busy parents, policy wonks, educators and Administrators all of whom are impressed by numbers, choose to listen if they ever dared to ask?
There are times when the opportunity to speak is gone forever. A young boy or girl is taken from us too soon. Countless roam the streets for without a quality education there is little left to do. A few are institutionalized; others are medicated, imprisoned by the despair that overwhelms their minds. Some rather die than endure the pain they feel here on Earth. Sadly, we can no longer invite the girls over for tea. The time to engage with a lovely lad or two will not come again. Heads hang low as neighbors contemplate the loss of another young life to drugs, prescribed and preferred, drink, or death.
Words of woe pass between the people that knew him or her. "She was barely a woman." "He had not yet reached the age of consent. "They took their last breath not long after being born." "One more suicide in a statistical log." "We do not even know her name or his. All we have is the evidence." There are scant clues to inform us; why might a child take their own life?
Suicide affects all youth, but some groups are at higher risk than others. Boys are more likely than girls to die from suicide. Of the reported suicides in the 10 to 24 age group, 82% of the deaths were males and 18% were females.
While the discrepancy seems vast, there is still great cause for alarm. At one time, girls were more likely to attempt the act. Now, they frequently succeed. In September 2007, we learned young women can conceive of, and achieve, what will end a life.
The suicide rate among preteen and young teen girls spiked 76 percent, a disturbing sign that federal health officials say they can't fully explain . . . The biggest increase - about 76 percent - was in the suicide rate for 10- to 14-year-old girls. There were 94 suicides in that age group in 2004, compared to 56 in 2003. The rate is still low, fewer than one per 100,000 population.Suicide rates among older teen girls, those aged 15-19 shot up 32 percent; rates for males in that age group rose 9 percent.
Our children are in pain and Americans ponder how can we protect the young [from themselves or from us.] Each day, parents, and educators look into the face of the future and see what they or we refuse to recognize: anxiety, apprehension, depression, and even a twisted delight for what might be bothersome. Some teens, and yes, even elementary age children have tendencies that, if consciously noticed, would be reason for concern. Yet, there was and is no time for such "petty" pondering.
Moms and Dads are occupied at work. Instructors prepare to teach to the many tests. Administrators assess an agenda that will bring more funds to their schools. Districts implement programs that politicians think wise. Pedagogy is not the principle concern in America; nor are the pupils.
Grades dominate in the grind known as school. Class rankings are recorded for posterity. Test tallies tell the tale of success. Permanent files are kept. A little person will be evaluated on their performance in the classroom, in the community. The good child receives a gold star; the best school is granted gold as well. Cash fills the coffers of an institution that appears accountable. The construct that states, as a society adults must teach to the Whole Child is but a blip in a vast universe of significant interests. Only a few in the field of education follow theories laid out in The Learning Compact Redefined: A Call to Action.
to the playground supervisor, a first baseman;
to the teacher, a learner of arithmetic.
At times, he may be different things to each of these specialists,
but too rarely is he a whole child to any of them.
~ From the 1930 report of the White House Conference on Children and Youth
In our culture, people have priorities. For each of us our main concern is personal. Too often, we forget, our children determine the quality of our future. Parents, Principals, and policy-makers invest in the immediate much to the dismay and degradation of the Seventh Generation and their progeny.
For countless careered Moms, Dads, prominence is far more important than personal passion. Parents do what they can to ensure their child is enrolled in the best schools. They drive hither and yon. After-school lessons are scheduled for every hour of the day. Families grab some food, fast, then they ready for bed. Moms and Dads ask, "Is your homework complete?" Parents do not inquire; "How are you?" "What do you feel?" "May I help?" Mothers and fathers do not ask for the answer does not matter to those who expect children will do as they have always done, grin and bear it. "Don't you dare cry or sigh" is the common contention.
Teachers and Playground Supervisors may not wish to surrender a perceived dominance. Classroom control and an organized playing field are essential if children are to learn or throw a good pitch. For a Doctor, diagnosis is the challenge. Few think of the emotional fractures in a child's life. The visible is far more viable to those with a job to do.
Besides, it seems that the young are resilient. Elders believe that tots do not experience lasting pain, and if they do the offspring will not remember, or be harmed, nor act on the duress they encounter. Children go through phases; nothing is permanent, or so the adults wish to believe.
The smallest persons in society smile. They endure; however, many hurt deeply. Each face tells a unique story. Rarely do we consider the distinctive existence of individual beings. We do not ask of an individual child's experiences, the effects of these, or the emotions each event in a young life evokes. The current curriculum requires accountability; it demands instructors avoid the nuances. What makes a child tick is of little consequence. As long as he or she can perform on a test, that is all that counts.
At times, the system will make allowances for those in need of remedial classes. A child may be defined as "special." Sadly, this determination furthers separates a student from classmates and often from his or her self. Tim was one of these.
Any individual singled out, accepted as standard, or told he or she is superior will react to the identification. Each label has its own externally imposed expectation. Children try to aspire to what they are told they must achieve. They go along to get along, or they resign themselves to defeat. Even those thought to be successful by all in their community frequently feel they fail miserably.
It is no wonder our young people seek solace in drugs, drink, sex, or death. Our offspring, fighting to survive, to soar, to score on a test, or place well on a High School exit or college entrance exam, frequently feel dead inside. Occasionally a child will kill others, or them selves. Most, merely maintain a presence, as did Seung Hui Cho for a time.
Cho graduated from Westfield High School in 2003. But there is no mention of him in that yearbook, not so much as a senior picture. The high school, which opened in 2000, is stocked with high achievers. Newsweek magazine once ranked it among the 50 best public high schools in America.Its football team won the state championship the year Cho graduated. But with 1,600 students then, Cho was the odd boy who never spoke, former classmates recalled. He joined the science club but just sat there. He carried around an instrument that earned him the name "Trombone Boy."
School officials went to some lengths to encourage students to interact. They put round tables in the lunchroom so no one would feel left out. The "Westfield Welcomers" club formed to help wallflowers and outcasts fit in. But none of it seemed to work for the lonely, acne-plagued boy in glasses who was so quiet that some wondered whether he could speak at all.
Some sociologist would say Seung Hui Cho fits the profile of a mass murderer. Were we as a nation prepared to recognize and work with the hurt being in our midst the potential killer, we might have looked at Seung Hui Cho and seen the signs. However, indications implied after the fact, the act, are less obvious when encountered in a moment. Indeed, at times, if not always, the invisible inspires an individual to do as he or she does.
Pain is not painted on a face; nor does a person always scream out when they need help. Most of us are taught to take care ourselves. Yet, few of us know how to do this adequately. Perhaps, those that lash out believe they are doing what they need to do to release the pressure.
In America, little "big boys" learn not to cry. A sweet lass is told to look pretty. Tears are unattractive. In this country, independence is ideal. Adults teach the children not to be too needy. "No one wants to hear your troubles." When asked 'How are you,' answer, 'I am fine.' Then, move on, or pretend to. 'Do not expect too much.' 'Get good grades.' 'Make lots of money.' In a competitive society, that is all that counts.
Some students do as is standard quite well. Steven Kazmierczak did. Steven was an outstanding student. He was engaging, polite, and industrious. The friendly fellow had a bright future in the field of criminal justice. Steve, as he preferred to be called, graduated from college in 2007. The scholar continued his studies in graduate school. Since early adolescence, the lad was intent on helping society. Hence, he majored in sociology as an undergraduate. After he completed his preliminary coursework, Steven went on to pursue a Masters degree in the School of Social Work. This gracious gent had a girlfriend. Steve was anything but a loner, haunted with obvious hurts.
On the Northern Illinois University campus, Steven P. Kazmierczak was considered a gentle, hard-working student, who was honored two years ago with a dean's award for his sociology work. Professors who taught him said it was hard to imagine he was the same person authorities identified as the gunman in Thursday's classroom shootings."I knew Steve both as an undergraduate and as a graduate student. I have had him in my home. I knew him as a warm, sensitive, very bright student," said Professor Kristen Myers in an e-mail. "I never would believe that he could do this. I know that when these horrible things happen, everyone searches for roots to explain it. Here, I'm afraid I don't have any."
Steven Kazmierczak was an excellent student. A former classmate called Kazmierczak "probably the best student in the class." Another student spoke of how helpful Steven was. Stephanie Delhotal, 22, a former sociology undergraduate student said Kazmierczak worked as a teaching assistant in her statistics lab only a year prior.
"I learned most of what I knew from him," said Delhotal. Stephanie Delhotal, who is now a professional Social Worker, offered, "He was very nice and very friendly . . . he was so into statistics. I just took him to be a computer nerd."
Delhotal did not know him before the course, but saw him in the lab as many as three times a week during the semester, she said. "I was completely shocked. I just keep thinking back about how easy he was to talk to," she said. "He had a dry sense of humor."
However, humor and academic achievement do not necessarily bring joy. Instruction that focuses on formulas, figures, facts, and scientific findings do little to give rise to a healthy human being, and perhaps that is the problem yet to be broached in the classroom, or even in our homes. In educational institutions, instructors are required to attend to the parts. Teachers and Administrators address perceive accountability. As a nation, we ignore the whole. Countrywide, we do not ask who a child might be.
learn from the learner; put yourself in his place so that you may understand
. . . what he learns and the way he understands it.
~ Soren Kierkegaard
For the most part, curriculums are designed to pour information into a pupil, as though a human being were an empty vessel ready to fill. If we are to truly educate our progeny, we must redefine instruction. We need to create a culture that helps children to authentically acquire knowledge, not grades.
The Learning Compact Redefined: A Call to Action attempts to do this.
- Each student enters school healthy and learns about and practices a healthy lifestyle.
- Each student learns in an intellectually challenging environment that is physically and emotionally safe for students and adults.
- Each student is actively engaged in learning and is connected to the school and broader community.
- Each student has access to personalized learning and is supported by qualified, caring adults.
- Each graduate is challenged by a well-balanced curriculum and is prepared for success in college or further study and for employment in a global environment.
This promise is contrary to the current standard initiated with the advent and implementation of No Child Left Behind. On paper, at first blush, the newer educational program appears sound. The policy advances practices and philosophies that have existed in society for centuries. The populace has long endorsed gentle interpretations of "Spare the rod; spoil the child." Hence, in schools strategies that are thought to serve accountability were easily adopted.
Transforming the Federal Role in Education So That No Child is Left Behind
The Policy
The Administration's education reform agenda is comprised of the following key components . . .
Closing the Achievement Gap:
Accountability and High Standards.
States, school districts, and schools must be accountable for ensuring that all students, including disadvantaged students, meet high academic standards.
'Good, good, that sounds good,' say parents, Principals, and policy makers. All are interested in education and each wants to make certain our children receive quality instruction. High expectations and verification are vital. Administrators must answer for the programs the public pays for. No one can blame the student if the school does not do as deemed necessary. Americans believe we must reward achievement and punish those who fail. As we age, most of us forget, in order to succeed, we must learn from our errors. Most adults avoid the subject of task analysis. In education, many accept the end justifies the means. Teachers are trained to teach to the test. Students are tutored in how to best pass an examination. If perchance, each or either fails, the government mandates, there will be repercussions. One consequence is so subtle it often goes unnoticed.
Dropout rates slowly increase. Low-achievers, in frustration, leave school behind. Thus, the appearance of rising test scores and of a narrowing of the achievement gap is achieved. School ratings increase, authentic education decreases.
A recent
study of Texas public school accountability system, the model for the national No Child Left Behind Act, establishes that, the longer the high stakes testing program are in use, the worse the outcome. Children already made less important than the curriculum by this mandate are further reduced in significance. As could have been expected, instructional personnel begin to view students not as children to educate, but as potential liabilities. A pupil accomplished in test-taking is seen as an asset; high scores raise a school's performance indicators, advance the careers of educators, and help to grow the funds a school receives.
The research also indicates that Principals frequently play with pupils' lives in order to further their professional prominence. A child will not be allowed to advance a grade if he or she is deemed at–risk. If a student's grade on the exam will potentially threaten the schools status, arrangements are made. Most students retained in this manner give up on themselves and on school. Just as educators punish a less than perfect child, the system penalizes a struggling school.
- States must develop a system of sanctions and rewards to hold districts and schools accountable for improving academic achievement. . . .
- Consequences for Schools that Fail to Educate Disadvantaged Students. Schools that fail to make adequate yearly progress for disadvantaged students will first receive assistance, and then come under corrective action if they still fail to make progress.
If schools fail to make adequate yearly progress for three consecutive years, disadvantaged students may use Title I funds to transfer to a higher-performing public or private school, or receive supplemental educational services from a provider of choice.
Therein lies the problem. When an educational institution or a child does not perform "properly," they are punished. Punitive actions so not help better a school or a student. Studies show punitive practices hurt a society or and the instructional staff.
Dear reader, you may recall in your own life the times when you acted in a manner that was considered disruptive, destructive, or without regard for others. If you were confined to your room, restricted from doing what brought you pleasure, ridiculed, or severely reprimanded you may have reacted poorly. Resentment readies an individual for further rebellion. Logic tell us, if a child or an adult is to learn or improve, they must be given an opportunity to reflect. Humans acquire wisdom when others trust the learner can grow. Reciprocal reverence, empathy is the best educator.
However, logic rarely rules when people are reactive. Parent, Principals, and educators are after all, only human. When frustrated with what they fear they cannot control, people of any age penalize those who do not perform as desired. Rebukes realize no rewards.
Why Punishment Does Not Work
The research literature gives clear guidelines about the ineffectiveness of punishment as the only correction procedure for children's misbehavior. Yelling, shaming, scolding, and corporal punishment backfire and create a mind set in the child where he misbehaves more. Some children do worse when words like "never," "don t," "should not," and "It's not okay" are used during correction. There are many negative side effects associated with being punished:
- Punishment for aggression may stop the behavior temporarily, but may further stimulate aggressive behavior.
- The child may stop the punished behavior but may increase another aggressive behavior.
- Punishment may serve as a model for aggression. Children imitate what they see adults do.
- The punished behavior may stop only in the presence of the adult and increase in other settings.
- The child may strike back at the punishing adult or displace his anger at someone else.
- Frequent punishment may cause some children to withdraw and regress.
- Angry children who do not fear authority may become more angry and focus on revenge.
- The child may feel shame and harbor thoughts of lowered self- esteem (I'm a bad person. I'm mean.)
- Punishment merely suppresses the response but does not teach the child what to do.
In the short term, punishment may be effective in suppressing negative behavior when the punisher is present, but it does not teach the child positive ways to act. Punishing techniques that make the child feel bad about himself may make him act out more!
Remember Asa. This child felt besieged, plagued, punished for being the person he was. This young man received ample ridicule. He was constantly punished; his presence alone was enough to bring an onslaught of attacks. Classmates called him Jack Black. The label referred to the vociferous, chubby, long-haired actor in the movie "School of Rock."
Asa could be shrill. His appearance alone might have been classified as a cry for attention. His hair was unkempt. Histrionic accoutrements graced his neck, his nails, and his abdomen. Asa adorned his fingernails with black polish. Around his neck, he wore a dog. A faded rock concert tee-shirt covered his chest. A trench coat completed the composition.
Asa often felt as though he was tormented, teased, taunted, and mocked. The troubled lad felt victim to frequent slights. He believed others belittled him, beguiled him. He was deceived and ill received. Asa Coon felt misunderstood, and he craved as all creatures do, love, not loathing. In frustration, Asa Coon characteristically lashed out. He was not merely a quirky lad; he was quick to anger.
This was the Asa who always seemed to be in fights at school. This was the Asa who slapped around his mother. This was the Asa who talked about suicide.And it was this Asa, authorities say, who walked into SuccessTech Academy Wednesday with a satchel full of guns and ammunition and opened fire on teachers and students. . .
What apparently pushed Asa's troubled young mind over the edge was an argument with classmates about the existence of God. It happened a few days ago in reading class.
Asa said he didn't believe in God and didn't respect God.
Another kid disagreed. . . .
After school, the two kids fought. Asa took a beating. Both were suspended.
"I'm going to get you," he warned his tormentor. "I will get you."
Indeed, he did. Asa attempted to take revenge on those he believed wronged him. A professional, Professor Jack Levin, Northeastern University, Criminology, offered a worthy assessment of the situation. Perhaps, the lesson Americans need to learn is often lost. What truly occurs within our offspring is left behind as our children are today.
There are always missed signals. The problem is that they only become clear after the fact. Hindsight is 20/20, and after somebody shoots a number of people, everybody all of a sudden is a psychologist and recognizes all the warning signs. Now, the problem is that these warning signs beforehand apply to so many youngsters. Many of these shooters hate school or they like Marilyn Manson or they black -- they use Gothic clothing. They're rebellious. The best predictor we have is previous violence, and in this case Asa definitely had that in his background, but my point is this, we ought to be intervening early in the life of a child because he's troubled, not because he's troublesome.
On rare occasions, a child has an opportunity to authentically connect to an adult, a curriculum, life, and lessons that are given and received with love. After Tim met Barbara M. Stock, he became one, among the exceptions. At the time, the two encountered each other, Barbara held a brand new doctorate degree in Psychology and education. The young scholar was proud the knowledge she accumulated. Upon reflection, she states, she was "full of" herself. Shortly after she received her Ph.D., Stock and her husband moved to a small quaint town. Jobs were few, opportunities fragile.
Advised by a receptionist in the Special Education Department of the local school district, Barbara Stock pursued a practical possibility. Perchance, she could find a job within the BRAT program. Curious and anxious to impress, Doctor Stock inquired.
I asked the mothers, “What does BRAT mean?” The mothers gave me how-stupid-are-you looks. “BRAT,” one mother said. “ ‘Brat…’ That’s what the school people call our kids.” It wasn’t an acronym for Behavioral…Remediation …Anything.
As Stock observed the students, she realized her mission. A lone lad came into view. Tim was awkward, assertive, and jubilant, all at once. He was energetic and alien in his approach to life. After a short time, Tim's mother noticed Doctor Stock and her stare. The parent introduced herself to the professional person in her presence. "Mom" whispered to Barbara Stock, Tim was eight years of age and had learned nothing in this half-day program. Tim's mother wanted an afternoon tutor for her son. She hoped that if someone special would invest in her child, one-on-one, the odd boy would excel. There might be hope. Stock pondered the possibility.
Confident I could perform brilliantly, I agreed to tutor Tim. I saw this as a great opportunity: I could use the newest techniques of behavioral reinforcement and multi-sensory stimulation to teach Tim. Then I would write an article or even a book on my achievement. I’d dreamt of one day having my own school; this would give me the credentials. I’d already accumulated all sorts of learning devices—sandpaper letters, Cuisenaire rods, a balance beam. I arranged a child-size table and two chairs in our finished basement and created an inviting “learning space.” I was ready and willing to begin my major project: The Teaching of Tim.
Weeks went by; months moved quickly. Tortured tutor, who loved her young teacher, Tim, Barbara M. Stock, learned what most educators are reluctant to admit.
Tim surprised me. He excelled, though not from any lesson I planned.
Frustrated and bewildered with the accredited approaches that proved futile, Stock embraced what was more real. She engaged the child in a manner that allowed Tim to be Tim.
Gradually, I had to let go of my analytical, intellectual approach. I taught Tim best on his terms, seizing the opportunities he enjoyed and encouraging him to be practical, playful, and protective.Although I’d wanted to give up on Tim many times out of personal frustration, I felt truly sad when I had to say goodbye to him. I had no data, no article, no book to publish. Tim could pay attention longer, express himself better, and manage his frustration more often. But his gains were infinitesimal, impossible to measure. I felt like a total failure.
Tim’s mother and I became friends and to her I confessed my defeat. She saw the situation differently. “He looks forward to seeing you. He smiles,” she said. “With you he’s not a ‘brat.’ These are gifts beyond measure.”
As we said goodbye, Tim hugged me. His mother laughed out loud. “That’s a first, and probably not listed on any test.”
Tim's Mom was sensitive to the whole of her child. She observed his trials and tribulations with great care. The concerned parent [or teacher] can recognize triumphs. Tests do not.
Barbara M. Stock with all her prominence, prestige, and post-graduate expertise was helped to understand what typically remains undetected. Erudition is not necessarily visible to those who know not what they see.
Indeed, the manner in which each of us internalizes instruction differs. We need only consider Emma, Asa, Bradley, William, Shawn, Tim, or ourselves to realize one size, one test, cannot fit all. Standardize assessments do not allow for nuance. Pedagogical practices, no matter how philosophically profound, may not be as effective as "real" life lessons are. When individuals, teacher and student, parent and pupil, administrators and instructors, interact with authenticity, each senses they are accepted and admired. People learn when they treasure the tutorial.
Empathy is the best educator. Punishment or mechanical methodology, presumed to be a practical, do not reward a spirit starved for insights. Meaningful and appreciative acknowledgements nurture a mind, heart, body, and soul. A healthy child is whole. His or her education is balanced. When a child is reactive, a distraction, or destructive, elders must acknowledge the little one is pleading for assistance. 'Teach me,' he or she shouts. If adults are to abet, they must realize penalties alienate. Praise produces desirable results.
What Does Work
The research shows that praise for appropriate behavior, reasoning, giving consequences, withholding privileges, time out and teaching the appropriate social skills do help a frustrated child make better behavioral choices.The child who misbehaves constantly needs to hear correction statements phrased in positive language to implant alternative ways of thinking and acting in his developing value system. Telling the child with behavior problems what not to do often guarantees that he will go and do it! Instead, tell him what to do and help him to feel good just thinking about acting in positive ways. Give a choice between two alternatives.
Teaching social skills gives a process of correcting the inappropriate behavior instead of suppressing it through punishment. Social skills training offers a more humane way of giving children tools to deal with conflict so that they can take care of themselves. Learning social skills helps children reduce aggressive and violent behavior. Teaching the prosocial skills helps all of us. When children learn and use positive reciprocal ways of interacting with each other, this adds to peace in our world.
Processing Cues To Say After Conflict What you say to an aggressive child will determine the likelihood of his decreasing the inappropriate behavior the next time. To break into the child's negative thinking patterns, process what happened and what could be different next time in a non- threatening way. The research shows that people are most ripe for change after a situation of high emotional arousal. Being corrected is generally a high arousal situation so the child should be ripe for new learning. You have a golden opportunity to help your child make the commitment to change by using this teaching approach.If you can get to the child's vulnerability and sense of fair play after a situation of conflict, you can help him make changes. Show the child the consequences of his actions on others. Whenever possible, give him a choice. Ask him to make a value judgment on what he did. Give him solid information on how he could react in positive ways. Always leave him feeling good about himself with hope for the future.
Few of the questions posed on examinations reward a learner. Results are not immediate. What a child is asked to assesses is often not real or personally relevant to a young person. In America today, on tests, in the classroom, and even in some homes, children are not required to think critically. Nor are they given the opportunity to imagine, innovate, or invent. Conventional wisdom dominates the curriculum, and students fall further and further behind. Sadly, we often look at our best students and see automatons. However, they are more.
who does not know or understand himself,
and the only person that he knows is the person he is supposed to be,
whose meaningless chatter has replaced communicative speech,
whose synthetic smile has replaced genuine laughter,
and whose sense of dull despair has taken the place of genuine pain.
Two statements may be said concerning this individual.
One is that he suffers from defects of spontaneity and individuality, which may seem to be incurable.
At the same time it may be said of him,
he does not differ essentially from the millions of the rest of us who walk upon the earth.
~ Erich Fromm [Observer of Humankind, Psychologist and Author]
Might we begin to embrace our children and their sweet souls. Let us no longer scold students when they struggle to grasp the essence of a standard test question. We need not drug those whose attention span is short. Let us, educators, and parents engage each child individually. If perchance, we listen to what the children tell us about them selves, if we see each student as a whole child, we might learn how to best teach them.
~ R. M. Hutchins [American Educator, Author, The University of Utopia and The Learning Society, Board Editor for Encyclopedia Britannica]
Perhaps adults can take a lesson from life. Each of the school shooting show us, our offspring are in pain. Medications will not cure what ails the young. Restrictions placed on guns, or access to other objects, will not make our schools safer. More of the same and stricter standards will only serve to deaden minds that wish to soar. That is the paradox. Americans send their children to school to learn; then they squelch the possibility. May we teach the offspring well and allow them to tell us what they need as a whole child.
~ Joseph Joubert [French Critic]
In this country today, citizens are reminded that Math, Science, and Reading, the basics are essential. Students study so that they might pass tests in these subject areas. Teachers teach techniques that ensure success on examinations. Facts fill the air in American classrooms. Some scholars survive , others hope to die.
In this nation, we forget. There is so much more to life than Math, and more to Algebra than a correct answer. As Mister Kupfer, a High School mentor tells his students, a correct solution does not authenticate that a student understands the process. A problem requires more than a guesstimate, or memorization of a formula. Mathematician Kupfer states, if a pupil cannot work through a problem, twenty years after he or she saw it in class, then they never truly learned how to solve the equation.
Science is not as simple as a law declared absolute. Theories also abound. Curious souls search beyond what they know to be true and discover what is yet to be part of a standard curriculum. A student motivated to think, rather than realize a score on a test, might take a quantum leap. A student, trained to think as a scientist might, will not simply accept a static answer. Analysis is not wrong; it is just not encouraged when the course of study is guided by multiple choice tests.
Reading requires more than regurgitation of the words printed in a booklet. Bubbles darkened in on a page, and preparation for tests do not a satisfy a sincere student. Our children are asking to learn. They crave a caring connection. Let us bring education back into our homes and our schools. May we teach our offspring well and wholly. The youth are our future; may we give them a strong foundation. Research, Reflection, and reverence, these are the three R's, the basics.
~ Albert Einstein
Schools, Standards, Sources . . .
Posted by Betsy L. Angert on February 19, 2008 at 09:00 PM in "Take me as I am!", Americana, Approval or Love, Children, Education, Emotional Decisions, Emotional Intelligence, Failure, Love of Learning, Nature or Nurture, No Child Left Behind, School Days, School Shootings, School Violence, Success. Failure., Teach The Children | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Exit Exams, High School Dropouts; Cause and Effect
copyright © 2007 Betsy L. Angert. BeThink.org
In California, students are crushed by the weight of exit exams. Some feel defeated. After numerous failures on test after test, pupils presume, rather than make another attempt, it is best to just dropout. In 2006, 24,000 high school seniors dropped out, about 10,000 more than just four years earlier.
Nationwide, the number of dropouts is staggering; however, in states that require the ever-popular exit exams the rate rises steadily.
HighSchool Exit Exams Linked to Higher Dropout Rates, Researchers Find
By David GlennSince 1979, a growing number of states have required high school students to pass exit examinations before they can receive diplomas. For nearly as long, scholars and policy makers have debated whether such exams do more harm than good.
Proponents of exit exams say they improve learning and future employment by giving both students and school districts better incentives to succeed. Skeptics say the exams needlessly prevent students who have otherwise completed all their course work from receiving diplomas. They also warn that the exams could prompt some students to drop out of high school as early as the 10th or 11th grade, if they think they will fail the tests.
The latest battleground over the issue is California . . .
Now two teams of scholars have written papers that support the more harm than good thesis. In a recent working paper, Thomas S. Dee, an associate professor of economics at Swarthmore College, and Brian A. Jacob, an assistant professor of public policy at Harvard University, reported that students in states with relatively easy exit exams are roughly 4 percent more likely to drop out of high school than similar students in states with no exams. In states with relatively difficult exit exams, students are 5.5 percent more likely to drop out than their counterparts in states with no exams.
The effects are stronger among African American men, Mr. Dee and Mr. Jacob found. In states with easy exit exams, black male students are 5.2 percent more likely to drop out of high school than their counterparts in states with no exit exams. In states with more rigorous exit exams, they are 7.3 percent more likely to drop out than are their counterparts in states with no exit exams.
Those that struggle to do well yet miss the mark by a point, two, or twenty must not be college material, or so a disheartened adolescent is led to believe. Tens of thousands of distraught pupils give up on themselves just as their elders have done. Young academics that do not measure up on exit exams often conclude they are misfits; they do not seem to fit in a society that demands they meet agreed upon standards, as senseless and biased as these standards might be.
The force of mandated exams looms large over the heads of want-to-be High School graduates. Beginning in the sophomore year, young academics are required to test for graduation. Examinations focus on math, English, and algebra skills. Formulaic solutions are featured. There is no need to think deeply when faced with standardized Scantron™ answer forms. Indeed, if a learner ruminates intensely they may be penalized. Time is of the utmost importance. Those that administer the exam remind test-takers you either know the correct answer or you do not. If uncertain move on. Your overall score matters most.
Critical thought can consume minutes, hours, days, and months. High School curriculums have no time for such an exercise. Analysis is not crucial if a pupil wishes to advance. A learner is considered capable if they are able to choose the correct bubble and completely blacken the circle. Results are recorded for posterity. Granted, pupils have multiple chances to pass the mandated multiple-choice examinations. However, if a student cannot deliver after six attempts, they are done. They have "failed"
Policymakers presume they have given pupils an equal chance. They think it irrelevant that the assessment rarely relates to the life of a student or the lessons received in class. It matters not that individual learning styles are ignored or that a learners language skills are not considered. When the school determines it is apt, a student is placed in a room and told "Perform."
Administrators' demand or command excellence. The date, or the dilemmas that teens cope with daily is not averaged into the grade. What occurred on that day, at that time, in that year, or within the institution are not considered applicable in calculations. When it is convenient for the school, students must achieve.
Reach for the gold star. Grab the brass ring. Success will be yours. Pencils down. Pooh! Failed again.
Confronted with a curriculum that does not meet the needs of the student population, or of a particular pupil, many young scholars are overwhelmed with fear. Apprehension alone is enough to affect achievement. Language barriers also boggle a mind.
For a 16-year-old, Iris Padilla's resume looks pretty good: Not only is she already a senior close to completing all the credits needed to graduate from Richmond High, she's president of a Latin American culture club and is active in political and religious clubs at school. Next year, Iris wants to go to college and study psychology.But Richmond High might not let her graduate this spring.
That's because Iris hasn't passed the exit exam, and she has only one more chance before graduation day to tackle the two-day test, on March 21-22.
Iris is one of 73,270 California high school seniors in the same pickle -- unable to fulfill a new state law requiring students to pass a test of basic English, math, and algebra to graduate. That's 1 in 5 members of the state's Class of 2006, says the state Department of Education.
More than half of those who still need to pass -- 40,002 students -- are like Iris: They don't speak much English.
Iris Padilla is a superior student. Any college would welcome a young woman so dedicated to her education, and to her community. Perchance, in an institution of higher learning faculty and facilitators understand that, typically it takes seven years to acquire fluency in a foreign language. A University may give Iris Padilla the opportunity to truly acquire English language skills. However,, we may never know, for the young woman may not have the chance to apply to one of the many ivory towers, although she has prepared to do so all of her life.
Iris is a disciplined scholar as are most in her precarious situation. The vast majority of teenagers that cannot pass the exit examinations have hopes, dreams, and drive.
Her school day begins at 7:30 a.m. with an exit-exam prep class in math. Then it's on to geometry, economics, computer graphics, world history, and an English-language class. She is passing them all. After school, Iris attends another prep class for the English portion of the test.Her teacher, Isidora Martinez-McAfee, has been teaching English to newcomers in the same classroom for 30 years and has seen most of them graduate, and many go on to college.
"Some have become dentists, hygienists, nurses, psychologists, teachers," said Martinez-McAfee.
But now, she fears, students like Iris will stagnate.
With one month left to go before her final shot at passing the exit exam, Iris still finds an Edna St. Vincent Millay poem on the practice test impenetrable, and word problems in math as clear as Greek.
Does that mean Iris should be barred from walking across the graduation stage with her classmates, or that she should receive an empty envelope when theirs contains a diploma?
State Superintendent Jack O'Connell, who wrote the exit exam law in 1999 while a state senator, calls it "immoral" to award diplomas to students who can't pass the test.
Time, narrowly-focused-dogmatic-dictatorial bureaucrats, and those that profit from the policies these legislators devise are not on the side of students such as Iris. American-born Iris Padilla [and others] is punished upon her return to the homeland. Iris Padilla, for most of her life lived with her Grandmother in Mexico. She came back to her mother's home only months before she shared her story with Journalist Nanette Asimov. Iris may not receive a diploma. Dependant on the District, she too may be defined as a dropout. The dropout crisis is, in many ways, contrived.
To complicate matters, dropout rates do not simply or directly translate to an accurate graduation rate. Multiple methods and definitions can result in what appears to be conflicting information. For example, it is possible to have a low rate of dropout based on event or status calculations, and to have a low rate of graduation as well. The formula and parameters (e.g., age, grade, accountability period) used to determine the rate must be carefully considered and explained . . .
A focus on measuring graduation rates is conceptually linked to recent increased emphasis on the importance of promoting student engagement to enhance school completion. However, due to lack of standardized definitions and methods for computing dropout rates and graduation rates, interpretation must be carefully considered. Until a standard procedure is established and used across districts, states, and national reporting agencies, reports of dropout and graduation rates can be interpreted accurately only when accompanied by explanations of how the numbers were derived.
Rarely are the numbers reflective of what occurs within a school, a District, or a State. While elders stress accountability for students, they, themselves are not held to a rigid standard. It behooves an educational facility to filter out those that lower the ranking. No Child Left Behind laws put Administrators in a position to choose. Punish the student or punish the school. Most prefer to penalize the youngster.
Administrators might justify such an act. After all, America needs an unskilled labor force. Those without a high school diploma can fill those slots. Besides, once out of the system they have one more opportunity to take the exit exam. Thus, there is no reason to worry if students dropout.
If a pupil cannot pass the exam after five tries while enrolled, then financially, it is better for the institution if that student is no longer counted in the final tally. Federal officials will not fund underperforming schools. Sanctions are progressively more punitive each year. Hence, a school benefits when those registered are able to do well on standardized tests.
Affluent parents pour millions into test preparation classes. Online training is also available; however, that too costs money. Some schools also supplement schedules to accommodate students in need of more guidance. This helps those that have access to such assistance. However, sadly many students do not have this luxury.
A young person that receives no one-on-one instruction at home or at school often feels lost and fears stating this aloud. Peers can be cruel. Yet, if parents are absent, away at a one job or another, children are left to fend for themselves. The economically poor child is poorer still. A Mom or Dad working multiple jobs cannot give a child the attention instruction demands. An underprivileged parent is frequently of meager means because they are undereducated. The two characteristics collide and all in close proximity feel the impact.
Based on the most careful calculation of graduation rates and the longest time span, this study concluded that exit exams, and particularly the more difficult exams, did reduce high school completion rates by about 2.1 percentage points. Furthermore, the negative effects of exams were larger in states with high rates of poverty and with more racially and ethically diverse student populations. This conclusion reinforces results from other studies indicating that test score results and passing rates vary substantially by race, ethnicity and income.
Young persons without the tools, left alone at home, must rely on teachers to teach them. Most educators are preoccupied, too many pupils, too many tests. Thus, a frustrated teenager flits and flitters. Angst filters through the mind and body of an eager scholar stressed to the limit. Trepidation coupled with confusion does more than merely aggravate an academic. Aspiring adolescents in California conclude, it is better to give up, dropout, and forfeit a diploma.
California Exit Exam Boosts Dropout Numbers
By Juliet Williams
Associated Press
November 8, 2007Sacramento, Calif. (AP) — The number of California high school dropouts spiked in 2006, the first year seniors were required to pass an exit exam to graduate, according to a report presented Wednesday to the state Board of Education.
The analysis found that 24,000 high school seniors dropped out in 2006, about 10,000 more than just four years earlier.
The information could give ammunition to lawmakers and others who have criticized the exam, as well as those who have lobbied for alternative assessments.
Currently, politicians and policymakers decide how we might evaluate learning. These persons are rarely if ever trained professional teachers. Nor do most recall life as a student. Superintendents, Commissioners, community leaders ignore or forget what they once knew. Intelligence and knowledge are fluid. Statistical calculations are fixed.
A child develops; wisdom expands. Under stress, growth is stunted; intelligence wanes. We struggle to access acumen when placed in a situation that breeds anxiety.
Children learn well when they are not forced fed. So too do adults. Contemplate the myriad of facts you gathered quickly. When a topic was of interest to you personally, you seized the vital statistics with vigor. Consider the data you forgot over the years. Records memorized only to recite back on a test, soon fade from memory.
The wonks may want us to believe that instructors can teach to a test and children will learn. However, when we study, what has no meaning for more than a moment, we internalize little if any of what was placed before us.
Insight is accrued slowly. Erudition is a process. A portfolio of work demonstrates the evolution known as scholarship. Experts in education understand this.
However, in most other regions enlightenment is delayed. Emissaries and executives look on from outside the classroom. They decide what is best for those in schools. When the voices within educational system dissent, the sound they make is often muffled. At times, there is a small victory. Overall, little changes.
Exit Exam Challenged!
POOR Magazine Youth intern who didn't pass the Exit Exam reviews the legal challenges that were recently decided on.
Antonio William/PNN Youth in Media
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
"How can they talk about us standing on corners, using drugs, we are hard-working students trying to get an education," a Latina Richmond High School Student wiped tears from her eyes as she spoke into the corporate media lens. She was speaking outside a school board hearing in April on the California High School Exit Exam (CAHSEE).
Earlier this month two major legal challenges to the CAHSEE were heard and adjudicated on in California courts. The first one: Liliana Valenzuela, et al v. Jack O'Connell, which was fought by attorneys Arturo Gonzalez and Chris Young from Morrison and Foerster on the basis of the educational, due process and equal protection rights afforded to students under the California Constitution. We won this one. Alameda County Judge Robert Freedman decided on Friday May 11th to delay diploma denial for the class of 2006.
When issuing the injunction, Freedman said he was swayed by Gonzalez's argument that low-income of color students, English language learners in particular attend low-performing schools that do not prepare them adequately for the test.
Of the 46,700 seniors who have failed the test, 20,600 are designated as limited English learners and 28,300 are very lo-income. I am one of those 28,300 students.
Progress is slow, be it in learning, or in policy making. We accept and expect adult practices to be measured. As a culture, we believe that change must calculated. The pace need be unhurried and deliberate. However, in the area of education, we want assessments to be completed without delay. The process quick and is dirty. Children are damaged by the experience. Still, the need to be saturated with statistics is honored and gratified.
We have all heard the ancient axiom that discredits educators. It seems the general public, Boards, Judges, and legislators believe anyone can do what most dare not, enter a classroom full of twenty, thirty, or forty unique, excited, expectant young persons and make a significant difference. The accepted adage is, 'Those that cannot teach.' Thus, educators have no power to determine the curriculum. Teachers are trained to oversee tests. That is the way their superiors like it.
Jack O'Connell, superintendent of public instruction, has consistently opposed such an [alternative] option.
Exit exams remain a requisite for High school graduation. The practice is profitable for publishers and other adult professionals, [not for pupils.] Mega millions are spent on improving evaluative systems.
Hidden Costs Present ChallengesThe costs are considerable for a state, as well as individual school districts, to put in place a high school exit exam and help students meet the standards required by the test. For example, it costs Indiana, a state with an exit exam of average difficulty, $557 per student to maintain the state's current level of performance on the exam, according to the Center on Education Policy.
The argument is that if a student is well prepared the cost of remediation will be reduced. However, there is no need for further instruction after graduation if a child is taught well initially. Society invests little in schools in poorer neighborhoods, less on quality teachers for impoverished pupils, and even less on the students that sit in inadequate classrooms, and it shows. Pupils trapped in an inner city ghetto help us to see the stark differentiation between the best of conditions and the worse. Without well-educated parents to supplement a child's education at home, the outcome for a student is dire. Impoverished students suffer the consequences of their birth and station.
The report's findings validate the argument that the test is hardest on students who do not have access to good schools or good teachers, said Liz Guillen, director of legislative and community affairs for the nonprofit law firm Public Advocates. That applies mostly to poor and minority students, she said . . .The report also highlights California's persistent achievement gap and found an even more worrisome problem: Students who are black, Hispanic, poor or learning English did even worse when they were in schools with high concentrations of similar students.
The disparity between the haves and "have-nots" is daunting. The separation between the socio-economic classes is broad and widens. As we assess dropout rates, we can see that city school students are far more likely to drop than suburban scholars are.
Perhaps, exit exams have a purpose, albeit financial. Institutions gain when students are encouraged to forfeit a diploma. If those that struggle to pass the required assessment dropout, the percentage that graduate appears higher. The books are "legitimately" cooked.
Thus, the accountability standards designated by No Child Left Behind are achieved. Conveniently, children left behind fill the ranks of the lower caste. American society remains stable; the status quo is preserved. The haves are served and the have-nots continue to dream the impossible.
We may think we are comfortable as long as we, and our progeny, graduate. However, there are repercussions, not only for the children, but also for society as a whole. When a nation breeds a poor population, we give rise to generational poverty, people in need of assistance. This can burden a community, as well as bring about greater resentment, rebellion, and ultimately to increased societal ills, physical, emotional, intellectual. Welfare is but a singular, isolated, and the smallest consequence of poverty.
The community, as a whole, suffers when we do not care for each other. Wages fall. There is less opportunity to work. Physical and mental well-beings are threatened. Poverty is a shared load. It taxes individuals, institutions, and neighborhoods. The effects of impoverishment may be more evident among the young. Sadly, the weakest among us, from birth, are lumped together in underperforming schools. Through them, we might better diagnosis what affects us all.
[T]he vast majority of underachieving students are concentrated in such [poor] schools [with minority populations.]Most students are able to pass the exam in time for graduation, although critics note that as graduation day approaches more students drop out of school and stop being counted.
Poor and minority students help to remind us what occurs when we ignore or deny sound pedagogical principles. Children must be taught and tested in a manner that mirrors the way they learn. The acquisition of knowledge internalized occurs over time. Elucidation occurs when we meet people where they live. Attention to learning modalities matters.
If a pupil acquires best information when active, we must provide them with opportunities to produce. Then, we can evaluate the product. Educators must recall the maxim, "Practice makes perfect.'" One project completed does not equate to scholarship. The process, the progression affirms full comprehension. When an individual has a foundation, they are able to create anew. That is excellence.
If a child acquires knowledge aurally, that option must also be available. Appraisals for such a child need to also accommodate this learning modality. Once more, a young person cannot be accurately evaluated on one occasion. We each are a mixture of moments. Any of us may excel in the morning and fade in the afternoon, or vice versa. We cannot be sure what a day will bring. We can be certain that if we evaluate a pupil frequently, if a young academic is challenged to grow at their own pace, in a manner that meets their needs ultimately, they will do well.
Again, a collection of work helps us to understand how a child performs in various conditions. No one of us is ever the same in every moment. We may do well with a good night's rest, with sufficient food in our belly, and if we have had ample and exceptional opportunities to associate ourselves with the material. However, even all these advantages will not compensate for what occurs on any given day. Word of a parents' divorce, a death in the family, or just dread can doom a thinker to failure.
We all have feelings. Perchance we, as a society, might realize our emotions often lead us to defeat. Great angst felt at the prospect of a test, one that could shape our future and cause us to fail. Indeed, it probably will.
There’s no doubt that today students are under intense pressure to perform academically, but at what cost? The Institute of HeartMath® (www.heartmath.org) and Claremont Graduate University (www.cgu.edu) released a new study that depicts the high levels of anxiety students are shouldering due to the pressure to excel intellectually. Nearly two-thirds of the high school students who participated in the study reported being affected by test anxiety. The study underscores the detrimental impact of test anxiety on academic performance. Based on their findings, researchers say that students’ high levels of anxiety may jeopardize NCLB assessment validity and could be compromising testing results.HeartMath researchers explain that feelings of anxiety drive up the level of “noise” or mental static to such a pitch that it overloads the circuits in the brain needed for paying attention, learning, focusing, and remembering.
Dr. Rollin McCraty, lead researcher on the study and director of research for the Institute of HeartMath, says, "When students are anxious about their test performance, their brain doesn’t function efficiently. They can look at a test question and literally not see certain words, become confused, or miss the meaning of a question. They can even miss seeing entire questions on the page."
Hence, I plead. Policymakers, please understand, if we continue to assess our offspring in manners that befuddle them, threaten their sense of self, and serve only to generate a statistical base, we will alienate those we depend on most, our children. The young are our future. Do we really wish to throw them out of the schools and onto the streets? I hope not.
Some may see the poorest among us a disposable, dispensable, or expendable. They are not. Those that consider their children a priority and lessen the worth of the poor have yet to do the math. Compassion aside, we all pay the price for poverty.
A community is the sum total of the parts. If the elite do not invest in the education of impoverished youth, the cost incurred by all will be high. An unskilled, under-educated laborer is less likely to be secure in their employment. Wages for manual and menial work is low. Transitions affect economic stability. Uneducated employees may not have adequate health care. Bargaining for benefits is easier when you have an education to stand on. The shared cost of medical services alone takes a toll on the rates we each pay. Increased crime is a possibility we must consider. The effects of emotions expand. No one can predict with certainly what will become of our High School dropouts.
I invite educators and parents alike to advocate for the youth of America. Put yourself in the place of your progeny. Please do not be punitive and pedantic. Provide for our pupils. Bequeath them equal opportunities to progress over time in a manner that matches who they are. Let us not endorse artificial proofs of learning. May we empathize and embrace young minds while they are still in school. Policymakers, please drop in to our schools and experience the devastation exit exams reap before our children drop out.
Schools Days, Rigid Rules, and References . . .
Posted by Betsy L. Angert on November 10, 2007 at 08:00 PM in Children, Creativity and Curiosity, Dreams Live and Die , Economic Policy Institute Reports, Education, Education or Economics, Education, Effects of Poverty , Failure, No Child Left Behind, Poverty in America, Racial Discrimination, School Days | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Less Homework Plus Yoga Equals Greater Stress?
copyright © 2007 Betsy L. Angert. BeThink.org
In recent years, parents appear to be less able, or available, to assist with their child's education. Moms work outside the home. Dad is away at the office. Either or each, flies off on business trips. Even when the family is together, they run from one activity to another. Few families dine together. Less eat home cooked meals. There is so much pressure and it is not in the cooker.
Stress fills the lives of everyone, young and old. Among teens the problem many be more profound. Depression affects twenty percent of teens. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among adolescents and teenagers. According to the National Institute for Mental Health (NIMH), about 8 out of every 100,000 teenagers committed suicide in 2000. Needham High School Principal, Paul Richards yearns to change these statistics. Mister Richards is among many educators that have introduced programs to help reduce the strain, yoga classes among these.
Students are stretched to the limit. Society demands they prepare for college from birth. Once a neonate takes on an earthly presence, they are force fed a schedule. School is on the agenda, for some in the first months of their life. Toddlers are required to talk, use a toilet, and walk as soon as possible. Frazzled Moms and Dads are busy they have places to go, people to see, jobs to do, and so too does baby. Once a newborn is delivered, anxiety is introduced into their lives. Parents teach their young what they too learned at knees of those that cared for them.
Parents are a powerful influence on their progeny . From early childhood, to the 'tween, and teen years mothers and fathers make the difference. They are the a youngster's first and foremost teacher. Mommy and Daddy instruct through their presence and absence.
In March 2007, much to the dismay of many working Mom's and Dad's, a study substantiated that a child placed in day care for extensive periods, no matter the quality of the center, is likely to become disruptive in class. A child away from Mom or Dad at an early age still craves an intimate connection. Poorly paid surrogate parents cannot and likely will not offer the love, support, and attention that a guardian does.
Intellectually, Mommy and Daddy know this. They fear the possibility. Yet, what is an overwhelmed parent to do. Few can stay home even if they wish to. In a competitive market place, money must be made. A need to put bacon on the table causes many an anxious Ma and Pa to leave their little loved one in the hands of strangers.
Many guardians express their guilt and then look for a logical reason to explain away the pain. Desperate to find evidence that nursery school is beneficial to toddlers and tots, fathers and mothers cling to the revelation, time spent in high-quality day care centers correlates to higher vocabulary scores through elementary school.
We all know that parents are intent. They will do the extra work to ensure that they provide the best for their progeny. Mothers and fathers will vigorously investigate before they enroll their prodigy in a pre-school. Exceptional children will not be among the masses; nor will a prized child be among the norm. A good parent can be certain, his or her brood will be the best-behaved boy or girl in class. Ma and Pop insist on nothing less. Children consistently rise to parents' expectations.
Moms and Dads across America famously cater to their children's needs. They provide, ever if what they feel they need to do causes them great stress. A parent will sacrifice for his or her child. Poorer parents often secure two jobs, so that they might provide the best for their offspring. Local private and religious schools certainly will serve little Tim and Tina well. Middle Class Ma and Pop move to the better neighborhoods. They can choose from quality public establishments or academies meant for the privileged. The affluent need not worry. Their progeny will be properly placed and prepared. Ivy-league schools have a prestigious list of alum. These institutes honor legacies. However, efforts to secure excellence for elite scholars, while often emotionally and financially taxing, have not produced the expected results.
Study examines public, private schools
By Nancy Zuckerbrod
Boston Globe
October 10, 2007Washington -- Low-income students who attend urban public high schools generally do just as well as private-school students with similar backgrounds, according to a study being released Wednesday.
Students at independent private schools and most parochial schools scored the same on 12th-grade achievement tests in core academic subjects as those in traditional public high schools when income and other family characteristics were taken into account, according to the study by the nonpartisan Center on Education Policy.
While the finding is in line with a handful of recent studies, it's at odds with a larger body of research over the years that has found private-school students outperform those in public schools. Some of that research found a private-school advantage even when income levels are taken into account.
However, the new study not only compared students by income levels but also looked at a range of other family characteristics, such as whether a parent participates in school life.
"When these were taken into account, the private-school advantage went away," the report states.
The study looked at 1,000 low-income students from cities who are part of a nationally representative sample of kids surveyed over a period of years, along with parents and teachers, as part of a federal research effort.
In trying to determine whether the type of high school attended by a student made a difference academically, the new study tried to separate out the effects of income; earlier eighth-grade test scores; parental expectations; whether parents discuss school with their children and whether parents participate in school activities.
Parental expectations and involvement play a profound role in a child's achievement. Moms and Dads place much pressure on themselves, and then transfer the weight to the one that once resided in the womb.
In America today, some question whether Moms and Dads are too involved. Parents are concerned that their children attend the most impressive schools before the actual birth of the baby. Some Moms and Dads save for college just after conception. Pink and blue are not the only colors to consider; green is a must. Financial advisers suggest funds be set aside for the future at birth. In a competitive culture, children vie for a place at a prominent day care center.
In primary school, nothing is elementary. Children recognize if they do well, they will receive much attention and praise. Hence, little ones endeavor to be the best in every endeavor. Tikes ask if they might enroll in extra curricula activities. Friends are registered and their parents are proud. Approval motivates many decisions when we are small.
In High School, the pursuit of excellence is a compulsion, a habit. It seems almost inbred. Young adults know that if they are to compete, Advanced Placement courses and an stellar academic standing are a must. Adolescents ready their resumes before they apply for college. Numerous students devote their lives to advancement, much to their detriment. Hence, the reason that Paul Richards, and other educators, think there is a dire need to act.
Some high schools are requiring students to get parental permission before enrolling in Advanced Placement classes. Others are experimenting with later start times so students can get more sleep.
[Denise Pope, a lecturer at the Stanford University School of Education and author of the book, “Doing School: How We Are Creating a Generation of Stressed Out, Materialistic and Miseducated Students” (Yale University Press, 2001)] Dr. Pope advises schools to end the tradition of student newspapers publishing end-of-the-year lists of seniors and their colleges. “We found that there are kids who are lying,” she said, “because they’re embarrassed to say they’re going to a state school.”
Richards, among those Principals nationwide that realized the need to attend to the mental health of his students, observed as other educators have, frequently school age children, adolescents, and tots demand more from themselves than is physically possible. The desire for prominence and recognition took its toll. Students had no time to sleep, eat, or be. They were busy striving for success. Mister Richards decided the school would no longer submit the school honor roll for publication.
When Mr. Richards stopped publishing the honor roll in the local newspaper last winter, a move aimed at some parents who had turned the lists into a public accounting, Rush Limbaugh accused him of politically correct coddling of students, and Jay Leno mocked the school on national television. He received hate mail from all over the country.
Mr. Richards is undeterred. “It’s not that I’m trying to turn the culture upside down,” he said.
“It’s very important to protect the part of the culture that leads to all the achievement,” he said. “It’s more about bringing the culture to a healthier place.”
Yet, in this nation the pursuit of health is but another item to place on the time clock. As we observe hamsters on a wheel, we wonder. Does the animal generate momentum or does the centrifugal force move the Eurasian rodent. A human in pursuit of health may hit the treadmill for a few minutes.
Stress is significant in America, no matter what your age. Parents understand that they must prepare their children for what they face, an uncertain future, and they do. A good education is not enough to ensure economic stability. Jobs are outsourced. Machines replace people in the workplace. Corporations no longer invest in the laborers, and employees are not loyal to the company.
Income volatility has long been a hallmark of the American economy. Compared with those of workers in other developed countries, the earnings of Americans tend to bounce around drastically from year to year. And that's not necessarily bad. "People don't realize that income volatility and income mobility are the same thing," said Peter Gottschalk, professor of economics at Boston College and a pioneer in the study of income volatility. People who start out at the bottom of the income ladder frequently wind up at a higher rung.
Conversely, just because you earn $300,000 this year doesn't mean you'll be making that much 10 years from now. The economist Joseph A. Schumpeter, who coined the term "creative destruction," described the upper strata of society as a hotel in which the guests are always changing. Income volatility is the mechanism through which guests check in and check out.
After mining data from the Panel Study of Income and Dynamics, a database produced by the University of Michigan that tracks the incomes of the same families over a 40-year period, scholars have concluded that incomes are much less stable - i.e., much more volatile - today than they have been in the past. "There has unequivocally been general upward-trend income volatility since at least 1975," said Bruce A. Moffitt, the Krieger-Eisenhower professor of economics at Johns Hopkins University, who, with Professor Gottschalk, wrote one of the first papers on income volatility in the 1990's. "It accelerated in the 1980's, turned down in the early 1990's, and then accelerated into the end of the 1990's."
According to a measure of volatility constructed by Jacob S. Hacker, a Yale political scientist, which tracks the five-year moving average of family incomes, income volatility rose 88 percent between 1978 and 2000.
"The problem in the past few decades," Professor Moffitt said, "is that volatility has risen while real incomes haven't risen." What's more, income volatility has grown significantly for those who can afford it least. A series of articles last year in The Los Angeles Times, written by Peter G. Gosselin, who worked closely with Professor Moffitt and other scholars, reported that in the 1970's, income for middle-class Americans tended to fluctuate by 16 percent a year. But in the 1980's and 1990's, middle-class incomes fluctuated an average of 30 percent. For those whose earnings placed them in the bottom fifth, income volatility rose from 25 percent in the early 1970's to 50 percent in recent years.
Because of other longstanding trends in the economy, strong income volatility can wreak greater havoc now than it did in the past.
The havoc appears to be economic, and it is. However, what devastates Americans most is not the lack of income, as much as the fear of a shortage does. The stress caused by financial woes takes a toll on physical, mental, and the spiritual well being of Moms, Dads, and their offspring. Stress related illnesses are abundant.
People in this country run at an incredible pace. They race to make the grade, to make ends meet, to make a modicum of money, and to secure a prestigious career. Permanence is no longer possible. Thus, there is greater tension. Families are full of angst.
Each baby that bounces out of the womb must be prepared to woe the world with their wisdom, their wealth, and their worth. The latter is often determined in the formative years. Colleges will ask, "What was your grade point average?" Entrance, acceptance, approval all are dependent on your name and rank, or at least that is what parents teach their children.
Words need not be uttered. Moms and Dads model what they feel, fear, and believe. Actions speak volumes. The message is get a good education. Excellent grades are a must. Go to the best University. Secure an esteemed position in a company that pays well and provides benefits. Buy a big house on the hill, travel; and did I mention make lots of money. Then you will be a success, stressed, nonetheless, a success. Young people, in their desire to please, and be as mother and father think best strive to achieve. However, there is a cost. Financial obligations accrue. Tension mounts.
Although there is little quality research linking debt to poor health, experts say there's no question that being in debt can be stressful. And a wide body of research has tied stress to health problems including high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease and stomach disorders such as colitis.
Even those that have yet to enter the workforce feel pangs of angst. As lads and lassies prepare to enter the adult world, they doggedly attempt to keep the dragons at bay. In Elementary School, Middle School, and in the higher grades, there is a need to achieve. Youngsters acknowledge it is a competitive world out there. Our offspring train academically. They are coached in sports, tutored in music, dance, the arts; they strive to be smart. Long before they accumulate monetary arrears, emotionally they become out of balance.
High School Principal Richards realized this in his current assignment. At Needham High School, in the affluent Boston suburbs, Paul Richards, the Principal, meets with the Stress Reduction Committee. Some students are unable to attend. They are overscheduled and cannot commit to a consultation that takes them away from their rigorous academic schedule.
Mr. Richards is just one principal in the vanguard of a movement to push back against an ethos of super-achievement at affluent suburban high schools amid the extreme competition over college admissions. He has joined like-minded administrators from 44 other high schools and middle schools — most in the San Francisco Bay Area but others scattered from Texas to New York — to form a group known as S.O.S., for Stressed Out Students . . .
High schools in other Boston suburbs — Wellesley, Lexington, Wayland — have taken steps similar to Needham’s, organizing stress committees and yoga classes . . .
At Needham, there is some grumbling that measures like homework-free holidays could erode academic rigor.
Principal Richards realizes it is a challenge to change. Students and parents indoctrinated in a culture that demands that you do, deliver, and achieve external successes, cannot imagine taking time to be. There is no time to waste in pursuit of a degree. Ivy-league schools require exemplary résumés. However, Principal Paul Richards realized a rigorous routine may not reap the rewards that many expect.
Needham began an intense self-examination a couple years ago, after four of its young people — one in college, two in high school and one in middle school — committed suicide. While school officials emphasized that the suicides were not related to stress, the deaths heightened concerns about how Needham’s students were responding to school pressure.
Even before the suicides, Needham school officials had responded to youth surveys indicating troubling rates of alcohol and drug use and depression — rates like those at other affluent high schools — by establishing an initiative, starting in elementary school, to help students develop better emotional and social skills.
“One of our big goals is to try to help students become more resilient,” Mr. Richards said. He wants to help students learn to cope better with the inevitable setbacks, he said, “so they don’t fall apart if they get a B-minus.”
Mr. Richards, 36, arrived here three years ago from Nantucket, where, as principal of the island’s high school, he had to push students to aim higher. For all the academic advantages of Needham High School, what struck him, he said, was the cost to all this achieving and performing.
Many students were so stressed out about grades and test scores — and so busy building résumés to get into the small number of brand-name colleges they equated with success — that, he said, they could not fully engage with school.
“A lot of these kids,” he said, “are being held hostage to the culture.”
Mr. Richards, who is pursuing his doctorate at Boston College, made himself an expert in research on stress. In his office one recent morning, he grabbed a marker and drew a curve on a flip chart to illustrate scientific findings that while a certain amount of stress is necessary for learning and growth, too much interferes.
He said he was concerned with widespread cheating, mostly by students copying homework and failing to cite sources fully. Cheating, experts say, is a problem at high schools nationwide.
Interestingly, cheating on examinations cannot compare with the way that we cheat ourselves. American adults dupe themselves and the children into believing we can measure success. In the minds of most, a diploma, a degree, and the dollars in your bank account documents you have triumphed. A huge house on a hill, one that overlooks all others validates, you are victorious. A flashy chariot communicates you have arrived. It matters not that the person within the vehicle is void; that he or she thinks himself or herself to be nothing more than an empty vessel.
Unfulfilled parents work to possess more and more. Thus, they place their children in day care before the babies feel safe, secure, or have time to develop a stable sense of autonomy. They tell themselves they must send their babies off to school. With only one income, Moms and Dads cannot make ends meet. Perhaps, for a very few this is true. However, for most the desire to acquire is the dominant factor. Parents tell themselves they must provide; whilst they forget how much their mere presence bequeaths.
Citizens of the United States, mothers and fathers are so consumed with consumption, that they only know how to acquire possessions. Americans are unaware; 'How might I experience fulfillment.' We ask our offspring what they want to "be" when they grow up. Yet, actually, we wish to know what profession will they pursue in order to prove themselves valuable to society. Few of our countrymen, at any age, have discovered the answer to the deeper question, "What or who do I desire to be."
As Paul Richards pursues a higher mission, as he works to preserve the idea [or ideal] education is about more than statistical accountability, he acknowledges as he refers to Needham's record of academic success, “If the results aren’t there they’d run me out of town pretty quickly.” Dear reader, as you evaluate your own community you might give credence to the truth of Principal Richards statement.
Apparently, in America, profound contemplation is of little if any merit. Meditation is not suitable for those that wish to progress up the economic scale. If achievement falls at Needham High School, even if temporarily as people adjust, stress reduction programs will be eliminated. The rapid pace of the civilized rat race obliterates reflective reasoning.
In this country, current curriculums suggest critical thinkers need not be cultivated. Unless people are able to bring in the bucks, they have no legitimate purpose. Hence, we must teach to the marketplace. Mathematicians and scientist are taught rote techniques. Even artists, if trained at all, must act as technicians. Designers can generate dollars. Musicians have a mission. If they can please the masses, there is money to be made. In American classrooms, curiosity is not cultivated. There is no time to breathe deeply. Americans have debts to pay. Sadly, the deficit may be soul deep.
The Sum and Stress of Less Homework Plus Yoga . . .
By Nancy Zuckerbrod. Boston Globe. October 10, 2007
Posted by Betsy L. Angert on November 1, 2007 at 01:22 PM in Americana, Approval or Love, Children, Consumption and Content, Creativity and Curiosity, Education, Emotional Intelligence, Evolution [Emotional, Physical, Spiritual], School Days | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Sex; Education, Abstinence, Angst
copyright © 2007 Betsy L. Angert. BeThink.org
'Twas October 18 and Congress was a twitter. Senators and Representatives fought and they flittered. Some thought society must provide for the children. Others maintained only parents need be responsible for their wards. Congressional Democrats discussed and debated. For them Health Care for the little ones, that was the issue. When suddenly they realized this pursuit was not viable. A few thought if they built a coalition, designed a compromise all would be well. Thus, a proposal was submitted. Funds for the children in the form of Abstinence Education, surely, that would fly; health insurance went bye-bye.
As Congress deliberated and did few deeds, parents congregated and presumed a great need. In the corners of Portland, Maine parents chattered and prattled. Could we, should we, would we give our Middle School students a prescription. Might contraceptives and condoms cure societal ills? For these fine citizens sex was the subject. Who might the teacher be?
These anecdotes are as one. Elders inquire; who or how might we care for the little ones. What is right and what is wrong; what is neither, just misunderstood. In the House chambers, on the Senate floor, in living rooms near and far anxious adults ponder the possibilities their parents did not. Is sex a subject to be taught by the states, or once the babies arrive at school, is it too late.
This is a tale of two families. The dynamics differ. Perchance, you will recognize yourself in the home of one or the other, perhaps not. I invite you to sit for a while. Settle into that cozy chair. Curl up and snuggle as stories of the untold unfold . . .
At eight months old, she was walking, talking, and toilet trained herself. Her Mom was astounded; nevertheless pleased. Barbara had been diligent in her desire. She did not place an external expectation on her daughter. This Mom did not attempt to hasten or delay development. Abstinence, until the child was presumed ready was not an option. Nor did Barbara ask an expert to be her guide.
Bodily functions such as the ability to place one foot in front of the other and maintain balance, speech, or the movement of bowels or urine were taught with love. When suitable, Mom would model behaviors. If the act was extremely personal and meant to be performed only in private, Mommy would elucidate and state why.
Training began for baby Betsy at birth. Barbara encouraged curiosity, while she explained social mores. Little Betsy questioned everything. Interestingly, once she decided to use the lavatory, she did not inquire or ask for assistance. The young girl, barely a toddler, voiced her intent. Then, she wandered off in the direction of the restroom.
With the potty seat in hand, Barbara went in the direction of the bathroom. She trusted Betsy would be there. Indeed Little Bit, as her Dad called her, was. She had jumped down from her perch on the porcelain bowl, stood in silence, and listened to the water whoosh down the bowl.
All those months of taking this baby to the toilet when Mom herself needed to use the facility worked well. A prideful parent, Barbara mused, "Babies are a bundle of joy." Precious petite ones are bright as light, and full of life. Who knows what wonders are within them or what they will bring to this world.
Berenice Barbara understood that her daughter could, in later years, bring a child into the world. She wanted little Betsy to make an informed decision, just as she had when she chose to use the loo. Mommy would not engage in this act in front of the child. Physical intimacy is indeed a private affair and must be honored as such. Mommy wanted Little Bit to understand the depth of this personal and venerated connection.
This Mom thought it vital that her daughter understand human biology if she were ever to appreciate the intricacies of her body. However, Barbara also recognized that a fixation on the physical would negate what was most important when intercourse occurs, the love between two beings. Just as she did when she helped her littlest female offspring to walk, talk, and use the toilet, Berenice made certain children's books were available on the subject. Barbara placed various illustrated texts in every bathroom. She encouraged questions, offered accurate, and informed answers. Barbara did not push; she trusted.
Periodically, this Mommy inquired in a delicate manner. Berenice Barbara wished to ensure that Betsy was familiar with physical functions, the parts of the body, human anatomy, and adopted an attitude of reverence towards life and physical love. Mom understood that information without explanation might distort a discovery. She had no desire to do damage and knew she could. The subject of sex is a delicate one; yet, a necessary discussion.
Betsy thought the talk silly. There was no reason for Mom to worry when her daughter was so young. By the time the little girl was five years of age, Mommy was convinced; Little Bit had much knowledge.
When friends gathered to tell jokes and talk of sex, Betsy thought them childish. They knew nothing and professed as experts would. Some giggled; others shied away from such chatter. Yet, they too were keenly intent. They yearned to learn. A few explored with friends. For Betsy, the fascination was folly.
Actual engagement seemed necessary at an early age for those desperate to understand what was not discussed in their homes. Berenice Barbara had faith Betsy would wait. She would reassure the young girl that when the time was right she could come to her parents for protection.
Indeed, only after careful consideration did Betsy decide she would engage in the cherished act. She chose her partner well. Betsy did not need to seek love she never felt at home. She had no need to rebel. She was not curious about what seemed a mystery to her. Nor did she romanticize the rendezvous For Little Bit, there was always ample information; thus, zero fascination. She did not experience intercourse as an unknown. Fortunately, for Betsy sex was not shrouded in shame.
Across the street and down the path a bit, another mother and father brood. The two consider their children their offspring are as blank slates, easily influenced by evil forces. Society is sinful. Man is a beast. One never knows who might sway the sponge-like mind of small people.
Unlike Betsy who was taught to trust her intuitions, respect others, and herself, revere her body and mind, and most of all inquire no matter what the topic, Erin and Eric were raised to fear. Their Mom and Dad, just as most in the neighborhood were apprehensive. They envisioned the boogey man was behind every door. Often these parents pondered; "What might my child be exposed to." In The New York Times the father read Birth Control Allowed at Maine Middle School. What can a parent do to protect the young?
The United States Congress thought they knew what would be best for the children. Erin and Eric's Mom and Dad might agree with the decision to increase funds for Abstinence Only programs. Sex for the sake of stimulation is sinful. Only wedded persons in love should engage in such entanglements. Procreation is prized. However, others, such as Betsy's Mom might question the actions of a bipartisan leadership.
Abstinence 1, S-Chip 0
By Amanda Robb
The New York Times
October 18, 2007Democratic leaders are right to contest President Bush’s veto of their bill to expand the State Children’s Health Insurance program. But sadly, their “bipartisan compromise” will leave millions of young Americans vulnerable to sickness and suffering of the most preventable kind.
To entice Republicans to support the bill, the House of Representatives agreed to increase money for abstinence-only sex education by $28 million, to about $200 million a year. Abstinence-only courses, the only form of federally financed sex ed, teach that sexual activity outside of marriage is likely to cause psychological and physical harm.
If that were true, our health care system would be not only broken, but also besieged. A 2002 survey found that 93 percent of American adults had had premarital sex by the age of 30.
In addition to provoking shame about a nearly universal activity, abstinence-only sex education is ineffective and dangerous. Last April, a 10-year study found that students who took abstinence-only courses were no more likely to abstain from sex than other students. Previous studies revealed that abstinence-only students avoid using contraception.
Programs in public schools teach patently false information like “the chances of getting pregnant with a condom are one out of six” and H.I.V. “may be in your body for a long time (from a few months to as long as 10 years or more) before it can be detected.”
The results are tragic. The United States has the highest teenage pregnancy rate in the developed world (about the same as Ukraine’s), and the highest abortion rate in the Western world. Sexually transmitted infections like syphilis and gonorrhea are on the rise for the first time since the 1980s, and Chlamydia is being diagnosed twice as often as it was a decade ago.
Statistics such as these give Erin and Eric's mother and father more reason to fear for their progeny. They caution their children constantly. They dread what harm might befall the delicate delights they gave birth to. As they worry and contemplate the woes, they plop their infant girl and toddler son in front of the television. Nothing is said to the tots as they watch what is considered suitable pre-screened programming.
The adults in this home do not want young Erin or Eric to hear a conversation that could have a dire effect on their young minds. Often, when the elders chat in this family they spell words or used forms that are thought "appropriate" for children. Mom and Dad are very careful about what they let into the lives of their loved little ones.
As the parents plan the perfect life for Erin and Eric, colorful images flash on the tube. Violent, snide, rude, and crude cartoon characters cackle on screen. Advertisements vie for the attention of a captive audience. Girls gyrate. Boys build body mass, and bounce beautiful buxom women on their knees.
Meanwhile mother discusses the possible pressures a commercial culture imposes on children. Father filters what comes into the house. He looks over at young Eric absorbed in the images as they emanate from the tube and states, "Beware of girl that do not wear panties." Dad then turns to Mom and asserts we must protect our cherished children from corruptive forces. The two work to do so daily.
Typically, on the day of rest, the parents dress baby Erin in her Sunday best. Eric too is clothed in his finest. Mom and Dad don the proper attire, and then, they all depart for a morning of prayer. The family files into a regal building with other parishioners. The milieu is impressive in its majesty. The four join the congregation.
Religious ceremonies will teach the proper lessons. The words of the clergy echo throughout the chamber. The sermon is instructive. "This is the message I want my newborn to hear, to embrace, to feel deeply in her heart," Mommy thinks. She glances over at her little lad. His eyes are large. Eric appears captivated. Mom relaxes, comfortable with her choices.
Daddy beams. My son will learn right from wrong. He will be as his 'old man' is, an exemplary elder. His daughter, in time, will dutifully follow the lead of her parents and worship well. If only societal ills can be kept at bay.
This father felt much apprehension and he believed he had ample reason for his worry. He mused; no one seems to care. Even when Congress attempts to do well, the State supplants any attempt to do the right thing, or so was this Dad's interpretation of the day's news.
New York Just Says No to Abstinence Funding
By Jennifer Medina
The New York TimesNew York is rejecting millions of dollars in federal grants for abstinence-only sex education, the state health commissioner, Dr. Richard F. Daines, announced yesterday. The decision puts New York in line with at least 10 other states that have decided to forgo the federal money in recent years.
New York has received roughly $3.5 million a year from the federal government for abstinence-only education since 1998. The abstinence program was approved as part of welfare overhauls under the Clinton administration and was expanded and restructured under President Bush.
In a statement posted on the Health Department’s Web site, Dr. Daines said, “The Bush administration’s abstinence-only program is an example of a failed national healthcare policy directive.” He added that the policy was “based on ideology rather than on sound scientific-based evidence that must be the cornerstone of good public healthcare policy.”
The state had also spent $2.6 million annually to fund the same programs over the last decade. That money will now be spent on other existing programs for sex education, Dr. Daines said in an interview.
Supporters of abstinence-only education said it should remain an option. “We’ve seen a lot of attacks on this program,” said Leslee Unruh, the president of the National Abstinence Clearinghouse, based in South Dakota. “A lot of kids that are abstaining are made to feel as if they are from a Victorian age and they are not with the ‘Sex and the City’ crowd.”
. . . Dr. Daines said that existing state programs include discussion of abstinence. But he said the state made the decision based on evidence that the abstinence-only program did little to prevent teen pregnancies. He said he also objected to the program’s “narrow ideological view, which is not the direction we want to go in for sexual health.” He said the state should encourage the teaching of the use of condoms and include discussions of abstinence.
Eric's father could not imagine that a school might have the authority to teach his child, his children about condoms. Erin too would receive such instruction. In his mind he mulled over the situation. This Dad was certain, it is the parents place to instruct their youngsters as they see fit. Society cannot dictate what is best. Moms and Dads must educate the young . . . and they do, even if only by omission. What is not said aloud speaks volumes. Silence teaches. Little children learn.
After the service, the four go on about their day. Dad barked orders. Mom manipulated her husband. She has wants and he holds the money clip. Brother balks. Little Eric bellows out his commands. "You can't make me!" He too has an agenda. When subtleties do not work Eric sternly voices his vents. He cries when his needs are not met. "You don't love me anymore." He has learned; martyrdom is the message that resonates best for him. Baby girl Erin observes. She is as a sponge. She takes it all in.
This fine, upstanding family walks down the street, then into a store. They shop for household products. As they stroll, the wide-eyed son picks up a periodical. A woman barely clad is displayed on the cover. Mom grabs the magazine away from the lad and screams, "No!" "Bad boy," she exclaims. Dad smiles. His lips are turned up. His teeth are exposed as though he approves. The boy is confused. Then, his father snaps. The smile becomes a smirk. His words are scornful. Baby girl bawls. She sheds tears as the drama mounts. Then the whimper becomes a bawl. This is not fun for her.
Finally, after much turmoil the family returns home. The baby's bottom is wet. Mom gently places Erin on the changing table and prepares a clean diaper. Eric looks on. At first all is well. However, as the young boy notices the unmentionable and says so he is shooed away. Eric, banished for his observations feels the intense ignominy he felt as a baby. The vivid remembrance lives larger than his erect penis did when he was the one whose diapers were changed.
Eric recalls that as an infant, he was soothed and felt serene as his mother powdered his bottom. He remembers her gentle touch on his skin. The cool, yet dry dust warmed his damp flesh. To this day, in his mind, he sees his Mom smile with delight as she and her son engaged. Then, suddenly, she became anxious. His genitalia was hard, and she thought that awful, or at least that is how he interpreted her expression. Instead of slowly and softly caressing her young male child, the mother never again took pleasure in the diaper change that, from then on was but a chore, one that seemed to anger this female parent.
Eric's mother must not have known that what now causes her son great shame; babies are easily aroused and take pleasure in physical stimulation.
[S]exuality isn't created in a child by her first sex education class. Nor is it turned on by a single hormonal switch that gets flipped at puberty. Instead, try thinking of sexuality as something assembled by each developing child over a period of years out of component parts. Some of the components a child will use for this job are on hand at birth, such as her [or his] genitals. When you get a baby girl, the vulva is included, [for the boy, the penis is part of the package] and even before she can speak she will discover that touching her [or his] genitals feels good. It looks like there's something sexual about that act, but full-fledged sexuality requires more than sensitive genitals . . .As with other newborns, at diaper time Eloise's [Erin's] and Max's [Eric's] parents may be able to observe that they have spontaneous arousals. Max will develop an erection. Eloise-although it will be much harder to see-will lubricate. It is unclear what causes these arousals at this age, whether they are responses to physical stimulation or to an internal signal in the baby's mind or body. Some consider these arousals a kind of reflex. They represent the earliest functioning after birth of a child's sexual apparatus.
Being held and caressed are among the greatest pleasures of infant life. So is having your chin stroked and your back rubbed. And so is playing with your genitals. In her eighth month, Eloise coos when her diaper is changed if she feels a breeze on her labia. Max, at ten months, likes to play with his penis, especially in the bath when the water is warm.
It is not clear at what age children begin to find genital stimulation more pleasurable than gentle touching elsewhere on their body. But infants certainly do seek it out, often before their first birthday. Can they have an orgasm if they stimulate themselves? No one really knows what an infant is feeling, but responses that look like orgasms (without ejaculation in boys) have been observed in children during their first year.
Reactions, the effects of stimulation do not diminish if ignored. Children are not deterred when told "Just say no." Abstinence does not lessen the sensation; nor does it lower the libido. Eric and Erin discouraged to speak of what their parents think unwise to discuss will seek knowledge from other sources.
Friends and other family members may be willing to speak in a whisper, if the room is dark. Other children might accept an invitation to come out and play. If a cloistered child cannot find fulfillment, a release, or a meaningful connection to what brings great angst he or she may seek comfort in ways that can and perchance will destroy families and a healthy foundation.
Young girls desirous of love may mistake sex for an authentic adoration. This may leave them vulnerable to young and older men that want only a female body to bond with. The child Emotional Testimony From Online Predator Victim rings in our ears.
Six years ago, Alicia Kozakiewicz says she was just a normal 13-year-old girl. That all changed on New Year's Day 2002. Today, she recounted for Congress how an online sexual predator befriended her in an Internet chat room, then kidnapped her, drove her across state lines and locked her in a cage in his basement, where he beat her, tortured her and raped her."I cry inside. I mourn for that child that was me. The child that was stolen from me. Make no mistake -- that child was murdered. I know now that some parts of me are forever there. The child that I was is still chained in that room, still suffering."
Kozakiewicz warned the House Judiciary Committee of the widespread dangers of Internet sex crimes.
"The boogey man is real. And he lives on the Net. He lived in my computer -- and he lives in yours," she said, looking at the lawmakers. "While you are sitting here, he is at home with your children."
The words of this young woman avow what Moms and Dads most fear. These statements also allow us to think that parents must protect their young. However, as a society we rarely embrace the wisdom that Berenice shared. Instruction must begin at birth. What we hide or shield our offspring from will hurt them.
Erin may become as many a young and sheltered girl. The attention of a young suitor may entice her. She may lose her virginity in hopes that she pleases the young gent that holds her hand. However, teen romances rarely last long; however, the effects of these do.
Girls who have sex at an early age are at slightly greater risk than their peers for feeling depressed, a new study has found. But their self-esteem suffers only if the sex occurs outside a romantic relationship.
An uninformed boy shamed by his virility may turn to a younger sibling if he does not feel as though girls his age would have him. He may do what makes no sense to him in an attempt to seek physical solace. If a sexually repressed lad dabbles in physical intimacies, he may feel these acts are dirty. In the young man's heart and mind, the behavior and he, the boy, may be soiled, bad, or evil.
When we do not nurture the natural, and teach propriety and decorum before a child becomes a pubescent, then we will reap what we have sowed, a sexually stimulated society that knows not how to love, when, or where.
If we as culture continue to flaunt our physical figures, to objectify people when we feel aroused, then I fear we will create what we most dread. We will become a society obsessed with what was not explained early on, the transitions that we accepted, expected, or adopted as children. Numerous children embrace modesty. It makes sense to those taught to welcome it. Others adapt; they feel shame when they experience sexual stimulation. Life experiences etch a being.
Eloise, at the age of eight, has a favorite place in the woods behind her house where she and her friends hide out. Occasionally they play "husbands," a game they invented together. One gets to be the husband, another plays the wife, and a third gives the instructions. The husband and wife pretend to come home from work and then take off their clothes. (This game is better played in the summer.) The director, Eloise's favorite role, tells the husband which part of his wife's body to touch. All the girls find this game pretty exciting.As they grow through middle childhood, children are more likely to have had this kind of sex play with peers. The quality of their play is different from before. It is not only much more covert than it was in preschool; a new feeling of physical excitement and arousal may enter the picture. Yet, children this age still don't seem to pick sex-play partners because they are attracted to them, and they don't feel that they are having a romance.
At age eight, Max has a way with woodies. They come and go throughout the day, but Max hasn't yet had to give his erections a lot of thought. They seem to do fine without much input from him. Woodies just happen.
In 1943, one research group interviewed 291 boys to find out what it was that gave them erections. The boys dutifully provided an exhaustive list. It included, among other highlights, sitting in class, sitting in church, sitting in warm sand, and setting a field on fire. The national anthem was also responsible for a few erections. So was finding money (understandable) and, for a few unfortunates, being asked to go to the front of the class.
Good grades and hurricanes do indeed give Max erections, but at age ten, there are some new items on his list. Like underwear ads.
Well, Daddy told Eric if women wear underwear, then there was no reason to fear. However, Eric recalls how Mom felt when the lad was aroused. Eric is as many young men and women, confused. He wonders, when is sex good; when is excitement bad. Is there an in-between or is being human as Hades might be. The fire burns in the belly, and I cannot get satisfaction.
Erin ponders copulation. She longs to be part of a couple, to be touched, and loved. Yet, if the relationship does not last, is she then spoiled, soiled, and unsuitable for intimacy. Sex, love, the mind, the body, and the heart. Erin and Eric are each uncertain, they know not where one begins or the other ends. Perchance they are intertwined. The children feel certain they are not.
The family spoke of love; it was good to feel cherished. Mother and father did not discuss sex. That topic was bad. Eric and Erin heard the phrase "making love" and understood this involved intercourse. So many questions; too few answers.
As Americans discuss and debate, who will teach the children about the birds and the bees. Perchance we will stop the bickering long enough to notice, our young are learning. They learned many lessons while we battled.
If parents and people shame a child, blame a child, and do not explain sex to children, our young will not survive as they might. We may inquire into infinity at what age will our children learn to be wise and wondrous. Perhaps, the more significant sentiment might be, when do we dare share our souls and ensure safety for the young.
Parents must ponder; they cannot always be there to protect or defend. Teachers possibly arrive too late to be truly effective when sex is the subject. As elders we must teach the children to think for themselves, to trust in their knowledge. If the young have no information, or only have what causes them pain, then . . . shame will be the sorrow they harbor. If we continue to create a culture that closets, celebrates, and yet does not cherish, then what will be, will be. Indeed, it already is.
Sources and Sex Education . . .
Posted by Betsy L. Angert on October 20, 2007 at 12:06 AM in Approval or Love, Children, Education, Emotional Decisions, Human Nature, Looking for Love, Nature or Nurture, Psychology , School Days, Sex Education, Teach The Children | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
No Child Left Behind Leaves Children Behind
HEY YOU - help leave no child behind, really!
copyright © 2007 Betsy L. Angert. BeThink.org
A parent profoundly effected by property taxes and academic programs that teach to tests, decided to speak about a societal dilemma that has long haunted Americans. A mother or father enlisted the help of their very bright son. He or she enrolled the child in the political process and submitted a question for state and national politicians. Perhaps, only a youngster can truly speak to the issues that effect our future. Perchance, the sweet face of child can melt hearts hardened by budgets, years of chasing the almighty dollar, and no sense [cents?] Leonard Hornbach says to Presidential hopefuls and the Governor of Florida, Hey you, help leave no child behind, really!
In 1991, scholar, Jonathan Kozal spoke of the paradox in Savage Inequalities. Kozal pointed to the enigma that permeated our culture then, and does so today, perhaps to a greater degree. No Child Left Behind rather than elevate the discussion, deepened the divide. Citizens do not wish to dole out dollars to support their communities. In this civilized age, cash flow is tight. Poor Americans and even the affluent, are less able or willing to fund schools, libraries, and other public services, although they work harder today than their parents and grandparents might have in years past. Costs are high. Quality is low and steadily declines as American citizens refuse to finance public schools.
Students and the services provided to them are squeezed out. As we squash the schools, we smother the life spirit inborn of our young. The poorest among us suffer more than those whose parents ultimately place them in a private school. More than a decade ago, the situation in schools was dire. Jonathan Kozol documented.
In Illinois, as elsewhere in America, local funds for education raised from property taxes are supplemented by state contributions and by federal funds, although the federal contribution is extremely small, constituting only 6 percent of total school expenditures. State contributions represent approximately half of local school expenditures in the United States; although intended to make up for local wealth disparities, they have seldom been sufficient to achieve this goal. Total yearly spending-local funds combined with state assistance and the small amount that comes from Washington-ranges today in Illinois from $2,100 on a child in the poorest district to above $10,000 in the richest. The system, writes John Coons, a professor of law at Berkeley University, "bears the appearance of calculated unfairness. "Today, the dropout rate is off the charts. As No Child Left Behind caters to those that calculate cash flow, as we attend to facts and figures whilst we forget the children, New Figures Show High Dropout Rate. According to the Washington Post, Federal Officials Say Problem Is Worst For Urban Schools, Minority Males. Indeed, reluctantly, Federal officials admit many dropouts are not even included in the records.There is a belief advanced today, and in some cases by conservative black authors, that poor children and particularly black children should not be allowed to hear too much about these matters. If they learn how much less they are getting than rich children, we are told, this knowledge may induce them to regard themselves as "victims," and such "victim-thinking," it is argued, may then undermine their capability to profit from whatever opportunities may actually exist. But this is a matter of psychology-or strategy-and not reality. The matter, in any case, is academic since most adolescents in the poorest neighborhoods learn very soon that they are getting less than children in the wealthier school districts. They see suburban schools on television and they see them when they travel for athletic competitions. It is a waste of time to worry whether we should tell them something they could tell to us. About injustice, most poor children in America cannot be fooled.
Children, of course, don't understand at first that they are being cheated. They come to school with a degree of faith and optimism, and they often seem to thrive during the first few years. It is sometimes not until the third grade that their teachers start to see the warning signs of failure. By the fourth grade, many children see it too.
"These kids are aware of their failures," says a fourth grade teacher in Chicago. "Some of them act like the game's already over."
By fifth or sixth grade, many children demonstrate their loss of faith by staying out of school. The director of a social service agency in Chicago's Humboldt Park estimates that 10 percent of the 12- and 13-year-old children that he sees are out of school for all but one or two days every two weeks. The route from truancy to full-fledged dropout status is direct and swift. Reverend Charles Kyle, a professor at Loyola University, believes that 10 percent of students in Chicago drop out prior to their high school years, usually after seventh or eighth grade-an estimate that I have also heard from several teachers. This would put the city's actual dropout rate, the Chicago Tribune estimates, at "close to 60 per cent."
The statistics paint a dire portrait: Seventy percent of students nationwide earned diplomas in four years as of 2003, the latest data available nationally, a much lower rate than that reported by the vast majority of school systems. According to the database, Washington area graduation rates ranged from 94 percent in Loudoun and Falls Church to a low of 59 percent in the District, with most other systems falling in the 60s, 70s, and low 80s.The First Lady, Laura Bush, a former teacher herself, and a concerned citizen helped to unveil an online database. In her introduction, she included a promise from the government that the index would provide parents across much of the nation, 'the first accurate appraisal of how many students graduate from high school on time in each school system.'Education Secretary Margaret Spellings said the data show that half of the nation's dropouts come from a small group of largely urban "dropout factories," high schools "where graduation is a 50-50 shot or worse." She scolded state and local education officials for masking the problem by publishing inflated graduation rates based on bad math.
"We are finally moving from a state of denial to a state of acknowledgment," she said, speaking in Washington at a summit titled America's Silent Epidemic. "It's hard to believe such a pervasive problem has remained in the shadows for so long."
Most states, including Virginia, Maryland, and the District, continue to report graduation rates by a method that, while accepted by the federal government, has been rejected by much of the academic community and was roundly criticized yesterday by federal officials. They estimate the graduation rate based on the number of students known to have dropped out. The problem is, few public high schools track every student who drops out.
"In some states," Spellings said, "a student is counted as a dropout only if he registers as a dropout. That's unlikely."
The publication of the new national database, compiled by the trade journal Education Week, signals a sweeping change in how graduates are counted. The site tabulates graduation data for school systems based on simple attrition, tracking the dwindling size of a high school class from the fall of freshman year to graduation day.However, as we assess the numbers we must acknowledge that schools are not able to educate, motivate, or inspire our children. We are barely able to meet with our young persons. Too often children do not attend classes. If their bodies are placed in a seat, their minds may still be miles and miles away. If school is boring, and teachers teach only to the test, children will seek knowledge in other venues.Bush, in a lunchtime speech, urged the nation's parents to consult the database and "find out if your community has a dropout problem."
As a culture, we know this. Yet, characteristically, we do nothing to change this. In fact, we have increased the dullness factor. We focus on tests and forfeit instruction. We evaluate the physical exit of students during the juvenile years.
The summit marks a growing national sense that high schools are facing a dropout crisis. The extent of the problem -- only two students in three graduate with their class -- has been clear for years within the education community but not among members of the general public, who, according to surveys, believe that nearly 90 percent of students graduate from high school.Speakers stressed that dropout rates are particularly high among black and Hispanic students, especially males.
Prince George's County schools reported a 90 percent graduation rate for 2003. The new database shows a graduation rate of 67 percent for that system. More than half of the dropouts, it shows, never make it to the 10th grade.
The physical presence of pupils in a classroom may lessen in high school. However, mentally, children often turn away, fall from grace in kindergarten.
How Bush education law has changed our schools
By Greg Toppo,
USA Today
January 8, 2007The walls are speaking these days at Stanton Elementary School in Philadelphia, and they're talking about test scores.
Post-It notes with children's names tell the story of how, in just five years, a federal law with a funny name has changed school for everyone. "We spend most of our days talking about or looking at data," principal Barbara Adderley says.
Test scores run her week.
She meets with kindergarten teachers on Monday, first-grade teachers on Tuesday and so on. The meetings begin with a look at each teacher's "assessment wall," filled with color-coded Post-Its representing each pupil and whether he or she is making steady progress in basic skills. Once students master a skill, the Post-Its move up the wall.
"If they don't move, then we have to talk about what's happening," Adderley says.
What's driving the talk? President Bush's landmark education law, dubbed No Child Left Behind.
A cornerstone of Bush's domestic agenda and one of his few truly bipartisan successes, it took what was once a fairly low-key funding vehicle (it was known as the Elementary and Secondary Education Act before Bush borrowed the catchy name from the Children's Defense Fund) and turned it into a vast — and contentious — book of federal mandates.
The rules, the regulations further exacerbate the dilemma in America. Emotionally, intellectually, students separate themselves from school in the elementary years. We do not speak of this often; nor do we wish to notice. However, if we reflect on our own education, we know this to be true.
When we address the dropout rate of adolescents, as though this is the sole source of societal ills, or if we think the crisis occurs in the schools transpires in teen years, then we miss much. We have waited too long. There is ample reason the young disconnect. Adults are disengaged. They teach the children well.
In this nation, in Florida, as in all other regions, schools are strapped. The public does not wish to spend the time or money to correct a curriculum that might easily be changed. The population wants proof their hard earned greenbacks will see profits, even if the asset in nothing more than a piece of paper, a diploma that affirms, my child graduated.
Thus, policymakers work to establish standards in an attempt to prove the meager investments in education are well spent. Legislators present plans. Laws are passed in hopes of ensuring No Child Is Left Behind. Administrators implement these flawed programs. Ultimately, children suffer, as do the parents as they experience dreams deferred.
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
~ Langston Hughes
When I was a child, I dreamt of greatness. Adults often asked, what do you want to be when you grow up? I imagined myself engaged in meaningful missions. I longed to be a scholar, an academic, and a learned professor. I envisioned I would gather knowledge and share the wisdom. I trusted as I taught, I would learn. Even in my earliest years, I accepted life is an ever-expansive evolution. I never imagined that I would enroll in school only to memorize the mechanics. Sadly, in school, dreams are frequently deferred.
Once enrolled in a formal educational setting, I discovered erudition differed from my expectation. As a toddler, I was encouraged to be curious and creative. My questions were answered. People in my life thought my inquisitive mind was magnificent. My desire to discover was embraced. As I aged, this did not change. Mom and Dad delighted as we traveled down the path of knowledge together. Then there was school.
In educational institutions, authentic thought was discouraged. Test taking was promoted; the significance of an exam far exceeded the importance of a pupil. Nonetheless, I did not lose hope. My dream did not die. In my heart, inspired by my parents, and a teacher or two I continued to believe.
I studied on. Often, I wondered whether my work was in vein.
I yearned to inspire those that want to learn. I welcomed the wisdom of students. I understand that those I teach, teach me more. Yet, as the years went by, and the schools became more strident, as students spoke of how they struggle to succeed as defined by standards, I realized I could not; nor could others ever fully validate the invisible process of learning through test scores.
I recognized the anguish in children's expressions. I felt my own angst. The young knew, as do I. Rote is ridiculous. Mechanical memorization and scores on a test do not reap success.
Each day as I entered a classroom I saw smart students wince at the prospect of another meaningless exam. I observed the average pupil pass with little enthusiasm. I understood to my core the curriculum, as mandated by politicians, did little to interest, inspire, or invite scholarship.
I wondered, as does little Leonard, how often and why do we leave our children behind?
George W. Bush devised a program with a stated intent. America must close the achievement gap and Leave No Child Behind. Yet, the chasm expands and many children cannot succeed as they might. Perchance we must consider the dynamics that cause such failures.
In Leonard Hornbach's home state of Florida, citizens are outraged. Property taxes are too high. An older population does not wish to fund the schools. Playground fences are filled with billboards. Businesses supplement education budgets. An economy that serves the needs of tourist has but a modest concern for children.
Thus, the Governor, Charlie Crist calms fears by advocating property tax cuts. He does, as Americans do. He seeks facts to support their every decision and forgets that we cannot decide what is best if we only assess the dollars and cents. While it is true, financial ventures require greater scrutiny. Figures and formulas must be offered. Data must demonstrate there is a need to spend the big bucks. We can and will measure. However, the acquisition of knowledge cannot be calculated as other commodities might be. The slow and random process of learning is not mechanical. It is personal.
As Leonard's parents pose . . .
Kids can't vote, but you better believe they care and their futures are riding on the 2008 election . . . From the mouth of babes comes wisdom.For the upcoming presidential debate, this youngster demands answers from the potential Presidential candidates as well as you, the viewers who vote! Should we continue to accept just getting by and meeting the minimum standards in public education or demand more for ALL children?
Leave the ridiculous test taking curriculum behind and demand we move on to higher education! Your vote counts so deeply consider the educational plans of the 2008 presidential candidates as all our futures are really at stake. At what cost has No Child Left Behind unconstitutionally continued in America?
If society cannot gauge scholarly success, that does not mean there is none. The invisible quality known as knowledge will not be visible on a given date, and available in a particular moment, so that we, the elders might assess it on the day school administrators test.
Americans, we cannot think it wise to etch test scores in stone. A school or a student population survives or dies based on the results of a single examination.
Might we consider, too often adults, particularly those who are childless, or whose offspring have grown, do not wish to invest in our future. Children are a costly expense. Many think the community cannot and should not bear the educational burden. Families ought to furnish what their children need.
People frequently forget, our neighbors are our family. We share space. What effects one will effect us all. "Our" progeny when not prepared to thrive, flounder.
Young people who drop out of high school are unlikely to have the minimum skills and credentials necessary to function in today's increasingly complex society and technological workplace. The completion of high school is required for accessing post-secondary education and is a minimum requirement for most jobs. High school dropouts are more likely than high school completers to be unemployed.Crime increases when curiosity and creativity decrease. Schools, or more accurately students, do not survive when taxes and tests design the curriculum.Additionally, a high school diploma leads to higher income and occupational status. Interestingly, however, many youth who drop out of high school eventually earn a diploma or a GED. One study found that 63 percent of students who dropped out had earned a diploma or GED within eight years of the year they should have originally graduated.
Studies have found that young adults with low education and skill levels are more likely to live in poverty and to receive government assistance. High school dropouts are likely to stay on public assistance longer than those with at least a high school degree. Further, high school dropouts are more likely to become involved in crime.
Statistics do not demonstrate success. A pupil may pass a test after days of rigorous memorization. However, an hour after an examination, material that was not considered relevant fades from the mind.
Perchance we must teach the children, not merely test them. Let us not leave active minds behind.
Sources, Students, the Sadness . .
North Lawndale and the South Side of Chicago. By Jonathan Kozol
Washington Post. Thursday, May 10, 2007; A06
Washington Post. Thursday, May 10, 2007; A06
Posted by Betsy L. Angert on September 10, 2007 at 03:00 PM in Adult Influence on Children, Children, Education, Education or Economics, Emotional Intelligence, No Child Left Behind, School Days | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Historic Reversals, Accelerating Resegregation In City And Suburbs
copyright © 2007 Betsy L. Angert. BeThink.org
The mantra may be "teach tolerance." Yet, we teach our children intolerance. In America, we see Historic Reversals, [and] Accelerating Resegregation, so says a report released in August 2007. This study, conducted by Gary Orfield and Chungmei Lee, of the Civil Rights Project, University of California, Los Angeles documents what is evident throughout the country; racism is alive and well in America. Indeed, racial discrimination grows stronger each and every day. The most recent Supreme Court decision, handed down in June 2007, endorsed further racial divides. Parents Involved in Community Schools versus Seattle School District Number 1 et al, sanctions school segregation. For the most part, parents and the population at-large embrace this ruling.
People now have permission to do what they have long done, discriminate. We can predict, with consent from the highest court in the land, prejudice will continue to grow. Fractures and fissures will expand and the achievement gap will widen. Currently, forty-three [43] percent of American school children are not Caucasian. The education they receive has been sub-standard for decades.
Many segregated schools struggle to attract highly qualified teachers and administrators, do not prepare students well for college and fail to graduate more than half their students.
Integration in the few schools that have worked to improve opportunities for all, equally, has helped to a degree. However, for the most part non-whites cannot or are not easily enrolled in the better schools. Proximity and policies hinder any efforts to secure equivalent scholarship for students of color. The Supreme Court decision will only serve to exacerbate a dire situation.
In its June ruling the Supreme Court forbade most existing voluntary local efforts to integrate schools in a decision favored by the Bush administration despite warnings from academics that it would compound educational inequality."It is about as dramatic a reversal in the stance of the federal courts as one could imagine," said Gary Orfield, a UCLA professor and a co-author of the report.
"The federal courts are clearly pushing us backward segregation with the encouragement of the Justice Department of President George W. Bush," he said in an interview.
The United States risks becoming a nation in which a new majority of non-white young people will attend "separate and inferior" schools, the report said.
Even when the schools are supposedly integrated, they are not. Attitudes separate the races; reason and rational thought are but clouds, passing swiftly through the mind. Hearts and souls struggle to survive when segregation exists around every bend and under every tree branch. Subtle talk of lynching remains strong in society. We see it in the schools; children act out what adult say they reject; yet in reality project. We need only consider the circumstances of the "Jena Six" to support this notion. It's still about race in Jena, Louisiana.
Last week [July 2007] in Detroit, the NAACP held a mock funeral for the N-word. But a chilling case in Louisiana shows us how far we have to go to bury racism. This story begins in the small, central Louisiana town of Jena. Last September, a black high school student requested the school's permission to sit beneath a broad, leafy tree in the hot schoolyard. Until then, only white students sat there.The next morning, three nooses were hanging from the tree. The black students responded en masse. Justin Purvis, the kid who first sat under the tree, told filmmaker Jacquie Soohen: "They said, 'Y'all want to go stand under the tree?' We said, 'Yeah.' They said, 'If you go, I'll go. If you go, I'll go.' One person went, the next person went, everybody else just went."
Then the police and the district attorney showed up. Substitute teacher Michelle Rogers recounts: "District Attorney Reed Walters proceeded to tell those kids that 'I could end your lives with the stroke of a pen.'"
It wouldn't happen for a few more months, but that is exactly what the district attorney is trying to do.
Indeed the stroke of a pen may put six innocent children into prison. Young men, in the prime of their lives may realize what millions have known for centuries. In America, Black and Brown are not beautiful.
The Jena Six
This is obvious as we watch the daily debate in the halls of Congress and on television screens. Immigrants of color are not welcome. Fences are built to "protect" white Americans from their own fears. African-Americans are 'busted' merely for driving while Black. White citizens within the United States are apprehensive. Statistics show, soon, Caucasians will be in the minority. Indeed, the Black and Brown population is increasing. This is true in public schools, in our cities, and in the rural countryside. Breeding, just as much in society, belies logic.
Almost nine-tenths of American students were counted as white in the early l960s, but the number of white students fell 20 percent from l968 to 2005, as the baby boom gave way to the baby bust for white families, while the number of blacks increased 33 percent and the number of Latinos soared 380 percent amid surging immigration of a young population with high birth rates.Just as in centuries past, the poorest among us tend to congregate in ghettoes, not by choice, but in reality. The impoverished are often under-educated. They cannot secure quality positions in the workforce. Those that lack academic expertise and not empowered to do what might benefit them as individuals and society as a whole. Thus, they congregate in inner cities, live in substandard houses, and travel only as far as meager transportation systems allow. The disadvantaged do not have the opportunities the more affluent among us have.
As the indigent population increases, conditions worsen. Cities become more crowded, crime more prevalent, and students are less able to acquire knowledge. Division gives rise to greater discrimination. The cycle of separation is endless. Eventually, we spiral downward. Indeed we have.
The country’s rapidly growing population of Latino and black students is more segregated than they have been since the l960s and we are going backward faster in the areas where integration was most far-reaching.Under the new decision, local and state educators have far less freedom to foster integration than they have had for the last four decades. The Supreme Court’s 2007 decision has sharply limited local control in this arena, which makes it likely that segregation will further increase.
Americans love to label their country a "melting pot," a stew that combines races, religions, and creeds. However, this society is not nor has it ever been a delicious blend. Those that consider themselves cream, rise to the top. They take their friends and family with them.
The elite ethnic groups are well educated. Never would they wish to be identified as racist. Auspiciously, these affluent persons and those with less dollars, but beautiful pearly white skin write the books, prepare the dictionaries and define themselves, "color-blind." Yet, we know, they are not. In Jena, Louisiana, we recall that a Black student felt the need to ask if he might sit under a tree. In America, even nature is reserved for the white persons to enjoy.
The next day, hanging from the tree, were three ropes, in school colors, each tied to make a noose.Ah, that stew, and the cooks. When District Attorney Walters presumes and proclaims there are too many chefs. They have spoiled the broth and the soup must stand alone, it simmers on the stove, unattended. Finally, as the fire underneath the kettle heats the concoction, the mixture begins to boil. Sauce spills out and many are burned. Indeed, ultimately we all are. For as much as we wish to separate the parts, we are each part of the whole.The events set in motion by those nooses led to a schoolyard fight. And that fight led to the conviction, on June 28, 2007, of a Black student at Jena High School for charges that can bring up to 22 years in prison.
Mychal Bell, a 16-year-old sophomore football star at the time he was arrested, was convicted by an all-white jury, without a single witness being called on his behalf. And five more Black students in Jena still face serious charges stemming from the fight.
Caseptla Bailey, a Black community leader and mother of one of the Black students, told the London Observer, "To us those nooses meant the KKK, they meant, 'Niggers, we're going to kill you, we're going to hang you till you die.'" The attack was brushed off as a "youthful stunt." The three white students responsible, given only three days of in-school suspension.
In response to the incident, several Black students, among them star players on the football team, staged a sit-in under the tree. The principal reacted by bringing in the white district attorney, Reed Walters, and 10 local police officers to an all-school assembly. Marcus Jones, Mychal Bell's father, described the assembly to Revolution:
"Now remember, with everything that goes on at Jena High School, everybody's separated. The only time when Black and white kids are together is in the classroom and when they playing sports together. During lunch time, Blacks sit on one side, whites sit on the other side of the cafeteria. During canteen time, Blacks sit on one side of the campus, whites sit on the other side of the campus.
"At any activity done in the auditorium-anything-Blacks sit on one side, whites on the other side, okay? The DA tells the principal to call the students in the auditorium. They get in there. The DA tells the Black students, he's looking directly at the Black students-remember, whites on one side, Blacks on the other side-he's looking directly at the Black students. He told them to keep their mouths shut about the boys hanging their nooses up. If he hears anything else about it, he can make their lives go away with the stroke of his pen."
DA Walters concluded that the students should "work it out on their own." Police officers roamed the halls of the school that week, and tensions simmered throughout the fall semester.
However, sadly, the scars show more on darker skin. Nonetheless, we all are wounded. The pain wrought by an authorized and artificial separation affects every one of us.
It is true. Education and the economy are inexorably tied. If pupils in any population do not receive an adequate erudition, the entirety suffers, economically. We all feel the effects of segregation. What is in our cities and in our country is palpable in our schools. Circumstances in educational facilities are felt fiscally.
What white persons may wish to consider without the fear that currently drives them, is that they are never separate from those they prefer not to see. What they do to beings with Black and Brown skin will ultimately have an effect on their lily white bodies.
Caucasian Americans have a decision to make. They can choose harmony or continue to allow their trepidation to hurt them, to harm us all.
We are in the last decade of a white majority in American public schools and there are already minorities of white students in our two largest regions, the South and the West. When today’s children become adults, we will be a multiracial society with no majority group, where all groups will have to learn to live and work successfully together. School desegregation has been the only major policy directly addressing this need and that effort has now been radically constrained.While throughout the nation adults discuss busing or income based integration in the schools, we must realize that Band-Aids will never cover the lesions that lie beneath the surface. What we do in our schools mirrors what is done in our neighborhoods. If we are to truly prosper, Americans must accept and acknowledge that no matter the exterior color, beauty is within. Skin is surface. Depth is what we create when we educate our children. An educated person, Black, white, or Brown benefits him or herself, as well as us all.The schools are not only becoming less white but also have a rising proportion of poor children. The percentage of school children poor enough to receive subsidized lunches has grown dramatically. This is not because white middle class students have produced a surge in private school enrollment; private schools serve a smaller share of students than a half century ago and are less white.
The reality is that the next generation is much less white because of the aging and small family sizes of white families and the trend is deeply affected by immigration from Latin American and Asia. Huge numbers of children growing up in families with very limited resources, and face an economy with deepening inequality of income distribution, where only those with higher education are securely in the middle class.
It is a simple statement of fact to say that the country’s future depends on finding ways to prepare groups of students who have traditionally fared badly in American schools to perform at much higher levels and to prepare all young Americans to live and work in a society vastly more diverse than ever in our past.
Some of our largest states will face a decline in average educational levels in the near future as the racial transformation proceeds if the educational success of nonwhite students does not improve substantially.
Currently, the dropout rates are extraordinary. When young persons are not stimulated to think and are not expected to perform there is little reason to stay in school. Dollars may seem more attractive and meaningful to those adolescents that receive little in their local educational facilities. Whether greenbacks are appealing or not, in our society they are necessary for survival. Possibly, money motivates more than the young. I suspect, adults quantify their decisions based on budget. Therefore, let us look at education as a pocketbook issue. Perchance, the purse and its strings will garner some attention.
Broad policy decisions in education can be framed around a simple question: Do the benefits to society of investing in an educational strategy outweigh the costs?America, you decide. Will we continue to cultivate practices that endorse separate and unequal, or will we invest in integration. Many parents applauded the Supreme Court decision that allowed their progeny to stay close to home. Granted, the transport of students to schools far from the safety and sanctuary of the suburbs is less than desirable. However, if we do not fully, adequately, and equally educate those that have less wealth and fewer resources we will continue to grow poverty. Perchance it is time to ponder; people need people. Blacks need Whites. Browns require Reds, Yellow, and those whose skin is olive Green. In actuality, each of us does best when we acknowledge we are one.We [researchers at Teachers College, Columbia University] provide an answer for those individuals who currently fail to graduate from high school. The present cohort of 20-year olds in the US today includes over 700,000 high school dropouts, many from disadvantaged backgrounds. We investigate the economic consequences of improving their education.
First, we identify five leading interventions that have been shown to raise high school graduation rates; and we calculate their costs and their effectiveness. Second, we add up the lifetime public benefits of high school graduation. These include higher tax revenues as well as lower government spending on health, crime, and welfare. (We do not include private benefits such as higher earnings).
Next, we compare the costs of the interventions to the public benefits. We find that each new high school graduate would yield a public benefit of $209,000 in higher government revenues and lower government spending for an overall investment of $82,000, divided between the costs of powerful educational interventions and additional years of school attendance leading to graduation. The net economic benefit to the public purse is therefore $127,000 per student and the benefits are 2.5 times greater than the costs.
If the number of high school dropouts in this age cohort was cut in half, the government would reap $45 billion via extra tax revenues and reduced costs of public health, of crime and justice, and in welfare payments. This lifetime saving of $45 billion for the current cohort would also accrue for subsequent cohorts of 20-year olds.
If there is any bias to our calculations, it has been to keep estimates of the benefits conservative. Sensitivity tests indicate that our main conclusions are robust: the costs to the nation of failing to ensure high school graduation for all America’s children are substantial.
Educational investments to raise the high school graduation rate appear to be doubly beneficial: the quest for greater equity for all young adults would also produce greater efficiency in the use of public resources.
Pssst, someone please tell the Justices seated in the Supreme Court. Perhaps, they are too isolated to notice. Let us guide them to the window, ask them to look out onto the streets. People of all races, colors, and creed commingle in this country. If only they were encouraged to do so in the schools.
Schools, Segregation, Sources . . .
Posted by Betsy L. Angert on September 4, 2007 at 08:00 PM in Being Black in America, Black History, Past/Present, Children, Education, Education or Economics, Education, Effects of Poverty , Racial Discrimination, School Days, School Violence, Society, Students Minds Stopped, Teach The Children, “Melting Pot”? | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack
