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A Weighty Issue

copyright © 2009 Betsy L. Angert.  BeThink.org On February 15th, Barry boarded the plane.  He was deep in thought and noticed few of the people around him.  The prior evening had been exceptional.  This sensitive man celebrated Valentine's Day with friends, with family, and best of all with himself, a person he had grown to love and respect, an individual he barely knew for all of his life, himself.   More recently, Barry had become a more balanced individual.  He is now constantly on the move, not merely in a physical sense, but in a more real manner.  The successful businessman, the sensational father, the phenomenal friend, the scholar who climbed the career ladder well, in the not so distant past, never felt truly fulfilled.  Now, he thought of himself as a work in progress, a being who has transitioned beyond his wildest dreams.  Yet, he trusted there were still many roads to travel.  He wondered; would he make it.  On this day, unbeknownst to him, Barry would find his answer.  Yet, he would also be prompted to ask more questions.

Before the plane left the gate, Barry marveled; he had grown, and not in width.  No longer was his priority to please others, even at his own expense.  Barry believes now, as he always did.  It is best never to cause harm, not to others or to himself.  Self-sacrifice was once the way Barry barricaded himself.  He hid his emotions, his feelings, in truth, his fears.  When with others, he acted as though he was empathetic.  The people pleaser wanted to be identified as benevolent.  In a desire to avoid more authentic associations, Barry binged on food.  Early in his life, he grew fat.  Better to blame his weight for what he could not do, then place the onus on others. As he approached the plank, Barry became aware of those near him.  He began to ponder the persons in his presence.  He observed, in appearance, many of the passengers, were as he once was. Only two short years ago, he was among them.  He was an obese American, one of the almost 90 million exceptionally overweight citizens.  Then, when he thought of his weight, and all the ill effects his bulk caused he felt hopeless. Over time Barry has lost most of his bulge, today he again felt the pain of excessive pounds.  The plane full of people was too heavy to fly out as scheduled.  The weight of the aircraft dictated a necessary change.   The flight pattern would need to be altered.  Customarily, jets left to the East.  Aircraft passed over a power plant before the highest speed and preferred altitude was reached.  As a precautionary measure, a plane as heavy as the one Barry now sat on could not be allowed to soar low over an electrical grid.  Were the airbus to crash, surely, it would explode.  Sparks would set off fires.  Everyone on the plane would be killed.  Over the intercom, the pilot proclaimed, excessive weight could be a deadly issue. The crew and air traffic controllers would do what was needed to ensure safe travel. The plump passengers would not be publicly embarrassed.  Nor would any commuter be forced to feel responsible for the situation.  No one person or his or her poundage would be singled out.  Politely, the pilot presented the problem and assured all abroad, he and the tower had taken great care to secure a suitable solution.  The plane would take an alternative route over water, and all would be well. Barry reflected on what the aviators feared might be the future of those persons anxious to depart from south Florida.  He thought of how similar this situation was to his past.  The once rotund man understood.  In his own life, when he carried extra pounds, there was much he could not do safely.  Then, just as he did now, Barry accepted what was an awkward truth. In the initial moments, while on the taxiway, Barry was patient.  He endured as he had for most of his years.  Adjustments would be made.  Hours later, he, and the others would move forward, albeit a little more slowly than they would have was the plane not redirected.  Barry and the more bulbous passengers were comforted by the care and attention to detail.  A safe runway for departure, given its current weight, was all those on the aircraft wanted. Had the plane or more accurately the people on it, been a bit lighter the whole adjustment and delay would never have happened.  Nonetheless, what was, was, and that was alright for those aboard this plane, or at least it had been Nearly forty minutes earlier, the formerly corpulent Barry was among the hordes of people who boarded the aircraft.  Barry noticed a family, or three persons familiar with each other, were as he once was.  Each weighed over 275 pounds.  He thought; "There but for the grace of G-d go I."  Barry noticed others of various sizes and shapes, all large.  Yet, he thought nothing of their conditions or circumstances at the time they entered the plane.  He had other thoughts on his mind.  He wanted to return home.  Cuddle with the kitties.  Clean his house, Prepare for a busy workweek.  Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness were his only concern as the Valentine's Day holiday week ended. The more he had learned to accept himself as a unique and complete person, the less he allowed food sand drink to be his distraction.  He felt no need to dive into the free chips or cocktails the airlines offered.  Barry realized other sought solace in these complimentary sweets. People seemed pacified by food and the opportunity for greater folly.  Funny, Barry thought, in the past, if a plane were stuck on the ground, during last night's Valentine's Day festivities, or on any other occasion he too would have ingested chocolates as he suspected most on this plane would do.  On a day devoted to travel, as this one was, or on an evening dedicated to love, as last night was, Barry, his beloved, or the big woman who sat beside him on a 737, might have exchanged, "Sweets for the sweet." Thoughts of his blood-sugar and the adult onset diabetes that became his life long ago would have been ignored. A meal, a chance to steal a bit of snack time, life might be an excuse to celebrate togetherness.  One little innocent confection could do no harm. Not too long ago, Barry may have sipped an alcoholic nectar with those he cares for and who are fond of him.  Intoxicating beverages that build blubber certainly would have passed his lips.  He might have believed as many he knows still do.  People are less inhibited when drunk with delight.  Intimacy is more possible when the fruit from the vine imbibed. Many courses of flavorful fattening foods, a meal fit for royalty, surely would have graced a Valentine's Day table.  Today, on his tray table, condiments would have collected.  The best way to the heart is through the stomach.  The airlines knew that.  Perhaps, that is why the flight attendants walked through the cabin with baskets of peanuts and crackers.  No one would be upset by the delay if hunger was staved.  Surely, 24 months earlier, Barry would have been content to wait as long as the food kept coming.  He too might not have thought of a potential crash or the hazards of a weighty plane.   Barry pondered.  Possibly, for most of this crowd on the plane, his past habits were their present reality. Up until recently, Barry believed the pounds poured on to him as if by osmosis.   He did not deliberately seek out sweets, starches, or saturated fats.  They found him.  His refrigerator was full with what he saw in the markets.  Grocery stores were stocked with gooey goodies.  Restaurants served sumptuous delicacies.  Friends and family feasted upon fodder, all of it filling.  Wherever Barry went, it seemed he needed to only look at food, and the weight gain would follow.   Today, while on an airplane immobilized by the load it carried, he thought of his earlier bulk and that of others. Barry empathized.  He felt the pain of those who carry unwanted pounds.  He understood the challenges.  It is difficult to develop new habits or to think you can rise above the clouds when you are fat and forlorn.  Barry recalled how he had accepted much that was dealt to him when he was flabby.  What else could he do?  Not long ago, his options were limited, or so he believed. With much encouragement from the one he shared his Valentine's Day with this year, last year, and on the February 14th before that, he learned to believe in possibilities, in his own ability to eat, drink, and move through life differently.  His best friend had also faced weighty issues in her lifetime.  His life-partner's lengthy struggle with food, folly, and an inability to move forward was one he witnessed firsthand.  Barry watched the woman he knew so well work through her inertia.  She languished, anguished, and ultimately left her hefty sense of helplessness behind.  Her efforts helped Barry to believe that his life could be better. It was not so long ago, Barry began to exercise, to eat healthy foods, to free himself from the habits that hurt him.  Were he a plane, in the past, Barry's weight would have grounded him. Today, Barry knew he could not do as he had done years earlier.  He would not stay motionless.  Nor would he say nothing of the circumstances.  He would not resign himself as the load of commuters had.  He wondered whether his own history taught him that extra weight need not be a reality.  A heavier load need not be a burden to be endured. Unlike the 100 plus others, who seemed settled with the fact that they could not leave the ground, at least not for another two hours, Barry was not.  Just as he had decided not to settle for a life in which he battled his bulge, Barry concluded he would speak to the Captain.  He would ask the pilot to invite ten to fifteen passengers to leave the aircraft.  If this number deplaned, the usual traffic pattern could be put in place.  The persons who remained on the vehicle could travel safely and in a timely manner.  Those who voluntarily exited would not only receive recompense, they would also be assured a safer travel on a lighter plane. Once Barry voiced his willingness to make a change, to lighten the load, and to leave the aircraft, he was able to garner support from other travelers.  The pleased pilot said he would return to the terminal and allow the few to exit.  The crew was grateful for the diversion. They knew how the temperature and the tempers of those stuck on a plane, still, on the tarmac could rise.  The persons who stayed on the plane were elated.  Fat though most of these may have been, at least they would be able to move a bit more freely through the air with thanks to the benevolence of one who used to be as they were. Barry pondered the parallels as he walked through the airport.  He had hours to wander and muse as he waited for the next flight.  Determined not to be idle; a circumstance he disdained since he lost his own excessive weight, Barry walked.  As he strolled, he realized he would need to find nourishment.  His breakfast would not hold him through the day and into the evening when he would again board a plane. As he unsuccessfully searched for other than starchy, fatty, sugary foods in the airport, he became frustrated.  Barry realized there was not a restaurant in the building that carried healthy victuals.  He rented a handcart, placed his luggage on it, and briskly sauntered to another terminal.  He had time.  Besides, it was good to be able to move about and enjoy the sunlight. As he ambled about, Barry thought of how obesity affects the life of a plane or person.  He saw the many who sat stationary in the terminal.  Most of these individuals were chubby just as those on the plane were.  Barry realized he had been so concerned with his own weight issues he had not noticed what now seemed obvious.  In America, overweight was the new normal.  This point became more real as a security guard approached him. The officer told Barry he appeared suspicious.  Who was he to walk around the airport, to move about so freely?  People did not do that, not today, and certainly not in a terminal.  Barry shared the story of the plane too heavy to fly the normally prescribed route.  He explained it would be hours before he could board the next flight.  Barry said he last ate very early in the morning.  He was desirous of fruit, or some healthy food to eat.  The sentinel said, Barry was to do as the others, more weighty passengers had.  Sit.  Be still.  Pack on the pounds.  Build the bulge, and be satisfied with confections, soda filled with high fructose corn syrup, and starchy foods.  The security guard assured Barry, there was no fresh produce to be had on the premises.  "I have some Valentine's Day candy," the official said.  "Here, have a piece."  Barry smiled.  He said, "No thank you."  He walked on and wondered.  When is weight an issue for an individual, a culture, a country, or better still, why is it not? References for a weighty reality . . .  Percent of Americans Who are Obese,  Professors House. Q&A: Obesity.  British Broadcasting Company. March 17, 2006 Bulimia.  Anorexia. By Betsy L. Angert.  BeThink.

I Resolve . . .

Something Could Change

copyright © 2008 Betsy L. Angert.  BeThink.org Come 2009, I will commence on a new path. I will exercise regularly, smoke not at all.  A healthy diet will become my regime.  On Monday, January 5, my life mission will be realized in my work.  The opportunity to inaugurate again, to give birth to me at my best will inspire a rejuvenation.  Today, I resolve to . . . not make a single New Years resolution.  In truth, I never have committed to change.  Yet, the person you see before you is not the same being that might have appeared on any other day, of any other year.  I have evolved, and so do we all.

As the New Year approaches, I reflect on a reality I see and hear everywhere.  People far and wide seek a novel strategy, one that has never appealed to persons such as I.  Most everyone is ready for a new reality.  Individuals are intent.  Now is the time to begin anew.  Resolutions are rampant.  

No matter where an individual might reside, the calendar motivates people to review, reflect, and revise schedules that did not work as well as once envisioned.  Pages in an almanac pass, and people presume, surely, these sheets of paper were meant to show signs of progress.  Most ponder; twelve months of misery or mindless maneuvers.  It is time for a change.  Yet, the mantra few admit to on January 1st, is the one individuals maintain throughout their lives, 'people do not change.'  Experts espouse there is evidence for this belief.  

Dr. Edward D. Miller, Dean of the medical faculty at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, refers to the more than 70 percent of coronary bypass patients who revert to unhealthy habits within two years of corrective surgery. Although two-thirds of Americans believe they weigh seventeen pounds more than their ideal weight, few are able to shed the pounds.  In a recent study, nutritional specialists at Duke University affirmed that two-thirds of dieters gain back any lost weight within a year.  

While more than seventy-four percent [74%] of the Americans who are willing to confess, they smoke express a desire to give up the habit, 67% of these say they are addicted to cigarettes.  Even the most sanguine studies state "20 to 40 percent of participants are able to quit smoking and stay off cigarettes for at least one year."  For nearly everyone, a New Years Resolution is no more than a trial declaration.  People propose; "I will try."  Rarely do individuals voice a determined decision to do.

As I said, I never did.  My fear of failure secured my silence.  Personally, while it appeared that I battled with unhealthy habits, these were not my genuine challenge.  My fear for the change I thought would never come, a career that fosters contentment, a close connection with a compassionate someone who would not suffocate me, a personal sense of fulfillment were the greater challenges.  

Severe trepidation told me I could not achieve as I believed best.  Even if I thought the impossible probable in time, I trusted that a resolution would not help me realize a transformation.  Some might have said I was resistant, resigned to life as it was.

Certainly, Marion Kramer Jacobs, a Clinical Psychologist in Laguna Beach, California could concur with such a conclusion.  Doctor Jacobs offers the decree, defeatist yearn to hear.  "We're hard-wired not to change quickly."  She declares; "Think of what chaos would ensue if you could snap your finger and change instantly tomorrow. You would be one person today, someone else tomorrow."

The author of "Take-Charge Living: How to Recast Your Role in Life . . . One Scene at a Time," is cited amongst those who contend the challenge to change may have evolutionary origins.  She and other experts in human behavior surmise, mankind is accustomed to hierarchies.  Rules, regulations, [even traditional resolutions] inform us.  Societal structures require us to know our roles and perform them dutifully.  Oh, how we do.

Governments guide us.  Policymakers pass laws.  People obey.  Entrepreneurs employ us.  Bosses bark of business strategies.  Supervisors boom orders to subordinates.  Laborers walk in lockstep.  Families flourish when parents lead the little ones.  Therefore, the accepted theory seems to be a person cannot change without assistance.  Community, career, and domestic counselors count on this conviction.

Constituents are elated change has come in the form of a new President, Barack Obama.  

Small business owners are advised  if they follow a profound plan, they too will be transformed.  "Clarify and Simplify," create an action plan for your workforce, soon all will be well.  Certainly, a focused staff with will reap fiscal rewards.  

Experts also seek to assist employees.  Articles and airwaves are filled with plans,  Again Americans are presented with secrets for success.  Follow this strategy and realize your dreams; secure your resolution.  Persons accustomed to being told what to do read essays such as, What says 'hire me!' to employers.

Dieters are delivered dictums.  The plump are given programs to eliminate the excess pounds;  5 small changes to help you lose weight.  Yes, fat persons, just as those fit to be tied by debt, an addiction to cigarettes, alcohol, or other penchants, are ready to follow the steps anyone might present.   The hope is they might avoid another year of harrowing habits.

"Most of us think that we can change our lives if we just summon the willpower and try even harder this time around," said Alan Deutschman, the former Executive Director of Unboundary, a firm that counsels corporations on how to alter business agendas.  Mister Deutschman, author of "Change or Die," declares in his diary, while most people have the ability to alter behaviors and attitudes, they rarely do.  "It's exceptionally hard to make life changes and our efforts are usually doomed to failure when we try to do it on our own."  

Perchance that is why most turn to friends or more frequently family for moral support.  Authorities who admit a personal life is not as predictable as supposed facts, figures, and formulas might pretend it to be, give parents recommendations that provide greater flexibility.  As 2008 exits, and 2009 enters, Moms and Dads are invited to resolve that they cannot solve every problem. This is the truth most people believe.  Good intentions, while admirable, do not achieve results.  Yet, men, women, and children never stop trying to transform others or themselves.

Perchance, rather than accept the rituals, adopt our roles, or obligate our selves to rules that dictate a future of failure, we might resolve to recognize that change comes slowly.  Transformation travels from within.  Growth is a process.  Dreams are not realized in an instant.  

As infants, we did not walk or talk.  Toddlers have few tales to tell and narrate none exceptionally well.  Children can make choices; however, by the time they are teens the decision to run out into the street, against traffic, may not seem wise.  Little humans change constantly, as do bigger-in-mind-and body beings.

Young adults will assess all they knew again and again.  What a woman or man, in her or his twenties, thinks is best may not be what the same individual at thirty would advise.  Resolve, as I have, no matter the day or eve, New Year, or old, that rather than bemoan the research that elucidates why eighty percent [80%] of people will not successfully embark on self-renewal projects, embrace that you are, just as I am, not as we were.  Tomorrow, we will not be as we are.

I resolve to remember change is a constant.  My path is well traveled.  At times, I tripped.  I fell from the healthier course and then I picked myself up.  Harmful habits went by the wayside with help from me.  Friends, family, and experts may have lent a hand.  However, they could not do what only I could achieve for myself.  On this, the First day of January, I resolve to recall that I have evolved.

Resources for Resolutions . . . 

• Average American Weighs 17 Pounds More Than "Ideal." By Frank Newport. Gallup. November 28, 2007
• Most Americans Consider Smoking Very Harmful. Gallup. July 28, 2008
• Smoking Cessation.  American Heart Association. January 1, 2009
• So, you've lost 100 pounds. Now what? The struggle to stay slim doesn't end, even after the fat pants are gone, By Bonnie Taub-Dix, R.D.  MSNBC News. April 18, 2008
• Planning for a Happier New Year, By Paul B. Brown.  The New York Times. December 30, 2008
• Parenting Resolutions, By Lisa Belkin.  The New York Times. December 31, 2008
• New Year, New You? Nice Try, By Alex Williams.  The New York Times January 1, 2009
• Poll: Obama leadership rates high as Bush's after 9/11, By Paul Steinhauser.  Cable News Network. December 31, 2008
• 5 small changes to help you lose weight.  Cable News Network.  January 1, 2009
• Smoking, weight, money top New Year's resolutions, By Adam Crisp. The Chattanooga Times Free Press.  MSNBC News. January 1, 2009
• Blame brain for failing to keep New Year's resolution.  Daily Telegraph. December 31, 2008
• Experts warn against going cold turkey.  Daily Telegraph. December 31, 2008

Americans Have No Choice; A Diet of Fats, Salts, Sugars

copyright © 2007 Betsy L. Angert. BeThink.org

'Tis the season to be jolly. From Thanksgiving Day to the dawn of the New Year, Americans are encouraged to eat. He, she, you, and I are expected to fritter our fears away. We will worry not of weight gain, heart attacks, coronary artery disease, strokes, or diabetes. Citizens in celebration will gorge on and gulp down millions of morsels. Americans will eat, drink, and be merry with reckless abandon. There are some expressed concerns for food safety, especially after a year of scares; however, for the most part we will dine with delight.

Then, come the First of January we will do as we did last year and the year before, we work to munch more wisely. Most of us will make a conscious effort to decrease the fats, salts, and sugars in our daily diet. Individuals throughout the country will convince themselves it is only a matter of self-control. We can eat well if we decide to. Citizens in the USA believe what they ingest, how, and when is a choice. In the land of the free, and home of the brave, we boldly do, as we desire. Here, in America, there are food choices galore, or so we are led to believe.

However, since the late twentieth century Americans have actually had a very limited selection. They, we, are not free to dine as we might. Our menu is extremely restricted. We can chew on Acidulants, enriched Baking Aids and Mixes, luscious Cocoa and Chocolate, chemical Emulsifiers, Texturants, and Stabilizers, refined Flours, "organic" Nutrition Ingredients, [meager when available], processed Oils and Fats, palatable Protein Products, and "naturally" Sweeteners. If we wish to ingest more wisely, we can; that is, if we are up to the challenge. In the States, the Recommended Daily Allowance is wrought with ruse.

The public professes they want no government in their lives, or more importantly, on our dinner plates. Yet, Americans accept that administrative authorities must regulate to ensure that what we eat is truly safe. Federal Officials are necessary and tolerated in moderation. Indeed, Americans actually appreciate the Food and Drug Administration.

According to a survey of 30 federal agencies being released today, consumers asked about the FDA's performance believe that food labeling is useful, clear and understandable, that consumer alerts of food safety issues are useful, and that customers trust FDA to ensure food safety in the future . . .

The survey asked about the usefulness and clarity of food labeling; customer awareness and the effectiveness of inspecting, testing, and labeling efforts; and the usefulness of consumer alerts; meats and poultry are regulated by USDA.

In addition to consumers' positive views of the food label and FDA's ability to ensure that food is safe, the survey also indicated that the FDA should increase public awareness of actions to ensure food safety and focus on awareness efforts during consumer alerts.

Despite the claims of contentment, for the most part Americans resent government influence in their daily lives. Americans are independent minded mavericks. Granted, we are grateful for the small favors the Food and Drug Administration affords us; however, we want no more assistance than we deem suitable. Citizens in this country are selectively scrupulous.

Americans prize and advocate a free enterprise system. We want the freedom to decide for ourselves what is best. Where food is concerned, citizens of this civilized nation want to preserve their right to choose. We welcome the rise of an innovative industrialist who might introduce an ingredient into the mix. A crunchier cookie, a sweeter soda, tastier tenderloins, a savory sauce, and a flavorful fondue, all are appreciated in abundance.

Cakes, cookies, crackers, pies, bread, potato chips, corn chips, popcorn, salad dressing, breakfast cereal, margarine, and animal products all taste good to the average American.. Regardless of the warnings, that each of these manufactured or mechanically prepared foods contain trans-fatty acids, are high in sodium, and are filled with high fructose corn syrup, those in the Western World continue to consume these tidbits with fervor.

Intellectually, we may know trans-fatty acids, salts, and sugars are hazardous to our health. We sacrifice some. Nonetheless, we do so slightly or on occasion. Mostly we gorge, gulp, guzzle and stuff our gullet with these gems and then die.

Clogged arteries might cause our demise. A heart attack could end our life. Obesity may do us in. Still we say, we rather eat fats and be happy.

Scientific evidence shows that consumption of saturated fat, trans fat, and dietary cholesterol raises low-density lipoprotein (LDL), or "bad cholesterol," levels, which increases the risk of coronary heart disease (CHD). According to the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute of the National Institutes of Health, more than 12.5 million Americans have CHD, and more than 500,000 die each year. That makes CHD one of the leading causes of death in the United States.

People say they might as well enjoy now. After all, we will all pass eventually. An additional year or two will not make a difference. The quality of our life is what matters. Besides, any true danger is moderated by the system.

In this agri-industrialist nation, we trust that if a corporation wishes to make a profit, they must and will keep the consumer in mind. That construct alone will guarantee quality. When it does not, then, the government will step in to preserve safety . . . well sort of.

Years ago, Josh joyfully ingested his early morning Egg McMuffin ™ in a Fifth Avenue McDonalds. As he ate, he read the news. An article in The New York Times, screamed for his attention. Hold That Fat, New York Asks Its Restaurants. He thought of how much he loves his partially hydrogenated oil filled foods. Joshua would not wish to be deprived of the greasy flavors that warm his belly. The young gent contemplated what might this announcement mean to him. Then, Joshua concluded, he need not worry. At least Gotham City officials give restaurateurs a choice. Proprietors will cater to what the their customers crave; thus, the world will continue to turn as it has.

Months later, a content Joshua sat in his overstuffed chair and snacked on a bag of Doritios®. He could not imagine a life more complete. Suddenly, that tranquil sense of calm disappeared. A radio announcer declared our democratic right to choose would be constrained. The broadcaster bellowed, New York City Plans Limits on Restaurants’ Use of Trans Fats. The earlier "request" had done nothing to reduce usage of the hazardous oils.

The Board of Health vote comes a year after it conducted an unsuccessful campaign to persuade restaurants to eliminate trans fats from their recipes voluntarily. It said yesterday that despite mass mailings about the hazards of trans fats and training programs for 7,800 restaurant operators, about half the city’s restaurants continued to serve trans fats, about the same as before the campaign.

Trans fats, derived from partially hydrogenated oils, became popular in the 1950’s as an alternative to the saturated fats in butter. They allow fast-food restaurants to use frying oil for longer periods and make crunchier cookies and flakier piecrust. They also have a longer shelf life than butter, olive oil, corn oil or other alternatives.

Joshua became extremely concerned. He exclaimed aloud, "What is this a Police State?" Eatery entrepreneurs have a right to serve what they believe is best. Customers can digest what they think delicious, or at least they could in some municipalities. In time, concern for the health of a crowded community increased. Last year, during the holiday season, a peaceful Josh took in the decorations in his favorite restaurant. He dined with delight. After he ate, Joshua released his belt buckle. A friend seated across from a full and sleepy Josh inquired, had he heard, New York Bans Most Trans Fats in Restaurants.

The usually quiet chap was aghast. Now officials in this cosmopolitan metropolis had gone too far. How and why would a municipality choose to restrict what the people consume? Josh began to ponder how all this change might affect him personally. He thought of the mashed potatoes and gravy, he consumed only moments ago. Would he be deprived of such tasty fare in the future?

Certainly, the potatoes would not taste as sumptuous if they were prepared differently. Joshua reveled in the delicacy just as he had been for decades. The recipe as is, is wonderful, this fit fellow thought. Joshua belched. Then he pondered; the dozen or so doughy delights he digested moments earlier. These goodies would never be the same. Joshua dreamt of the cookies, cakes, and creams he just ordered for desert. The word "Ridiculous!" rolled trippingly off his tongue,

"No one has the right to tell me what I can consume. It is my life, my body, and I will take care of it as I see fit." In a huff he continued, "I eat a little bit of everything; it is called a well-balanced diet." "No matter what we gulp down or scarf up, it all turns into sugar once in our blood stream." "All food is natural." This news is preposterous." "Who has the authority to tell us what to eat or drink?" The government is already too involved in our lives. "Let them eat what they like and I will munch on what brings me pleasure." Does the Constitution not grant us liberty and the pursuit of happiness? "I want to be left alone, to be free to be me."

Joshua grappled with what seemed inevitable change in his diet. He wondered, "What is all the fuss about trans-fatty acids? Are there not more important issues of concern?" Almost immediately, he received an answer. Another blow brought Joshua to his knees. A condiment that he was certain could cause no harm was listed as injurious to his health.

It was not an e coli spinach scare that altered his awareness. Salt shocked his sensibilities. What could be more safe than salt? For goodness sake, this savory substance sits on his dinner table.

A hulk of a man, Josh knew, to spill salt is an ominous sign. He understood, since the beginning of time, people believed if they were to waste the commodity considered as valuable as gold, certain misfortune would follow them into the future. Still, this gent never thought there was anything to fear from the sodium substance. Such mythical legends have lived long. As Joshua mulled over the latest revelation, he laughed, he acted as though he believed if he were to carry salt, or throw the small white crystals over his shoulder, he would be assured the best of luck.

A jovial Josh has long assumed the want of good will was the reason we poured the crystalline element on every entrée. Good flavor or good fortune; both together might be wondrous. This healthy man was aware the traditional use of this prized substance is in question. However, he never imagined, the Food and Drug Administration would contemplate a serious and severe crackdown on the zesty zinger of a spice. Yet, as Joshua perused the paper and listened to radio and television reports he learned . . .

Putting the Pinch on Salt, Medical Groups at Odds Over Proper Solution to Sodium Problems
By Carla Williams

ABC News Medical Unit
Nov. 29, 2007

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration is holding a public hearing today to determine whether to place federal limits on the salt content of processed foods, such as canned soups and breakfast cereals.

The hearing comes at a time when medical experts are becoming increasingly concerned over the amount of salt contained in many foods on grocery store shelves, including products not normally associated with salt.

For example, said Dr. Randall Zusman, associate professor of medicine at the Harvard Medical School, a bowl of one popular cereal brand may pack more of a sodium punch than many consumers realize.

"One cup of Cheerios -- frequently advertised as heart healthy -- has 300 milligrams of salt," he explained.

"No one eats only one cup, so two to three cups each morning would be nearly 50 percent of your daily allotment. Yet, the FDA allows Cheerios to be advertised as a healthy alternative."

But while most agree that the excess salt in the diets of many Americans poses significant health risks, experts in the medical community remain divided over what should actually be done to address the problem.

Some agree with advocacy groups and believe that the FDA should require stricter labeling for manufactured foods. Such labeling could take the form of warnings placed prominently on the packaging of high-sodium foods.

But others think the focus on salt regulation is misdirected and say that the FDA should address more harmful elements of the American diet and lifestyle, such as obesity.

The American Dietetic Association, for one, has spoken out in favor of stricter product labeling to tackle the problem.

My goodness; Cheerios, a food that Americans such as Josh ate to protect themselves from a coronary crisis may actually place them at risk for a heart attack. What, and whom, can we trust. Do we do as we are told or as the specialists do?

Physicians often gobble just as regular folk do. We have seen stout surgeons, rotund nurses, hefty dieticians, and even a lean doctor dine on junk. Our spouse may insist we eat healthy; yet, he or she does not. Acquaintances swig and swallow whatever they wish. No one seems to suffer serious repercussions at less not while in our range of vision. Thus, we conclude there is little reason to change. People are just overly cautious. Certainly, federal, state, and city officials are wary without cause.

A mild mannered Joshua was familiar with the cautionary tone of doctors. He heard his wife whisper her concerns. For years, medical professionals and his Mom expressed their angst when they discussed his fervent application of this sour, yet sharp, condiment. Josh reduced his use; although admittedly he wondered whether there was reason to do so. Oh, sure, Joshua saw the advice columns. Caveats called him, or at least those who love him suggested he read the literature.

University of Maryland Medical Center, expert on hypertension, Dr. Stephen Havas, states, high-salt diets cause 150,000 premature deaths in the United States each year. Heart attacks, coronary artery disease, and strokes are the frequently result from obesity, high blood pressure, and the perilous pre-hypertension. Each of these afflictions can be traced to the intake of salt. Havas declared there is an imperative need for the Federal Health authorities to reduce sodium consumption.

However, contrary to what this and other physicians think wise, most persons in this civilized country retain the attitudes of their ancestors. Americans are as the rugged individualists, or at least, Joshua was and is. Our countrymen can take whatever is dished out. Salty, sweet, or saturated in oils, citizens of this wild and western nation have the stomach for it.

Americans are independent and we like it that way. No government agency, guy, or gal in a white lab coat will tell US what to eat. They certainly will not dictate to Joshua what he eats. In truth, the Food and Drug Administration does not tell us what is best to consume. Nor do they closely monitor corporate claims; although they would wish us to believe they do. Joshua trusted that his food was safe with thanks to this industry watchdog.

Fake Food Fight
by Paula Kurtzweil

"It is true that you may fool all the people some of the time; you can even fool some of the people all the time; but you can't fool all of the people all of the time."
--Abraham Lincoln

When it comes to fraudulent food in the marketplace, Lincoln's sage observation has certainly rung true. In the Food and Drug Administration's experience, when hucksters try to cheat Americans out of millions of dollars of genuine foods, their schemes are ultimately exposed by a sharp-eyed consumer, a competitive industry, or FDA itself.

Known as economic adulteration of food, this practice involves using inferior, cheaper ingredients to cheat consumers and undercut the competition. And even though the 1938 Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act specifically bans it, economic adulteration persists, challenging FDA's resourcefulness to remain vigilant against it.

In recent years, FDA has sought and won convictions against companies and individuals engaged in making and selling bogus orange juice, apple juice, maple syrup, honey, cream, olive oil, and seafood.

According to Martin Stutsman, a consumer safety officer in FDA's Center for Food Safety and Applied Nutrition, FDA relies heavily on industry and consumers to help identify instances of economic fraud.

What businesses will not do for money. Artificial adulterants put much dough in many a breadbox. The Food and Drug Administration discovered some producers sold, what they said was pure orange juice; however, the beverage was loaded with corn syrup or beet sugar. Dairy cream was, in fact, corn oil. Corn syrup passed for honey. Bottles of horseradish were actually containers of potato starch. Salt mixed into water was advertised as milk. Scallops, an expensive delicacy on occasion was found to be water worked into sodium tripolyphosphate (STP).

The fake foods, [mixtures of trans fatty acids, salts, and sugars] may yield temporary financial benefits. However, what qualifies for natural, and approved, fodder feeds fills more pockets than the illegal imitations ever did. Corn syrup found in a product labeled pure orange juice is considered an adulterant. However, when the same sweetener is listed on a can of orange flavored juice the Food and Drug administration thinks that fine.

There is a delicate balance between healthy and harmful sustenance. Equilibrium is difficult to maintain when the scales are tipped in favor of corporate influences. For many in the Food and Drug Administration dough is more flavorful than moral fiber might be.

Former FDA Investigator Exposes Aspartame As Deadly Neurotoxin That Never Should Have Been Approved
Can Republish, Namaste, Vol 6, Issue 1,UK

Many policies, I found out, were not made to protect the public health, but rather, to provide leverage at appropriation time before Congress, and to protect the industry and their political government. This is especially true when they were paid for their 'services' by the pharmaceutical or chemical industries. This is what I call 'social cancer'.

Many systems for protecting the public health are (were) less than effective . . . making very little difference on public health issues. Much of it was for 'show' and for funding. It was the folks in Rockville and Washington who made the final decisions on how to play most of these issues out. Unfortunately for us, it was not to favor the public health processes. The entire process reeks of political and corporate influence.

If Americans had the time or energy to do more than eat what is easily available they might notice how ubiquitous industry is in our diets. Advertisers have captured our attention.

"Shouldn't your baby be a Gerber baby?" "Trix are for kids." "Keebler. Uncommonly Made, Uncommonly Good." "Mmm Mmm good. That’s what Campbell’s Soup is; Mmm good." "Subway. Eat fresh." "Taco Bell. Think Outside the Bun." "McDonalds. I'm lovin' it," and you do, we do. We are trained to eat prepared foods from birth. At Burger King, we can have it our way. At Kentucky Fried Chicken, we can trust it is finger lickin’ good. At Subway, we can "Eat fresh." If only we knew what that was.

Manufacturers and marketers choose what we consume. High fructose corn syrup is an ingredient is most American food. Many Americans, sadly, a vast majority, do not even know what unprocessed fruits and vegetables truly taste like. Apples? That is the crisp, wet fare under the caramel. Tomatoes top pizza. Strawberries and cherries await your bite when you sink your teeth into that piece of bittersweet chocolate. Squash and pumpkins grace the doorstep during the Fall holidays. Spinach is for cartoon characters. Potatoes, yum-yum. This starchy crop, when deep-fried is absolutely ambrosia.

Even when we think we are ingesting only wholesome fare, surprise, we discover, there is more to the meal than meets the eye. The local bakery still creates healthy doughy fare. The smell of fresh baked flour and yeast reminds us that quality food does exist. Have you read the ingredients on baked goods? Let us consider the plainest of plain preparations, a bagel. The elements that go into this not so enticing ring of dough are numerous. Unbleached flour (wheat flour, malted barley flour), water, dough conditioner (sugar, salt, malted barley flour, molasses, mono & diglycerides, ascorbic acid, L-cysteine, azodicarbonamide, enzyme, ammonium chloride, DATEM, potassium iodate, brown sugar, yeast.

As we study the marketplace we realize, what satisfies our senses is not so sensible.

In the 1980s, manufacturing methods improved, prompting a boost in production of high-fructose corn syrup and a drop in price to just pennies below that of refined sugar. "While that may not sound like much to the average consumer, when you consider how many pounds [the soft drink industry buys], it was millions of dollars if not hundreds of millions of dollars in savings," says Drew Davis, NSDA's vice president for federal affairs.

The switch made economic sense and, as Davis notes, "back then, there was no suggestion that high-fructose corn syrup was metabolized differently" than other sugars. More recent research suggests, however, that there may be some unexpected nutritional consequences of using the syrup. "Fructose is absorbed differently" than other sugars, says Bray. "It doesn't register in the body metabolically the same way that glucose does."

For example, consumption of glucose kicks off a cascade of biochemical reactions. It increases production of insulin by the pancreas, which enables sugar in the blood to be transported into cells, where it can be used for energy. It increases production of leptin, a hormone that helps regulate appetite and fat storage, and it suppresses production of another hormone made by the stomach, ghrelin, that helps regulate food intake. It has been theorized that when ghrelin levels drop, as they do after eating carbohydrates composed of glucose, hunger declines.

Fructose is a different story. It "appears to behave more like fat with respect to the hormones involved in body weight regulation," explains Peter Havel, associate professor of nutrition at the University of California, Davis. "Fructose doesn't stimulate insulin secretion. It doesn't increase leptin production or suppress production of ghrelin. That suggests that consuming a lot of fructose, like consuming too much fat, could contribute to weight gain." Whether it actually does do this is not known "because the studies have not been conducted," said Havel.

Another concern is the action of fructose in the liver, where it is converted into the chemical backbone of trigylcerides more efficiently than glucose. Like low-density lipoprotein -- the most damaging form of cholesterol -- elevated levels of trigylcerides are linked to an increased risk of heart disease. A University of Minnesota study published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition in 2000 found that in men, but not in women, fructose "produced significantly higher [blood] levels" than did glucose. The researchers, led by J.P Bantle, concluded that "diets high in added fructose may be undesirable, particularly for men."

Other recent research suggests that fructose may alter the magnesium balance in the body. That could, in turn, accelerate bone loss, according to a USDA study published in 2000 in the Journal of the American College of Nutrition.

We can thank the Food and Drug Administration for our fodder, and we can express our gratitude to Archers Daniel Midland, the mother or father of invention. A financial crisis in the parent company led the this corporation to merge and grow beyond their wildest dreams and ours.

In 1971 [Archer Daniels Midland] purchased Corn Sweeteners, Inc., producer of high-fructose syrups, glutens, oil, and caramel color. Corn Sweeteners brought good returns for Archer Daniels Midland and increased the company's finished-food capabilities.

Currently we can find Archer Daniels in most every "finished-food" option. Bread and brews are loaded with high fructose corn syrup. Cereals, before the flakes are frosted, are filled with the fluid. Spaghetti sauce is supplemented. The sugary additive makes up a substantial portion of this tomato-based product. Sodas are essentially high fructose corn syrup, as is . . . [name your food of choice.] While high fructose corn syrup is good for earnings, it endangers human health.

Loading high fructose corn syrup into increasingly larger portions of soda and processed food has packed more calories into us and more money into food processing companies, say nutritionists and food activists. But some health experts argue that the issue is bigger than mere calories. The theory goes like this: The body processes the fructose in high fructose corn syrup differently than it does old-fashioned cane or beet sugar, which in turn alters the way metabolic-regulating hormones function. It also forces the liver to kick more fat out into the bloodstream.

The end result is that our bodies are essentially tricked into wanting to eat more and at the same time, we are storing more fat.

Sheer will power must be our guide, for certainly the Food and Drug Administration does not point us in the direction of good health. Nor do the conglomerates have our best interests at heart. Most Americans believe given a choice, people buy what they sense their body craves. Unfortunately, few acknowledge that certain foods create a chemical reaction that fools the physiology and the psyche.

No mysterious ingredient. The Cadbury's secret is out. Chocolate is drug-like in its effect. Artificial taste explodes in the mouth with crunchy, smooth, sweet flavors, supplying intense pleasure. Every texture and nuance of taste contrived to stimulate your 9,000 taste buds into sending pleasure signals to the brain. The intensified pleasure effect is addictive. We don't care about the additives or empty calories. Chocolate junkies crave a fix, driven by the desire for that chocolate pleasure. Pleasure for which we will pay any price, even our health.

Chocolate bars are loaded with salt, sugar, caffeine and fat, up to 300 calories per bar. Like a body demanding heroin for its balance, the body will crave sugar, salt and fat. Take candy from a sugar junkie, and look out! Quitting causes withdrawals. Remove sugar, processed fat or salt from your diet, and you will crave them. You will go through the discomfort of facing withdrawal similar to the withdrawal from drugs.

Humans hunger for sweets. We are extremely fond of fats. Salt is savory. Eons ago, our bodies learned to love what would help us survive in the wild. We needed the weight and the energy. The habits of our ancient ancestors now seem innate. Food and chemical industry leaders know this. They exploit our obsession for the flavors that excites the palette and satisfy the electrical impulses within our gray matter; thus, expanding their profits.

Physiologically we cannot resist. Psychologically, we are easily swayed. Financially, we turn our fate over, and fortunes are made. Most of us forget what we once knew before our brains and bellies were filled with trans-fats, salts, and sugars.

The story of how the most basic questions about what to eat ever got so complicated reveals a great deal about the institutional imperatives of the food industry, nutritional science and — ahem — journalism, three parties that stand to gain much from widespread confusion surrounding what is, after all, the most elemental question an omnivore confronts.

Humans deciding what to eat without expert help — something they have been doing with notable success since coming down out of the trees — is seriously unprofitable if you’re a food company, distinctly risky if you’re a nutritionist and just plain boring if you’re a newspaper editor or journalist. (Or, for that matter, an eater. Who wants to hear, yet again, "Eat more fruits and vegetables"?) And so, like a large gray fog, a great Conspiracy of Confusion has gathered around the simplest questions of nutrition — much to the advantage of everybody involved. Except perhaps the ostensible beneficiary of all this nutritional expertise and advice: us, and our health and happiness as eaters.

Hence, dear Josh, if you do not wish to be controlled by the government or the corporate kings and queens, if you wish to eat well, remember, to look beyond what seems to be your freedom to choose. Do not travel to the eateries that serve only what they know will leave you yearning for more. Do not frequent food pantries that prefer you be fat. Venture not into the aisles of processed ambrosia. If you wish to be free from the thought police and those that place temptation on the plate, carefully consider foods that are not fake. You can enjoy real foods, unprocessed provisions, and your health if you truly peruse the labels, make meals from scratch, and ask for more than just the menu when you dine out.

Bon appetite Josh. A happy and healthy holiday, every day to all, and to all a good night.

Satiated, Satisfied, and Sources . . .

• 2007: Let’s Eat, Not Fuss. By Frank Bruni. The New York Times. December 26, 2007


• The Price of Food Safety. The New York Times. December 22, 2007


• Next Year's Diet Books, By Andrea Sachs. Time Magazine. December 10, 2006


• Doritios ®


• Customer Satisfaction Results For The Food And Drug Administration Announced. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services December 13, 1999


• Fake Food Fight. By Paula Kurtzweil. Food and Drug Administration. March April 1999


• McDonald's USA Ingredients Listing for Popular Menu Items. Corporate McDonald's.


• Sugar coated, We're drowning in high fructose corn syrup. Do the risks go beyond our waistline? By Kim Severson. San Francisco Chronicle. Wednesday, February 18, 2004


• pdf Sugar coated, We're drowning in high fructose corn syrup. Do the risks go beyond our waistline? By Kim Severson. San Francisco Chronicle. Wednesday, February 18, 2004


• Former FDA Investigator Exposes Aspartame As Deadly Neurotoxin That Never Should Have Been Approved, Can Republish, Namaste, Vol 6, Issue 1,UK


• Unhappy Meals, By Michael Pollan. The New York Times. January 28, 2007


• pdf Unhappy Meals, By Michael Pollan. The New York Times. January 28, 2007


• Sweet but Not So Innocent? High-Fructose Corn Syrup May Act More Like Fat Than Sugar in the Body, By Sally Squires. Washington Post. 
 Tuesday, March 11, 2003; Page HE01


• pdf Sweet but Not So Innocent? High-Fructose Corn Syrup May Act More Like Fat Than Sugar in the Body, By Sally Squires. Washington Post. 
 Tuesday, March 11, 2003; Page HE01


• New York City Plans Limits on Restaurants’ Use of Trans Fats, By Thomas J. Lueck. New York Times. September 27, 2006


• pdf New York City Plans Limits on Restaurants’ Use of Trans Fats, By Thomas J. Lueck. New York Times. September 27, 2006


• Hold That Fat, New York Asks Its Restaurants, By Marc Santora. New York Times. August 11, 2005


• pdf Hold That Fat, New York Asks Its Restaurants, By Marc Santora. New York Times. August 11, 2005


• New York Bans Most Trans Fats in Restaurants, By Thomas J. Lueck and Kim Severson. New York Times. December 6, 2006


• pdf New York Bans Most Trans Fats in Restaurants, By Thomas J. Lueck and Kim Severson. New York Times. December 6, 2006


• Spinach and E. Coli Outbreak. US Food and Drug Administration.


• pdf Superstitions about Salt. The New York Times. December 31, 1883


• FDA contemplating crackdown on salt, The AMA, which says Americans should consume 50% less sodium, has joined consumer groups asking for government intervention. By Ricardo Alonso-Zaldivar. Los Angeles Times. November 29, 2007


• pdf FDA contemplating crackdown on salt, The AMA, which says Americans should consume 50% less sodium, has joined consumer groups asking for government intervention. By Ricardo Alonso-Zaldivar. Los Angeles Times. November 29, 2007


• Salt: The Forgotten Killer. Interview by Michelle W. Murray. University of Maryland Medical Center.


• Corporations Control Your Dinner, AlterNet.


• DATEM, Wikipedia.


• Food Ingredients. Archer Daniel Midland


• Vegan Nummies Panera Bread.


• Are We Really Force Fed? By Gard Goldsmith of the Ludwig von Mises Institue. July 30, 2004


• Your Food Addiction is Great for Business. Healthy Recipes.

Bulimia. "Control," Not the Means Nor the Mission [Chapter Seven]

Carousel of Romance™ Top Revolving Carousel Musical Globe

Copyright © 2007 Betsy L. Angert. BeThink.org

She heard it said every time the topic was brought up. The words flow from their mouths as the food did from hers. Terminology spills into the sink of the uninformed and ignorant just as her fare did almost immediately after she swallowed it. Resembling her refusal to digest what she ate, they reject what is offered to them. Bulimics do not do as they do so that they might feel in control. While marinating in a myriad of feelings and flavors, a binger that purges is not exerting his or her desire to control. She cannot. She knows this all too well.

In the same way an athlete understands, muscles have memory she recognizes a little practice goes a long way. The first time might have been a choice. The second was a consideration, followed quickly by an almost unexpected upheaval. After that, there was no need for a prompt. The cycle was complete. She was on a carousel cemented in concrete. She could not get off this ride. Oh, how she tried.

For her physiology, neurology, and biology were forces to be reckoned with. Psychology played a part, particularly on that first day. There were so many feelings she wanted to avoid. That evening she stuffed her face, inhaled her meal. Surely, food would relieve the pain.

Her stomach was bloated. She felt sick. Fingers were not necessary. She just threw up. After, she felt better, temporarily. In those moments, she was not thinking 'this would be gratifying or great.' She only wanted the ache to end. It did. The throbbing in her head, her heart, and her body went away for an instant.

She could not and did not control the hurt coming on; certainly, she was not controlling its egress. In actuality, the anguish only increased. Her life became a series, a sequel of events, repeated over and over again.

She awakes and thinks of food as she goes about the day. Thankfully, since transitioning from anorexia to bulimia the thoughts are not as overwhelming. Puking allows her to eat, and eat, and eat again and again. Indeed, she has become an eating apparatus. She consumes and is consumed.

Each day she must make time for her doings. She purchases her provisions. She buys enough to feed a few, perhaps, throngs of people. Preparing the fare will be full-filling for as she cooks she chomps on those condiments that need no roasting, toasting, baking, boiling, or frying. She controls nothing more than the temperature of the comestibles.

However, much must be done before she can fully engage. She has to drive or walk hauling her heavy load, pabulum for the voracious. As she strolls or struggles to maneuver the curves on the road, she begins her antics. Bananas are best for this part of the process. Should there be an accident she will be less worried if only fruit sits in her stomach. The long yellow crop exits the system easily. Some foods do; others do not.

Knowing what will settle in the belly too deeply to be retrieved and what is pliable enough to take leave on command is important. A scientist such as she is never able to fully control the chaos that is life. There is much to consider and manage. She learned long ago, nothing is truly manageable. Control is but a myth and she has no illusions.

In those early days, she choose to chew nuts while in transit. Cashews are beyond delicious. Brazil nuts are not bad. Peanuts are good-a plenty. Nevertheless, she learned. Too many of these, if the travel is long, or if the unexpected occurs, will not sit well. She might worry. Bulk gnaws at her. What if she cannot relieve herself in time? Besides, teeth crumble under the pressure. This delicacy is too hard on the enamel. After a fracture, a fissure, and the final falling out of dentine she forfeited the practice.

Once home was in sight, the excitement increases. Still there was much to do before she might genuinely begin. The groceries needed to brought in. Imagine taking bag after bag into the house, then the kitchen. She is a clean person and prefers to avoid chaos at all costs. The items must be put away. Some went directly into the stomach. Others filled cabinets.

The cupboards were never bare. She back-stocked. The idea of withdrawal, not having what she craved haunted her, even when not at home and not indulging or ingesting. This young woman would never suffer; it was contrary to her every belief. Yet, in truth she knew. She was agonizing. Nothing was in her control, not her thoughts, her actions, her feelings, and certainly, not her life.

After all was ready for her attention, there was more to be done before she could focus. She needed to dress in her throw-up clothes. She had a full wardrobe just for this purpose. As a fabric lost its resiliency, it was placed in an honored bin, a treasure trove. Shirts, sweatshirts, shorts, tee shirts, and pantaloons graced her body before the ceremony began. She cleaned these fibers each evening. She is a traditional soul and cherishes rituals.

Next, though she revels in sunshine and light, she needed to seal herself off from intruders. She did not wish to be discovered. Doors and windows were locked and sealed. Drapes and shutters were closed. Blankets, sheets, cardboard, and planks of wood were used to bar peekers from seeing beyond the shade. She wanted no one to view what was within.

Heaven knows what others might think if they knew what was going on inside the house, in her mind, heart, body, or soul. There are gaps between the wall and the window frame you know. She must eliminate these, close herself off. Try to control the uncontrollable, the unruly, herself, her life, her feelings, most importantly her hurt.

That did not happen. With each passing day, she was more distressed. The agony deepened. The doings had more power over her than she had over them.

The only consolation was, bingeing and purging were far easier than not eating. When she was an anorexic, she had less control or so it seemed. Starving a body starves a mind. Without nutrients or nourishment, growth and learning were less possible. She loves learning. She always has.

The lesson she now comprehends to her core is bulimia has nothing to do with a need to control or be in control. There is in reality no such possibility. Probabilities are chance. Any scientist will tell you we can only control for what we can predict. We can never fully understand the chaos of the universe. She certainly did not grasp hers. All that she was sure of was she was out of control.

She recognizes that she has no power. She tries to flee from her feelings. That is her deepest desire. Weight is not the issue. It is a derivative, a diversion. She longs to take flight. At last, she is organized. The great escape can begin!

Dear reader, you may wish to peruse Chapters One through Six. Please do. These reflective diaries discuss my life as an anorexic, bulimic, a person.

The Beginning. Bulimia and Becoming [Chapter One]

Bulimia. A Bit Becomes a Binge [Chapter Two]

Binges Build A Being, Separate From Self [Chapter Three]

Hiding the Food. Hiding The Feelings, Hiding Me [Chapter Four]

The Satiated Stomach. The Study Of Food [Chapter Five]

Bulimia. Wait! It is Not My Weight [Chapter Six] Or Similar Discussions . . .

I Am An Anorexic, Bulimic, A Person!

When Will I Be Right? Is It Ever Okay To Be Me?

Weight. Balancing Fat with Feelings, Habits With Health.

Bulimia Builds Bitterness and Bridges

Addiction? Habits? No Laughing Matter. Ferguson On Spears

© copyright 2007 Betsy L. Angert

Please ponder this presentation. The film may provide a fertile foundation for deeper thinking. Eye To Eye With Craig Ferguson On Spears

In my earlier missive, The Price of Addiction. Bush and War I went out of my way not to discuss "dependencies" as though they were obsessions, habits out of our control. I did not wish to define a fixation as a tendency that could be easily contained. Personally, I believe there are physical, physiological, psychological, neurological, environmental, ecological, and emotional components that cause us to do as we do and think as we might. Every entity and each element effect our thoughts, words, and deeds.

From my reading, research, and experience, I surmise there are many influences. Billions of determinants stimulate our hearts, minds, souls, and bodies. Chemicals etch pathways in the brain. Muscles have memory. We cannot clearly determine if any one occurrence is the catalyst for another. Avenues are opened and ignored. Trails are cleared and some take the trek. On any given journey participants will realize starkly different realities. Conscious choice is truly a challenge. The mind detects less than what occurs. Humans miss more than see, hear, or feel.

Yet, although I tried not to engage in a dialogue that might be controversial, I received a comment on another site questioning my use of the common term "addiction." Please allow me to say, I accept that I know little. I understand nothing with certainty.

I recognize that the mind and body can and do embrace habits. I have consistently indulged in many unhealthy activities. I participated in numerous wise and wonderful patterns. What worked well for me, ensures my safety, sanity, and stability remains mine. The behaviors that once caused great harm, I happily left behind.

Last week, the mainstream media blasted the airwaves with talk of a tragedy. I did not plan to speak of Britney Spears and her demeanor. I was sad for her, for her children and her family. I felt that Miss Spears was screaming out in agony, and we as a society were laughing at her expense. Britney may have been asking for attention, as many assume. I applaud her for knowing that she needs help. We all do!

Life affords us many lessons. We can learn none of these alone. Every individual mirrors another. When we reflect or relate to others we open doorways that we might never imagine. I believe and have long stated, "Empathy is the best educator."

Today I was reminded of a moment I thought stellar. A comedian, Craig Ferguson, mentored many with his words of wisdom. Please ponder this insightful interview and share your thoughts. If you have an experience with what is commonly called "addiction," please recount your tales. I trust your thoughts will teach others. If you are as I am, what you say or write may enlighten even or especially you.

The Price of Addiction. Bush and War

© copyright 2007 Betsy L. Angert

Please view the video presentation. Do the Math. What might The Cost of Iraq truly be?

Chapter and verse has been written on George W. Bush and his history of addictions. None doubt his alcohol abuse. The President speaks of this obsession often. His own struggle to stop drinking may have endeared him to many voting constituents. People in America can attest to their own struggles with alcohol dependency. Some feel certain George Bush did his fair share of cocaine; perhaps, it was another drug of choice. It seems marijuana was part of the party boy's bingeing. Currently, and for the last twenty plus years our President has been clean. George W. Bush is sober and possibly no longer addicted to intoxicants, unless we are speaking of war.

I am told killing and defeating personal enemies can be exhilarating. I know not. I think none are my foe, forsaking my own fixations. I do know that many, myself included believe they have addictive personalities. When I relish a pastime, I truly do. However, I do not believe in the contention, "Once an addict; always an addict." Although, I acknowledge many do. People can present a panoply of reasons to support their claim. Rationale for such a belief is abundant. Nevertheless, I am of the mind that habits can be left behind permanently. No replacements are necessary.

Over the course of my life, I have indulged in much that was unwise and unhealthy. However, each of my habits was pursued simultaneously. Slowly, I rejected one after another, until they were all gone. I accept that my life and stories are my own. Yours or George's may be different.

However, I do assert as a friend, familiar, or family of an addict I would not be willing to support the habit of a devotee. I wonder; would you happily bankroll the drugs, the booze, or the food that feeds the addiction of another? I have, out of "necessity," sponsored my own abusive practices. Still, I surmise supplying the obsessed is unwise. The habit will not die easily as long as it is fed. Part of what helped me work through my addictions was the need to consciously consider the cost.

Drowning our sorrows in sauce, escaping in amphetamines, or feasting on foods until your body can hold no more is expensive. Spreading democracy to satisfy an ego or to leave an impressive legacy takes quite a toll. Trillions of dollars are necessary to continue this compulsion.

Money is not the only concern when we assess addiction. The damage done to the devotee is awful enough. The harm that comes to those the addict encounters is immeasurable. When a person chooses to engage in abusive habits many are hurt.

Thus, I ask, do we really wish to support an unhealthy practice? Consciously or not, we do. We fund the President's habit. American citizens, Congress, or we the people sponsor the war in Iraq.

I do not believe in tough love; nor do I think behavior modification releases a person from their dependency. I think each of these "treatments" offers only a temporary solution. The hair-of-the-dog and drug therapies delay deliverance; however, these methods do not suppress a desire. I maintain we must choose for ourselves when or how we work through our addictions.

George W. Bush chose his path. Mister Bush mentions that turning to the Lord, locating a place of faith contributed to his healing. In 2005 . . .

Bush, a Methodist who credits his religious faith for helping him stop drinking and handle the demands of his job [said] "There's all kinds of ways to quit drinking," he added in remarks to a March conference of faith-based social service providers, "but one of the most effective ways to quit drinking is for a person to make a choice to go to a place that changes your heart."

George W. Bush may be "right." For some, faith can move mountains. Yet, a strong belief in the Lord does not seem to help with George's current fixation.

G-d, Jesus Christ, and President Bush's belief in these miracle workers does not dissuade this man from evil doings. George W. Bush violates the Commandments daily. The tablets proclaim, "Thou shalt not kill." Yet, George W. Bush does. This man is responsible for murderous acts. He encourages mass slaughter. These reactive behaviors do not benefit a nation, a world, or even an individual. What seems to be another addiction for George W. Bush is devastating the globe and we are paying for it.

I do not understand what motivate us, as a nation. I do not comprehend what moves Congress to act as they do. Iraq war veterans are against this war. Some of these soldiers were elected to office in hopes that they would find a way to stop the blood bath. Freshmen members offer words of wisdom; yet nothing changes.

"We stand together to tell this administration that we are against the escalation, and to say with one voice that Congress will no longer be a blank check to the president's failed policies," said freshman Rep. Patrick J. Murphy (D-Pa.), who was a captain with the 82nd Airborne Division in Baghdad. "The president's plan to send more of our best and bravest to die refereeing a civil war in Iraq is wrong."

We are still funding a failed war effort. The argument is that if we stop supplying the dollars we will not be supporting the troops. The troops themselves dispute this claim. However, members of the House and the Senate fear the people will not believe this is true. It seems Americans do not recall this action has been taken in the past.

A new report from the Center for American Progress details how, over the last 35 years, Congress has passed bills, enacted into law, that capped the size of military deployments, prohibited funding for existing or prospective deployment, and placed limits and conditions on the timing and nature of deployments.

Hell did not freeze over; however, with global warming it might. George W. Bush does speak to our addiction to oil and recently relented that America's compulsion to consume may be adding to the affect. Still, I digress.

For some reason the charismatic Vice President Cheney and his partner in war crimes George W. Bush have a hold on Congress; thus, negating the "power of the purse."

Vice President Dick Cheney has made it clear that he does not believe Congress has much to say about the war in Iraq, in particular, or about foreign policy in general.

With repeated assertions that the country "cannot run a war by committee," the man who defended the Reagan Administration's Iran-Contra wrongdoing and counseled the first President Bush to omit consultation with Congress before launching the Gulf War of 1991 has established the current administration's view regarding which branch of government is in charge when it comes to warmaking. "The president is the commander in chief," growled Cheney in a recent appearance on Fox News. "He's the one who has to make these tough decisions."

President Bush has dutifully echoed Cheney's line with clumsy but apparently heartfelt references to himself as "the decider."

Were it not for the small matter of the Constitution, the Vice President and his charge might be convincing on this matter.

Unfortunately for these transitory occupants of the White House, the Constitution affords them no comfort.

The document is clear in its language: "The Congress shall have the power... To declare war, grant letters of marquee and reprisal, and make rules concerning captures on land and water; To raise and support armies, but no appropriation of money to that use shall be for a longer term than two years; To provide and maintain a navy; To make rules for the government and regulation of the land and naval forces; To provide for calling forth the militia to execute the laws of the union, suppress insurrections and repel invasions; To provide for organizing, arming, and disciplining, the militia, and for governing such part of them as may be employed in the service of the United States, reserving to the states respectively, the appointment of the officers, and the authority of training the militia according to the discipline prescribed by Congress..."

If that makes it sound as if control over matters military was placed squarely in the hands of the House and Senate, then the founders succeeded in communicating their intent. James Madison and the other authors of the Constitution were exceptionally blunt about their hope that the president would serve as a mere commander-in-chief, implementing the directions of the Congress with regard to the targets or military actions, the characters of those actions and their durations.

The founders bluntly stated their fears about executive excess in a time of military conflict. "War is in fact the true nurse of executive aggrandizement," warned Madison, who explained that, "In war, a physical force is to be created; and it is the executive will, which is to direct it. In war, the public treasuries are to be unlocked; and it is the executive hand, which is to dispense them. In war, the honors and emoluments of office are to be multiplied; and it is the executive patronage under which they are to be enjoyed; and it is the executive brow they are to encircle. The strongest passions and most dangerous weaknesses of the human breast; ambition, avarice, vanity, the honorable or venal love of fame, are all in conspiracy against the desire and duty of peace."

The Constitution was written "to chain the dogs of war" by founders who believed it essential that the endeavor be "run by committee" -- with the legislative branch fully empowered to check and balance the ambition, the avarice and the vanity of the executive.

Perchance the forefathers also predicted the possibility of delusion and dependence. The writers of the Constitution may have known that a President can easily become addicted to power. S/he may have an uncontrollable desire to conquer every entity in his or her path. It seems George W. has this proclivity, and we, the people support him. We honor this Commander with title of Chief. The American people and their Representatives ignore the penchant of this President. We give him dollars so that he may do his deleterious deeds. Knowingly, we walk with Mister Bush down a path of destruction!

Why? Why are we willing to let a man that has a history of unhealthy habits lead us into battle. More importantly, why do we fund such folly?

I beg; I plead; write your Congressman or woman. Place a telephone call to your Representatives. Sign every and any petition. Speak to your friends and family; ask them to assist you in your quest. Let us stop this insanity; exit Iraq. End this war! Do not allow this President, drunk with power, to dip into your purse. Send the troops home before more harm comes to them. Please help save your fellow humans from a fate that need not be theirs. I thank you for caring.

Reasons to Reflect on George W. Bush and his Fixations . . .

Addiction, Brain Damage and the President, "Dry Drunk" Syndrome and George W. Bush. By Katherine van Wormer. CounterPunch.

Bush Gets Stoned by the World Media, U.S. Press Less Interested in Drug Remarks. By Jefferson Morley. Washington Post. Thursday, February 24, 2005; 6:00 AM

pdf Bush Gets Stoned by the World Media, U.S. Press Less Interested in Drug Remarks. By Jefferson Morley. Washington Post. Thursday, February 24, 2005; 6:00 AM

George Bush's Addiction to Nuclear Weapons, By Lawrence S. Wittner. George Mason University. History New Network. April 11, 2005

The Trouble With Tough Love. By Maia Szalavitz. Washington Post. Sunday, January 29, 2006; B01

pdf The Trouble With Tough Love. By Maia Szalavitz. Washington Post. Sunday, January 29, 2006; B01

Behavior Modification: Does It Work? © 2002 by Brian Thomas. Courtesy of the Family-Content Syndicate

Two Fronts in the War on Poverty, Bush Seeks More Aid for Church Groups; Others Face Uncertainty. By Michael A. Fletcher. Washington Post. Tuesday, May 17, 2005; A01

pdf Two Fronts in the War on Poverty, Bush Seeks More Aid for Church Groups; Others Face Uncertainty. By Michael A. Fletcher. Washington Post. Tuesday, May 17, 2005; A01

House Begins Debate On War, A Partisan Divide On Bush Troop Plan. By Jonathan Weisman.Washington Post. Wednesday, February 14, 2007; A01

pdf House Begins Debate On War, A Partisan Divide On Bush Troop Plan. By Jonathan Weisman. Washington Post. Wednesday, February 14, 2007; A01

VoteVets.org

Iraq Veterans Against the War.

FACT CHECK: Congress Has Repeatedly Placed Limits On Military Deployments And Funding. Think Progress.

Center for American Progress

What Congress Can Do. By John Podesta and Lawrence J. Korb. The Center For American Progress.February 21, 2007

"Exercising Congress’s Constitutional Power to End a War." By John Nichols. The Nation. January 29, 2007

Posted by Betsy L. Angert on February 26, 2007 at 11:01 AM in Addiction, Aggression, Bush 43 Administration, Change the World [Within], Congress and Bush, Current Affairs, Iraq War, Policy, Shrubs Grow. What of Bush’s, United States Constitution, Wars Bush Commanded | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

I Am An Anorexic, Bulimic, A Person! ©

Once you label me, you negate me.
~ Soren Kierkegaard [Danish Philosopher]

An article in the New York Times grabbed my attention instantly.  It appeared in the health section.  The title, One Spoonful at a Time.  This writing was heartfelt. Author, Harriet Brown tells a gripping tale.  It took me to memories of my own struggle with anorexia and bulimia and how these affected my family.  In this exposé, the dilemma of how to treat the condition was thoroughly discussed.  I wish to share my response to this situation and story.  My personal experience of this is vast.  I hope my thoughts, realizations, and rejoinders on this topic will be helpful to those grappling with similar issues.  I trust that the effects of anorexia and bulimia are trials and tribulations for all those afflicted by these.

The subject of weight alone is a sensitive probing.  An individual need not starve, binge, or purge in wrestling with weight.  On the same day another New York Times essay loomed large entitled "Big People on Campus."  This commentary contemplated the plight of being "fat."  I was once that too.  Many may muse in this moment, all anorexics believe they are chubby, and while that may or may not be true, I actually was at times in my life.  My weight rarely was stable; nor was I when reflecting upon it.  However, my weight was never the issue; it was a distraction, a symptom of what was within. 

I read the articles mentioned above, then, when I turned on the television and saw a report on the increasing male bulimic and anorexic population, and as I listened to a discussion focusing on the media, and the message of being thin, I wondered.  Why are Americans obsessed with their weight and avoiding the truer concern?

Americans spend billions of dollars on books, diet programs, professional weight trainers, and behavioral experts that might deliver them from "evil" otherwise known as "eating disorders."  Some recount, "I eat too much," others muse, "I eat too little."  There are those that think they do not make healthy choices, those that believe themselves fine; their family worries about their physical condition.

I lived in a plump body; a buff body, a slender body, and one that was sickly thin.  As a child I over ate.  It was what most members of my family did.  As an adolescent, I dieted.  That is what teenagers do.  However, weight was not the trepidation it appeared to be.  My problems with body image were not pressing; nor did my peers influence me.

It was my life at home, in my heart.  Much was disquieting.  My parents were together; yet, they were not.  My natural father was rarely home and when he was, it was not fun for me.  My sisters were close in age and seemed to have a connection with me; however, it felt incomplete.  For me, school began at an early age.  I love learning and welcomed the opportunity; still, there were demands, those I placed on myself.  Life progressed and it seemed perfect.

I had goals, visions, and dreams.  In my late teens, I wanted to lose my virginity.  That seemed the natural progression, at least in my neighborhood, or among my peers.  Oddly enough, a young man began paying attention to me.  This may not seem unusual; yet, it was.  Those that are closely familiar with my ways and thoughts recognize that this was quite striking.

I was never "boy crazy."  I had no thoughts of marriage or even being in a relationship.  I was and still am extremely comfortable with my own company.  Perhaps, I am a little too independent.  While I have always had very close friends, I was not one to seek physical intimacy.  I did not need company or companionship.  It could be imposing.  I needed time to be me.  Nevertheless, this gentleman delighted in my presence.

Yes, we did "connect;" we did the deed; still he wanted more!  Imagine that!  Eric wanted a real relationship, with all the bells and whistles.  I later learned Eric wanted to marry me.  Years, before realizing that his intention was to wed, I freaked.  When confronted with the fact that he wanted us to spend all our time together I panicked.

Eric was and is an extraordinary man.  Physically, he is quite the "looker," not my type.  I love brains; brawn does little to warm the cockles of my heart.  He is kind, tender, and evenly tempered.  Eric is infinitely considerate, and amazingly enough, he does love to learn.

Women fell for him, flocked to him, and fought for his attention, all but me.  Initially, I just saw him as a vehicle for losing my virginity.  I never expected he would fill my mind.  I did not plan to take time and be with him beyond the bed.  I never imagined he would enter my heart.  Yet, he did and that scared me.  I put on weight, lots, and lots of pounds.  I did this as I do most things.  I am exceptionally thorough.  If I am to do a job, I will do it incredibly well.  I grew fat!  Perchance, obese might be a better word.  Eric said nothing.  He still wanted to be with me.

Now, what was I to do?  All this weight, I wore poundage that poured over the edges of my clothing.  I was uncomfortable in my body.  I needed, no wanted to loose all this excess mass.  I began dieting.  I did it well depending on your standard, and not well, if health is a main concern.  At first, I only wanted to lose what I had gained.  I did this.  Then as the pressures of life grew, my apprehension for food and what would follow were I to eat it grew.

Years passed, as did my obsession with weight and food.  After a time, apprehension for my impending graduation from college consumed me.  The more I thought about this the more I struggled.  Careers, professions, being more a part of the "real" world, more responsible for my self, it all seemed a sacrifice.  What was I to do or be now?

While attending the University, I never hesitated.  I chose my majors and pursued each discipline with zeal.  My course of study never changed.  However, I never expected to graduate.  That was not part of my plan.  I had no desire to leave the sanctuary of school.  I first enrolled in classes at the age of two.  Academia was the world I knew.  What next?

Next, or soon, I would become a statistic.  Not unlike the "Kitty" in the tale her author mother, Harriet Brown tells.  I was anorexic.  Ultimately, that lifestyle was too difficult.  Starving my self was such a struggle.  I chose bulimia instead.  I "thought" that would be an easier avenue to pursue.  It was not.  I had no control over my life, my weight, my worries, my ways.  A person such as myself that prefers infinite tranquility, found herself in a world of chaos, chaos I created!

For decades my family deliberated, what would they do?  What could they do?  Some pondered what had they done.  Who was at fault and would the circumstances ever change?  There was much guilt, theirs, mine, and ours!

I share this revealing story with reason.  Harriet Brown, the parents, the professionals in her tale all do as people customarily do.  They look for facts, quick fixes, simple solutions, thirty-second spots, immediate gratification, and spontaneous change.  I acknowledge the year or more this family invested in re-parenting and feeding their child; one spoonful at a time was overwhelming.  Yet, in the end, wonderment still fills the void of not knowing.

Ms. Brown discusses in depth the niche, a role, the pondering, the play, the place, and the label each person holds.  Yet, for me, she misses the nuances.  The world within will determine whether Kitty again chooses an addiction with food or the lack of it.  I believe and experience that our compulsions cannot be broadcast through numbers.  I understand the fascination with facts, the need to look for answers.  Nevertheless . . .

Programs may not be profound no matter what they cost or what their supposed success.

we asked Kitty's pediatrician where her other anorexic patients went for treatment.  "When they're this sick, they go away," she said, referring to inpatient eating-disorder clinics, where people often stay for two or three months.  The nearest was an hour away and cost $1,000 a day, most of which would not be covered by our HMO.

There is ample reason for alarm.

Anorexia is one of the deadliest psychiatric diseases; it's estimated that up to 15 percent of anorexics die, from suicide or complications related to starvation.  About a third may make some improvement but are still dominated by their obsession with food.  Many become depressed or anxious, and some develop substance-abuse problems, like alcoholism.  Almost half never marry.  It is thought that if anorexia is not treated early on, during adolescence, it tends to take an average of five to seven years for the person to recover - if it happens at all.

There are behavioral modification plans and they tout great success.

Among the few studies done on anorexia treatment, I came across one from 1997, a follow-up to an earlier study on adolescents that assessed a method developed in England and was still relatively unknown in the United States: family- based treatment, often called the Maudsley approach. This treatment was created by a team of therapists led by Christopher Dare and Ivan Eisler at the Maudsley Hospital in London, in the mid-1980s, as an alternative to hospitalization.  In a hospital setting, nurses sit with anorexic patients at meals, encouraging and calming them; they create a culture in which patients have to eat.  The Maudsley approach urges families to essentially take on the nurses' role.  Parents become primary caretakers, working with a Maudsley therapist.  Their job: Finding ways to insist that their children eat.

The two studies showed that 90 percent of the adolescents recovered or made significant gains; five years later, 90 percent had fully recovered.  (Two other studies confirmed these results.)  In the world of eating disorders, I was coming to understand, this was a phenomenally high success rate.

Yet, I think it is essential to consider what works for one person may be the kiss of death for another.  I personally, would have rebelled and reacted more overtly had my parents spent their every waking hour with me, as the Brown's did.

I would not have felt loved, quite the contrary.  I would have felt as though they did not trust me.  I grew up in a family whose primary principle was "No one has the right to tell you what you "should," think, say, do, feel, or be!"  Granted coupled with this was the belief, "Do whatever makes you happy, as long as it does not hurt anyone" and of course, my reactions were hurting everyone; nonetheless, they were mine to choose.  In my mind and in the family I was raised in, it was accepted, in order to learn we must error.  It is part of our evolution.  To force another to be, as we believe is best gives them no room to grow and discover for themselves.

Harriet Brown acknowledges that

The idea that parents should be intimately involved in the re-feeding of their children can be quite controversial, a departure from the conventional notion that the dynamic between parent and child causes or contributes to the anorexia.  Many therapists advocate a "parentectomy," insisting that parents stay out of the treatment to preserve the child's privacy and autonomy.  They say that a child must "choose" to eat in order to truly recover.

However, she chose to believe as Maudsley advocates "no one else knows the child as well or has the same investment in the child's well-being.  She states, "That felt right to us."

As I read Ms. Brown's re-counting, I was continually struck by the specifics of the feeding process and the lack of luminosity.  There was so little of Kitty's feelings expressed.  While I trust that her parents spoke to her of her fears, apprehensions, and worries, the details of these discussions were not shared with the reader.

As I reflected on Kitty's approaching entrance into high school, my own memories flooded my mind.  I knew while living through anorexia and bulimia, it was never about the weight.  It was the wait, the anticipation of the unexpected, unknown, unidentified, and unfamiliar.  It was the strange, the strain, the mysterious, and the mystifying musings that strangled my soul!

I do understand the dynamic; the habit becomes the pattern etched into the brain and physical memory.  I comprehend the ever-present question, which comes first the chicken or the egg.  I recognize the theories

Over the last few years, most eating-disorders researchers have begun to think that there is no single cause of anorexia, that maybe it's more like a recipe, where several ingredients - genetics, personality type, hormones, stressful life events - come together in just the wrong way.

What I think is in error is the prospect presented by

Maudsley practitioners say that focusing on the cause is secondary, ultimately, because once the physiological process of starvation kicks in, the disease takes on a life of its own, unfolding with predictable symptoms, intensity and long-term consequences. Anorexics become almost uniformly depressed, withdrawn, enraged, anxious, irritable or suicidal, and their thinking about food and eating is distorted, in part because the brain runs on glucose, and when it has been deprived over a long period of time, when it's starved, it goes haywire.  It's important to get the patient's weight up, fast, because the less time spent in starvation, the better the outcome.  Adult anorexics who have been chronically ill for years have much poorer prognoses than teenagers.

In my own life and search for a cure, I found professionals that believed as these do.  I contend, the obsessions of medical professional almost killed me.  Killing with the kindness of tough-love, prescribed by parents or physicians has the potential of doing a person in.  It certainly would have taken a toll on me.

Thankfully, I located others, those that treat with love, just as my parents did and do.  I discovered "experts" that acknowledge they are not.  They understood the notion that a person that has never experienced an illness cannot fully understand it.  Thus, they turned to me.  My parents and physicians reflected on who they knew me to be as a person.  They thought me wise.

I was trusted to resolve the situation for myself.  I was given only potassium and talk therapy to keep me alive.  Those in my life trusted my intelligence, my reflective nature, and my ability to be introspective.  The professionals, my parents, and my peers believed in me when I did not.  This was confusing, though extremely meaningful to me.

Those close to me knew of the tens of hours I devoted daily to eating, isolation, and purging.  They hoped, based on their history and knowledge of me that I was not simply doing binging and purging, but that I was also thinking.  I was working through my concerns and circumstances.  Indeed, I was.  When I finally, she says with great exasperation, found myself, discovered what Harriet Brown might refer to as my demons, I met them with delight.  I no longer; nor did my family or friends need to contemplate the possible impending doom.  I would not, will not return to those trying days of old anorexic or bulimic beckoning.

Four months after the "change of life" [no, not menopause] giving up my ways, I was thrown into a situation that truly tested my will.  I was in a serious accident.  Unexpectedly, my life went topsy-turvy.  I was badly injured and unable to walk.  The prognosis was grim.  It would be half a year before I could again return to a standing position.  I had perfected the bulimia process through many a situation, and in the past, I would have found a way to again engage.  I had the will and there was always a way.  However, on this occasion I did not return or resort to my decades old pattern.  I did not consider the option.

Ms. Brown, I share this with you for you are questioning, anxious, what might the future bring.  I myself think behavior modification programs such as the Maudsley plan may be nice.  Their success rate may seem comforting; however, I caution, it is my experience that unless or until the cause is addressed, the emotional effects are evaluated the likelihood that there is true resolution is "slim."  Many experts say anorexia and bulimia are chronic conditions.  Years after my coming of age, I still do not experience sweaty palms.  I do not white knuckle my way through stressful situations.  I think the emotional, intellectual work is essential.  Kitty may have done the work that you did not speak of.  I know not.  Nonetheless, I worry.  I think "cures" and certainty come with more than one spoonful at a time.

Please weigh your options.  Read the references.  Reflect who you are, more than your mass.

pdf One Spoonful at a Time. By Harriet Brown.  New York Times November 26, 2006

pdf "Big People on Campus. By Abby Ellin.  New York Times November 26, 2006

One Spoonful at a Time, By Harriet Brown.  New York Times. November 26, 2006

Big People on Campus, By Abby Ellin.  New York Times. November 26, 2006

Welcome to www.bulimia.com<

Watching Your Weight. Ohio State University Medical Center.

The diet business: Banking on failure. BBC News. February 5, 2003

Speech By Mark B McClellan, MD, PhD. Commissioner, Food and Drug Administration. July 1, 2003

Assessing and Treating Men With Eating Disorders, By D. Blake Woodside, M.D. Psychiatric Times March 2004

Harriet Brown

South London and Maudsley NHS Foundation Trust.

Parents Play Key Role In New Anorexia Treatment. Duke University

Maudsley Method: New Treatment for Anorexia. National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders

Eating Disorder Statistics  South Carolina Department of Mental Health

Statistics: Eating Disorders and their Precursors. National Eating Disorders Association

Anorexia Nervosa. MedicineNet

Anorexia Nervosa: Signs, Symptoms, Causes, Effects, and Treatments. Helpguide.org

Bulimia Nervosa The National Women's Health Information Center U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

Weight Gain Often Doesn't Mean Anorexia Cure. MedicineNet

Dear reader, you may wish to peruse Chapters One through Six, of my life as an anorexic, bulimic, a person.  Please do.

The Beginning. Bulimia and Becoming© [Chapter One] By Betsy L. Angert. BeThink.org

Bulimia. A Bit Becomes a Binge © [Chapter Two] By Betsy L. Angert. BeThink.org

Binges Build A Being, Separate From Self © [Chapter Three] By Betsy L. Angert. BeThink.org

Hiding the Food. Hiding The Feelings, Hiding Me © [Chapter Four] By Betsy L. Angert. BeThink.org

The Satiated Stomach. The Study Of Food [Chapter Five] By Betsy L. Angert. BeThink.org

Bulimia. Wait! It is Not My Weight © [Chapter Six] By Betsy L. Angert. BeThink.org
Or Similar Discussions . . .

When Will I Be Right? Is It Ever Okay To Be Me? © By Betsy L. Angert. BeThink.org

Weight. Balancing Fat with Feelings, Habits With Health © By Betsy L. Angert. BeThink.org

A reader asked that I share this information.

The National Eating Disorders Association's "Every BODY Is Beautiful" Online Fundraising Auction currently running through Wednesday, December 6th! There are some unique holiday shopping (jewelry, handbags, clothing, celebrity-autographed collectibles - featuring customized jeans from The Sopranos' Jamie-Lynn Sigler and singer Sarah Evans - and much more) while at the same time contributing to an amazing, life-saving cause!

You may wish to read of the artist in an LAWeekly essay, The Art of Spooning, By Caroline Ryder, or of the fundraiser at SpoonFed Art on MySpace.com.

tags technorati : Bulimia, Bulimic, Anorexic, Anorexia, Maudsley, Harriet Brown, Christopher Dare, Ivan Eisler, Tough Love,

Posted by Betsy L. Angert on November 27, 2006 at 03:28 PM in "Take me as I am!", Addiction, Anorexia Nervosa, Approval or Love, Being, Becoming, Bulimia, Calories. Cells., Change the World [Within], Childhood Obesity, Compassion, Conflict, Complex, Desire to Learn, Diet, Dreams Live and Die , Emotional Decisions, Emotional Intelligence, Empathy and Evolution, Facts or Fictions, Failure, Family, Functioning, Fables, Fear, Food Folly, Habits, Health, Human Nature, Humans, Self-Destructive, Life, A Forward Motion, Light. Darkness., Looking at Life, Looking for Love, Loss, Love of Learning, Metamorphosis of Minds, Nature, Nature or Nurture, Nutrition, Parent Child Relationship, Personal, Psychology , Quality of Life, Reality or Perception, Short-term Solutions, Society, Standards in Society, Teach The Children, Weight, When Will I Be Right?, “Art of Loving” , “When is Enough, Enough?” | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Jews, Mel Gibson, War. Rehabilitating Hatred ©

“Peace is harder to make than war.” - Stanley Weintraub Those that know me well might ask why would I write an exposé discussing Mel Gibson. I am not a fan of Hollywood or its gossip. I do not go to the movie theatres. I rarely recall the names of actors. Show business personalities are of little interest to me. Their art does not mesmerize my mind. Most of it, I feel, is meaningless. As for Mel, I was unwilling to attend a showing of the “Passion of Christ,” even though a friend offered to pay for my ticket. As much as I believe it is important to know what those that differ from me, think, say, do and feel, the prospect of an anti-Semitic message turned my stomach.

Though this treatise will invoke the name of Mel Gibson, it is not about Mr. Gibson; it is about hatred and whether or not we can rehabilitate the hearts and minds of those that hate.

People hate for all sorts of reasons, or they say they do. The poor loathe the rich, though they wish to be them. The affluent can't bear the sight of the destitute. They fear becoming impoverished themselves and loosing the luxuries that are their life. Blacks detest whites; Hispanics are becoming a close second. No one loves the oppressor or the aspiring that seem to be rising above the fray. Whites find Blacks objectionable. I suspect color is their concern. The natural born despise the immigrants; they are frightened that these “low-lives” will take their jobs. The émigré abhor hypocritical employers that hire them. Many migrants are offered jobs they take. Upon completing their work, they are paid with threats. Supervisors often say they will turn these laborers into the Immigration and Naturalization Services if need be.

In truth, none of these individuals or groups hates the other. They merely do not know or understand what is unfamiliar or different. They are apprehensive when confronted with what they think might hurt them. Their anxiety causes them to interpret the stranger through a clouded filter. Rather than communicate what they are truly feeling they lash out. Instead of asking to understand the unknown, they assume. People easily become consumed with what they do not comprehend. They forget what they could know.

“Hate” is an expression of fear and pain. We loathe what is foreign or unfamiliar to us. We are angst-driven when we do not appreciate. Humans disdain the possibility of harm; any that might impose pain are reviled. However, those we love are special. We know all their faults and find these endearing or at least tolerable. Those we know are not our enemies; nor are they evil. All the wrongs in the world are not imposed upon our friends or our family. Familiars are our treasures. They tame us and we tame them.

I believe hate is a habit. We learn it when we are very, very, very young, before we understand that there are other possibilities. In the last few days, prompted by the arrest and anti-Semantic antics of Mel Gibson I have heard many discussions of habits and whether a person can fully recover from an addiction. None was more interesting to me than an interview by Journalist Soledad O’Brien of Cable News Network.

Ms. O‘Brien asked marketing specialist, Laura Ries of Mel Gibson’s future. Is this admitted alcoholic hurt by his actions? Can he return and be salable? As the verbal exchange ensued, there was discussion of the Gibson apology. Was it adequate or sincere? Talk of his ensuing therapy filled the thread. All that was well and good; however, for me, Ms. O’Brien offered what was most powerful. She asked, “Can we rehabilitate hate?” She then stated, “Rehab can't cure the anti-Semitism, and can't cure the nasty thing he said to the female deputy, right?” Ms. Ries answered “No.” She thought nothing could be done to eliminate what I believe is the core issue.

Some say, “Once an addict, always an addict,” my experience differs. I do think change is a challenge and does not come easily. Nevertheless, I think it does come if given a chance. I have witnessed it in my own life and I trust that others have as well. We all can recount stories of a time when we thought another was very unpleasant. Then, when we got to know the person; they became our friend. Intimate knowledge informed our perception. An enemy was now an intimate. all else changed.

I wish to provide a parable that relates, one told by Stanley Weintraub and shared in a book, “Silent Night: The Story of The World War I Christmas Truce. The story is true. It is one of peace; however, it begins as many sagas do during times of strife. It is the tale of two enemies. This incident took place during the Christmas season, in the middle of a war, World War I. Weintraub writes

At Christmas 1914 there took place in some parts of the British line what is still regarded by many as the most remarkable incident of the War — an unofficial truce.

Mr. Weintraub explains in an interview,

In part, the truce came about as brief truces in earlier wars occurred — as a respite to bury the dead. This was arranged for first light on Christmas Day. The joint ceremonies were especially moving. However, they jointly realized that by clearing No Man's Land of its grisly dead, they had created a space to fraternize, and even to play football. The Germans held more formal religious marking of Christmas than did the other side. But it was football that was the working-class religion. in sharing food, smokes, and play, each side de-demonized the other (if I can coin such a word).

The inscription continues,

During the winter, it was not unusual for little groups of men to gather in a front trench, and there hold impromptu concerts, singing patriotic songs. The Germans, too, did much the same, and on calm evenings the songs from one line floated to the trenches of the other side, and were received with applause, and sometimes with calls for an encore.”

Once the battle resumed the troops realized, they could not kill their rivals. The troops were no longer foes. They had become known entities, real people. With hearts and souls. They were no long bodies without blood and feelings; these were men no different than those trying to kill them. After, the truce and all that it involved, soldiers on each side saw their enemy and understood, he is as I am. Fear fled; hearts filled. These British and Germans troops were no longer adversaries; they had become allies.

In order for us human beings to commit ourselves personally to the inhumanity of war, we find it necessary first to dehumanize our opponents, which is in itself a violation of the beliefs of all religions. Once we characterize our adversaries as beyond the scope of God's mercy and grace, their lives lose all value.
~ Jimmy Carter, Former President of the United States

I think this tale is telling; it illustrates what few imagine as they profess policy. Silent Night addresses hatred on a human level and confounds the practical. This narrative honors the philosophy I think is vital; when we diminish and dismiss the dignity of a man, woman, or child, when we relegate the life of a living being to that of an object then we separate ourselves from reality. We create our own fiction. We allow ourselves to hate when we react and posture. When we choose to believe that our neighbor is our enemy or evil, we enable murder. If we were to recognize our fellow man is our mirror, even our Muse everything would change. Admittedly, change is a challenge.

Therefore, I propose that we learn from the history that is too well hidden. Might we see the story of Silent Night as our guide? Perchance, if we adopted a policy of acquaintanceship we would progress. Genuine peace would be our reward.

I anticipate the claims. “My actions will not affect others.” Alternatively, “The task is too broad.” I have already begun, “Some of my best friends are.” However, these assertions take me back to the talk of Mel Gibson.

I feel certain, as a newborn baby, Mel knew nothing of revulsion. He was unaware of religion or stereotypes. This blank slate learned. After instruction, he intentionally never befriended a Jewish person. if he did accidentally, his preconceived notion ruled. Disdain for Jews dominated his thoughts. He intentionally never allowed himself to feel close to one of this religion, race, ethnicity, or creed. He maintained a personal and professional distance. However, likely, even for Mel, one or two Jews may have slipped through the cracks of his loathing. Such an odd occurrence would be perfect, for it would allow this anti-Semite to say, and to believe that, some of his best friends were, and they may have actually been. However, as a whole the man differentiated between those he knew personally and those he accepted to be, as he always believed them to be.

What I put forth is that we consistently open our minds and our hearts, not only to those that enter our sphere, but to all. I ask to put down our arms and put them out instead. When there is conflict, when world leaders, family patriarchs, friends, or fellow workers are feeling ready for a feud they require themselves to sit and have a meal with those that think differently than they do. People ready to pounce must instead purposely choose to live in close proximity with their “enemy” and their enemies’ entire clan for a week or more.

What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
~ Robert E. Lee, Civil War General, in a letter to his wife, 1864

Each individual must speak frequently with their supposed adversaries, and learn from and of the other. If we do this what might happen? Perhaps if we knew one another intimately we would be able to see, to feel, to empathize, and relate. Perchance, we would discover a friend amongst our foes. I wonder; if we were truly open to discovery, to dialogue, to dining and living with our antagonist might we find a friend or at least not someone we are ready to kill?

I trust that you, or I can blame the other and state that I am willing; yet, they are not. I believe someone must begin and believe, if not us who. The other may not be receptive, initially. I have experienced that. However, I find in my own life if I do not accept and allow my fears and feelings of woe to guide me, much is not as I expected to be. I imagine that each of us has experienced what a smile can create. As you approach a grumpy or a distracted soul, smile and watch what happens. Even a gentle and unobtrusive grin opens doors and windows. Imagine what genuine dialogue might do.

I ask you dear reader to consider, would there be war if we truly knew our neighbors? If we were to experience our enemies as allies, if we saw and treated our adversaries as human rather than foreigners would we be able to kill them. If they were given the opportunity to know us as we are, would they wish to harm us? I think not.

Communication and communing might seem a chore too complex too complete. However, I think we must begin; we must try and see what we can do. The competitive spirit of centuries past has not helped; it has hindered attempts towards concord. We witnessed the tale of a World War I truce; we can know peace is a possibility. Is it not preferable to bombs? I think we would all agree destruction benefits no one, other than those that produce the bombs.

Lets us imagine and originate a world where we work together as one, where fear and loathing are not the overriding principles. Lets us conceive of and achieve a global village where greed is not greater than the sense of equality. I request rather than fighting against nameless faces, we meet our rivals in their homes and in ours. I think society be better served if we would invest in knowing, if we become acquainted with the anonymous persons we now call aliens. Perhaps, war will become whimsy, never be true again if we sincerely endeavor to eliminate the concepts of enemy and evil. I invite us all to join in peace to work as one, united. Some may smile, hold hands, and and sing Kum-by-yah; others will softly hum the words of Silent Night.

There are those playing Guns and Roses, Civil War. I was among these and perchance I still am.

"What we've got here is failure to communicate.
Some men you just can't reach...
So, you get what we had here last week,
which is the way he wants it!
Well, he gets it!
N' I don't like it any more than you men." *

Look at your young men fighting
Look at your women crying
Look at your young men dying
The way they've always done before

Look at the hate we're breeding
Look at the fear we're feeding
Look at the lives we're leading
The way we've always done before

My hands are tied
The billions shift from side to side
And the wars go on with brainwashed pride
For the love of God and our human rights
And all these things are swept aside
By bloody hands time can't deny
And are washed away by your genocide
And history hides the lies of our civil wars

D'you wear a black armband
When they shot the man
Who said, "Peace could last forever"

I did; I do. I trust it begins with me.

References for Review and Reflection . . .
• “Passion of Christ”
• The Protocols of Mel Gibson, By Katha Pollitt. The Nation. March 11, 2004 (March 29, 2004 issue)
• Hate is learned and can be "unlearned," By Caryl M. Stern-LaRosa. Anti-Defamation League.
• Soledad O’Brien of Cable News Network
• Mel Gibson's Statement, By The Associated Press. Tuesday, August 1, 2006
• Silent Night: The Story of the World War I Christmas Truce, By Stanley Weintraub.
• German and British front-line soldiers sang carols, exchanged gifts, and . . . Status: True. Urban Legends Reference Pages. Snopes.com. 24 December 2003
• Proposals Abound for Mel Gibson Healing, By Jocelyn Noveck. Associated Press National Writer. SFGate. Friday, August 4, 2006
• American Morning Transcripts. Cable News Network. August 1, 2006
• Stanley Weintraub
• Christmas on the Battlefield, The 1914 Christmas Truce. Q&A by Kathryn Jean Lopez. National Review Online. December 21, 2002
• Divine Words, A missive from the main character of The Passion to director Mel Gibson. By Tony Hendra. The American Prospect. March 2, 2004
• Mel Gibson link to Aussie anti-Semitic group, Lincoln Wright. Herald Sun. August 06, 2006

Posted by Betsy L. Angert on August 6, 2006 at 03:00 PM in "The Passion of the Christ" , Addiction, Anti-Semitism, Change the World [Within], Communities and Communication , Current Affairs, Emotional Decisions, Empathy and Evolution, Mel Gibson, Director, Military Missions, Nature or Nurture, Racial Discrimination, Rehabilitating Hatred, Religious Wars, Soldiers, Teach The Children, Touching Humanity, Violence, War and Peace, War Kills [Mind, Body, Spirit], Why War?, World War I Christmas Truce, Xenophobia, “War; Not an Option” | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack